Ok, I have a cousin that I am helping out and she is really starting to get to me. She got pregnant and needs to go back to South Africa. So her mom had a talk with my mom and arranged that her mom will give my mom money in Rand(SA currency) and I have to give it to my cousin in pond. I said that was fine! Now she is demanding money from me now but her mom have not given my mom any money yet. And she has desided that she is moving into our house without even asking. She lives in Gloucheshier and me in London and she is comming on tuesday, she told me today, she didn't even ask. I feel sorry for her and don't mind helping but this is just taking the micky.

Sorry I just needed to unload.

Oh poor you! I was gonna say tell her to p*** off if she cant be grateful but that's easy for me to say, i guess you have to grin and bare it. She'll be going home soon won't she?

yes, on th 17 August. But I have to pay rent and she has no money so I'll have to pay that too. And it is a lot of money if you pay for it in Rand. Ask anybody thats been to SA.

It sounds liuke she is really taking advantage of your good nature

Tell her to sling it!

You will end up resenting her! She sounds like she is being very irresponsible... but then we don't know her circumstances... perhaps she is not thinking straight at the moment and is desperate?!

The 17th is not a great deal of time away so do try and be calm and remember.. the end is in sight!!!

As for the money situation, her mother really should be paying this now and not taking advantage of you and yours.... don't ya just love families?!

Dont give up your own hard earned money. Wait until you get the cash in hand, then give it to her. If she doesn't like it, TOO BAD.
You have your own bills etc.. and responsibilities.
Dont feel guilty. yes, she is young BUT she's not stupid. She got herself into this mess, she can get herself out of it.
I'm all for helping friends, but you've got to draw the line and not be an enabler. She needs to step up and take care of her own problems.

Dont leave yourself short because of HER problems.
If she has issue with it, then tell her to go find the father and ask him for money. As for her inviting herself.... I wouldn't stand for that. If she wants to stay, she can politely ASK AND find a way to pay her own way for room and board. There ARE jobs to be had. If she doesn't like them, too bad. Work is work is work.

Sorry, but I never got a free ride, and don't see the sense in giving it to someone else as they'll be looking for another free ride later.

Do what suits you best, not what is best for others, stand your ground, you did not get her in this position, and it is not your responsibility.

Joan

Thank you for all your messages. I will see what happens today.She just gets me so angry and it feels like she thinks the world owes her something. Thank you for listening.