Questionable Massage Client?

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BeautyByNikki

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2011
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Location
Milton Keynes, Bucks
I'm looking for a little advice regarding a client. I just had a call from a guy asking to book a massage. I couldn't hear exactly what he said at first, he had an accent and i'm awful at understanding any accent out of the Bucks county!

I'm sure he asked what sort of massage it is and is it body to body. I'm not 100% he said this so I said i just need to make you aware this is a professional full body massage. Now i don't know if that made it sound worse! He also kept calling me darling - but i know some people do that anyway without it being weird.

Obviously i am a beauty therapist offering straightforward swedish and aromatherapy massage. I don't want to turn anyone away just because i thought i heard something and if it was a women i probably wouldn't have assumed she said that.

I've not seen any men in my new beauty room apart from a good friend so i was comfortable with him.

Does anyone have any advice for me? Should i just do it? There are hairdressers in the salon so i'm not totally on my own. Or should i make up an excuse not to do it?

Also in future, how do i tell people its a massage, not a massage with a happy ending? (don't know how to word that!)

Thanks x
 
Trust your gut! I live by the old saying, when in doubt, DON'T.

If you have any misgivings about him, don't book him. HTH! :)
 
To be honest I would text him before the appointment saying "Hi, just a quick reminder about our appointment today at xxx. I look forward to meeting you. Regards XYZ ps. Please be advised that my services are strictly professional and I don't offer sexual/ sensual massage"

If he's genuine he'll be fine if not- he won't turn up. From my experience no one ever Felt offended by me making it clear there is no funny business when I'm around :) and I'm very strict with guys!

But as above said- trust your guy feeling! If it feels dodgy- it is dodgy :) x
 
My friend offers men "back neck and shoulders" only... I know that doesn't help in this situation, but maybe something u could think about for the future? Xx
 
I offer men back, neck and shoulder massage only! I was scared once when i heard a funny accent down the phone and he said he wanted a long massage! Met him and during the massage he didn't do anything to make me uncomfortable. I then got in a taxi one day and it was him, he now gives me 40% off taxi fare lol. Is a regular client and have met his wife too. Lovely person, i always think u can never assume just by sumones voice on the phone now. I always make them very aware that i will not massage lower back :/ and very clear to just take their top off and keep trousers on. As i feel a lot more comfortable this way! Although i have had a man in who was just a bit to over friendly and he was a walk in app, he looked fine i was not wary wen he asked 4 massage. If sumone said sumfin strange on fone i wud just say oh we don't really offer that sort of treatment! Hope this helps xx
 
I do lots of men's massage and I would NEVER text a male client and say anything about sexual massage or happy endings. This could be extremely offensive and it will make you look really unprofessional.
Men need massage for stress,tension and or relaxation just the same as women. In all my years of being a therapist I have never had aman come in for a massage and assume its anything other than a professional massage.
I have had a couple of weirdos and I mean just a couple,on the phone and I put them straight. End of.
As long as you are in the building with other therapists or people and you are playing safe there should be no problems.
When carrying out a full body on a men just avoid any erogenous zones. Behave professionally and carry out a full consultation,which to be perfectly straight is actually the best way to ensure you get the message well and truly over to your client that your massage is strictly professional and a no sex treatment.
I seriously believe most men do not book in for a massage in a salon and turn up with the thought that it's a sexual favours type of massage.
 
BABSann I think you are very lucky not having much sexual offers.

I am fully professional and my advice is based on my experience. I receive daily phone calls asking for sensual/sexual massage and it happened to me plenty of times that a man booked a massage with me ( and i always stretch over the phone that i do strictly professional massage no sex/sensual stuff) and after I sent a confirmation once again saying I don't do funky business they were asking me 'so how much would be for happy ending" or "what if I pay you double"

If someone has good intentions they never cancel but always say how they understand why I do it.

sometimes we have to be firm but it doesn't make us unprofessional.
 
Thanks guys, I really appreciate all the advice you've taken the time to give. I'm gonna chat to my fiancé and hopefully come up with a solution.

Thanks again x
 
BABSann I think you are very lucky not having much sexual offers.

I am fully professional and my advice is based on my experience. I receive daily phone calls asking for sensual/sexual massage and it happened to me plenty of times that a man booked a massage with me ( and i always stretch over the phone that i do strictly professional massage no sex/sensual stuff) and after I sent a confirmation once again saying I don't do funky business they were asking me 'so how much would be for happy ending" or "what if I pay you double"

If someone has good intentions they never cancel but always say how they understand why I do it.

sometimes we have to be firm but it doesn't make us unprofessional.

Daily phone calls asking for sexual/ sensual massage?? I've worked in several salons over the years and worked for myself and never ever have I had this problem on a daily basis nor have any of the staff. I've had 2 guys ring me,one asking if I would stand on him( weird I know) wish I had said yes and then told him I was 30 stone,hope he wouldn't mind lol.
Other one was a bit weird,something just didn't feel right,but that's it. These were both when I had my own business and I think they just thought they would try it on.
If I were a guy and I had a bad back and had booked in for a massage and then I recieved a text saying ' I don't do funky business' I would run a mile. Sorry if this offends im just saying how I would feel and how my male clients would probably receive this information.
It's up to the individual how they want to conduct their business. For me it would be a categorical no no to send a text like mentioned or to say this over the phone when the guy booked in. If he asked me then of course I would put him straight or if he made sexual innuendos but I wouldn't assume he wanted that type of massage and I genuinely think a lot of guys would be most offended to have it suggested to them that they were actually trying to book in for anything other than a professional massage.
 
Daily phone calls asking for sexual massage?!! Gee! What business image do you have?!!!
 
Just got to ask, how can a guy be comfortable having a back, neck and shoulder massage with his trousers still on? Also not massaging the lower back as part of a BNS either. Not meaning to offend but as a LMT I find this strange.
 
I had a missed call today at 3:42am!!! And it's not a first time!!!! Do you think the caller wanted a manicure or was drunk and needed a prostitute???

When I say daily- I mean it!

All my adverts actually state that inappropriate offers will be treated as harassment and reported to the police and the pervs still ring me!!!

I actually befriended one of the local ladies who offers sexual & tantrick massage and I give her number away if the person ringing is a "nice" perv! At least I know they won't ring me again.

And I had to stop offering massage for couples because as soon as I started advertise I had both men & women ringing me asking if I would join their fiddles etcetcetc!

So yes- everyone has to run the business own way and for me my way works perfectly.

I find it disgusting and there is nothing about my business, my website or adverts that would gave a hint of me being into this sort if stuff.

And decent guys never mind me texting them what are my rules. My rules work a treat for me.
 
Daily phone calls asking for sexual massage?!! Gee! What business image do you have?!!!

Matthew... That's a bit harsh. My my business name, my website advertising shellac, manicures, spray tanning and somewhere along the lines massage is my image.

Instead of doubting in my business image start doubting in our society.

I've lost faith in man already. Well apart of my hubby :) he also can't get his head around these things.

And I am not the only one here with this problem!
 
i work from home and also started getting alot of calls like that, i now dont offer treatments to men. since putting on my website and leaflets that i only do female clients i dont get any more dodgy calls.
 
We don't really have this problem even though we do massage men.
I had a holistic therapist rent a room once who insisted on putting an advert in the local paper. I strongly advised her not to. We had so many Perves ring up just from that one ad it was unreal.
To the op, it could possibly be the wording on your ads or literature that is causing this.
 
I honestly think it's because you are stating that you offer no sexual favours that you attracting these calls.
It's like when people advertise on ebay and state 'absolutely no swaps'. People know that this means they will accept swaps.
It is you that has mentioned the word 'sexual' in your advertising and I think that makes people, rightly or wrongly, assume that you will offer sexual favours.
I hope that makes sense. You need to take out any sexual references in your literature.
You could put that you are professional service but I really think you need to review your wording.
Do you have a link to your website?
 
the back, neck and shoulder i offer are upper back only whether man or woman. One of the massages which i offer is a 20min massage and is the most popular, and say they would rather just keep their trousers on rather than messing round. Just like sum ppl pefer to keep their top on for indian head. The 1st time i see a man, they always keep trousers on. Once they become regular its diff, but the relationship and being comfortable goes both ways, therapist and client. I only posted on here to help another beauty therapist, everyone is different and hav their own style.
 
but the lady did think he asked for body to body and I think you can't be too careful? I know a young lady who has been propositioned by gentlemen during massage treaments. After all, there are others out there offering "that" sort of massage and we don't want to be confused with them.
 
I honestly think it's because you are stating that you offer no sexual favours that you attracting these calls.
It's like when people advertise on ebay and state 'absolutely no swaps'. People know that this means they will accept swaps.
It is you that has mentioned the word 'sexual' in your advertising and I think that makes people, rightly or wrongly, assume that you will offer sexual favours.
I hope that makes sense. You need to take out any sexual references in your literature.
You could put that you are professional service but I really think you need to review your wording.
Do you have a link to your website?

There are no sexual references in my literature, so this is not the case. I am not 'asking for it.' It is not anywhere on my advertising. Please read my initial post again and you'll see that I mentioned it on the phone when I wasn't sure what he was asking for.

My website is www.theorchidbeautyroom.co.uk

I am quite used to treating men in the established salon where I also work, so have no issues giving men BNS massages or full body massages. It is merely the fact that I thought I heard him say something dodgy on the phone which is causing me to question his intentions.
 
I haven't read the whole thread, so don't know if I'm missing anything, but from just looking at your website I would say it looks professional and totally unjustified in inviting unsavoury responses.
 

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