In Need of Some Good Advice

[*Zoe*]

Hi Geeks,

Those that know me well will know that I am an accountant who does beauty part time, in the veenings and weekends. I started beauty because I became very dissillusioned by my current job. To cut a very long story short I hated it, and wanted something that was less 'stuck behind a desk'.

Well I applied to university to study a joint degree in Mathematics and Education and to my surprise I got in! I am really looking forward to starting the this september but there is one thing really bugging me that I need advice on.

I currently live with my mum and boyfriend in my mum's house. We have lived here for about 3 years and pay her £450 a month in rent. Without us, she wouldnt be able to afford the house because my dad passed away a few years ago.

When I go to uni I really want to spend my first year in halls of residence to experience the university life a little more, but feel trapped and unable to do so because of my mum and boyfriend.

However, out of the blue my mum has just told us that she will soon be selling the house because she is seeing someone, and wants to move in with them - effectively making me and my partner homeless. We would have to go get a flat together somewhere. I am now thinking, if she isn't worrying about us, should I worry about her? SHould I just move out and let her deal with the consequences? Or am I being selfish?

With regards to my boyfriend, I do love him very much, but feel the spark has gone out of our relationship. Something probably not helped by living with my mum. I feel so guilty wanting to leave him behind. Part of me thinks he could find a small bedsit for a year while I am in halls, and part of me thinks I am just being selfish.

What do you guys think about the whole situtation? I probably should mention that I am 27 years old and not a youngster no more. I am running out of time and need to decide what I should do.

Zoe x

[KayaPapaya]

Wow what a dilemma.
However, in your situation with all the factors taken into consideration I would say this, life's too short to muck about.
Do what you want to do, which is go and spend your first year in Uni (I'm guessing)

You sound very focussed and have your head screwed on right, so I think if you explain these things to everyone they'll all be in the picture so to speak.

I think it's very brave of you. But don't EVER let anyone hold you back - follow your own path. If you and your fella are meant to be together you will be. It might be the kick up the bum you both need to decide if you want to be together or not.

Good luck :)

[wonderwoman]

You need to do this for yourself. Your degree is your investment in yourself, forget about factoring anyone else, it is an experience.

It already sounds like you have resounded yourself to saying bye to your relationship, only problem is you feel guilty about it. Just be honest to him. I think the fact he maybe homeless is making it harder for you, but hay you cant have a kind way of breaking up....that why its called breaking up!

Your mum on the other hand, could have been more upfront with you about her situation, but this is problerly why your relationship with your bloke has run its course.

Either way its on you to be mega honest, good luck. xoxo

[*Zoe*]

Thanks for the reply. It is what I wanted to hear, I am just worried about speeding my mum's plans on to sell the house. Coz although she says she is doing it, she hasn't even startedthe process yet. If I leave it will force her to do. Did I mention my dead dad built this house too? Something to make mee feel even more stressed and crap :-S

I think you are right though, if I don't do this, it will be something I will regret for the rest of my life. It's just so hard!

[KayaPapaya]

Change is hard, and the emotions won't go away, but you can't not live your life to make it easier for your mum.

Your moving out, doesn't have to turn into a Jeremy Kyle show event (with fireworks and falling out with each other), just sit and talk calmly and rationally with your mum, and say you know I'm 27 and I need to move on with my life.

Your mum's probably waiting for you to give her a little nudge, and she's probably more terrified than you (that her baby's leaving home!)

Again, wish you all the best with your studies.

[Mobile Manicure]

You only get once chance in life, make sure you follow your heart or you will always regret it! :hug:

[*Zoe*]

Thanks for all your advice guys, I guess I am just going to have to be brave.

I'll let you know how I get on x

[lila22]

Thanks for all your advice guys, I guess I am just going to have to be brave.

I'll let you know how I get on x

Good luck with what you decide x x