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Yuri
22-07-09, 11:49 AM
I was clearing out my inbox and came across this. Thought some of you might like it. :)

Why English is hard to learn:
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
This was a good time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of injections my jaw got number.
Upon seeing the tear in my clothes I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I read it once and will read it again.
I learned much from this learned treatise.
I was content to note the content of the message.
The Blessed Virgin blessed her.
It's a bit wicked to over-trim a short wicked candle.
If he will absent himself we mark him absent.
I incline toward bypassing the incline.

Our Strange Lingo
When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true,
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose.
And think of goose and yet with choose
Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll or home and some.
Since pay is rhymed with say
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood, food and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum up all, it seems to me
Sound and letters don't agree.

Ruth Mills
22-07-09, 12:01 PM
LOL that is fantastic!

Makes me think of one of my favourite plays on words that I saw a while ago:

"All rights reserved, all wrongs reversed"...
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rouge
22-07-09, 06:26 PM
:lol::lol:....and oh so true!

My brother told me when he was at school there was a lad from somewhere in India in his class who wrote in an English essay 'I extinguished the cat' instead of 'I put the cat out'. He just couldn't understand why he'd got it wrong.

Ruth Mills
22-07-09, 06:32 PM
:lol::lol:....and oh so true!

My brother told me when he was at school there was a lad from somewhere in India in his class who wrote in an English essay 'I extinguished the cat' instead of 'I put the cat out'. He just couldn't understand why he'd got it wrong.

LOL!!! Poor wet kitty! Did it get its tail too close to the gas fire, I wonder???
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rouge
22-07-09, 10:58 PM
LOL!!! Poor wet kitty! Did it get its tail too close to the gas fire, I wonder???
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Oooh, now that reminds me of the time my friend's cat sat a bit too close to the fire. It scorched its fur quite badly as I recall. The strange thing was that the cat never even noticed. :eek: It was only when my friend smelled the burning hair....

Ruth Mills
22-07-09, 11:03 PM
Oooh, now that reminds me of the time my friend's cat sat a bit too close to the fire. It scorched its fur quite badly as I recall. The strange thing was that the cat never even noticed. :eek: It was only when my friend smelled the burning hair....

Good job your friend noticed - she averted a catastrophe there!

rouge
22-07-09, 11:11 PM
Good job your friend noticed - she averted a catastrophe there!

:smack:

You deserved that.:lol:

*Ang*
22-07-09, 11:19 PM
:lol: Love it!! It puts a whole new slant on what we know and take for granted doesn't it!!

lelaah
23-07-09, 12:54 AM
ohh thank you for this, I have got to send it to my mum, shes always moaning how hard our launguage is, now i see why haha

JessieBee
23-07-09, 09:09 PM
We have a little seaside village not too far from us called Sea Palling, pronounced the same as ball, yet in Norwich we have the Castle Mall which is pronounced mal lol.