Hi Geeks,

A question that I have often wondered what is THE answer..
another thread reminded me and provoked this thread.

I adore my bloke, and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him..making him at least half as happy as he makes me everyday (ok enough slosh!) LOL

..but is that feeling Love? or 'in Love'?? Maybe both, but whats the difference?

Not on a too deep note

I just wondered on your thoughts of the difference between Love and In Love?
What did you vote, and why?

For me

love - is just putting up with your other half (husband, partner even friends) but not being able to forgive them when they have hurt you.

in love - means that you love them unconditionally, you would do anything for them (and hopefully they would do the same for you ) that if they hurt you - you would be able to understand where they were coming from and that it perhaps wasn't just their fault!

I love my second husband - we have both had to give and take and I will always remember the day I saw him waiting for me on the train platform at Leeds 12 years ago - with a huge smile it still makes my heart skip a beat!

13 nearly 14 years later - I still want to see that smile and even though he has his faults and me mine - I know that for US - there isn't a better/more perfect match

ahhh... did I unwittingly light the fuse with my reply to another thread earlier?



Loving someone, to me, means that you care for them but that the love doesn't quite reach the depths of your heart,
ie you go from day to day doing the same old stuff and nothing about your relationship ever leaves you with a tingly feeling or the feeling of being truly wanted or appreciated.

Being in love with someone, to me, means that you give yourself entirely to them, in mind, body and soul, and vice versa, they give themselves to you. It's about working together, it's about feeling the spark of the relationship, it's about the warm feeling you get inside when they look at you, it's about feeling wanted and needed for being you as opposed to what you do for them.

I think that it all changes as the relationship grows and ages too, the longer you're with someone the deeper those feeling are, it isn't lust, it's a genuine love and feeling loved in return.

I can honestly say that I wouldn't want anyone else to know me as my hubby knows me, I don't know that I could bare my soul to anybody else the way I can and do with him. Maybe that comes from being together for a long time, married for 17 years and together for nearly 20 years, that's more than half of my lifetime!

There's so much more to it (IMO) but I won't bore you all to death lol, I'm sure you get the drift.

Love to me is a feeling that you get when you care for someone very much...you care if they are hurt, sad or afraid...you think about them when you are not with them...you will go out of your way to be there for them....you can forgive them and you are glad you have them in your life.

Being in love to me is never wanting to be apart....to miss them dearly when you are....to eagerly await there return....and to feel them deep inside...like they are part of you.

I do think that love gets deeper the longer you have known each other.

I thought this would be an easy one to answer to be honest but when i tried to type what being in love is, i found it alot harder than i thought....i guess what i mean is...you just know !!!....and i cant put into words really how it feels...you just feel it.

In Robs birthday card i wanted to try and say how much i was in love with him...but again, words just didn't seem to do it justice....so i wrote....

I love you more than words can say...so I'll shut up !!!.....(i know he knows)

Nice thread...xxx

Now this one amuses me... I recently asked my friend who is of the male kind whether he is 'in love' with his current partner. He said he 'loved' her but wouldn't admitt to being 'in love'. I believe 'in love' is a combination of partner to partner love and lust, sexually, mentally etc etc.. However you can 'love' in the previously described way, platonically, mother/father to daughter/son, friend etc etc.. So I think their probably is quite a fine line between the both of them but certainly different things in their own right.

Well that's my two pennies worth anyway!!

Wow, Angie you hit it right on the head for me! That's exactly how I'd explain it!

"In Love" means:
*Sitting with him on the couch while he watches shows you're not interested in just so you can be next to him.
*Picking up his dirty laundry every morning for 20 years and not complaining about it because you're sure he does the same without you knowing it.
*Recognizing his own personal scent before he puts his arms around you.
*Trusting him to take care of stuff that you freak out about.
*Taking care of stuff for him that he freaks out about!
*Realizing that you've been waiting for him when you hear his car pull into the driveway.
ETC ETC ETC!!

oooh er this is deep for 3.30 in the morning ! i am up coz my baby has a cold poor little lamb anyway.........
i think you can love someone and not be in love with them i think as stated above its 2 totally different things , for me
being in love ... is when you cant stand to be apart, and spend most of the day thinking about them , doing rubbish stuff coz they like it and not complaining , doing all them daft quizzes in magazines to see how perfectly matched you are , being actually bothered what you look like 1st thing in a morning
i think i am both in love and love my hubby at the same time, sometimes i dont feel like i get that butterfly feeling when we kiss and other times i go to jelly,some days i miss him some i dont ,
i suppose it just depends on what mood i am in fickle aint i , well i am a gemini ... that says it all x

After 19 years of marriage it is all still good and for us the best bit is we are still never bored with one another.

my story is really soppy so i apologise in advance. my hubby has been away on courses and tour for a year and a half now. last year we had a really bad patch where we were going our seperate ways. i think it was due to stress and being apart for so long but we sorted it out before it got too far and i came back to germany.

he went on tour for 7 months this year and i think that was the turning point for both of us. he has changed considerably towards me as hes more loving than ive ever known him to be.

now i feel like ive fell in love all over again. i just cant get enough of him. ive always loved him but i thought i was in love with him until he came back and the way i have been feeling i think it was just love and the "in love" part had diminished over the past 18 months.

im so happy now its great and we are like a pair of love struck teenagers when we are around each other.

IT'S GREAT!!!!!

I waited a very long time for the right one to come along and I've found him.

I love him, I'm in love with him, I need him, I want him, I respect him, I fancy him, I just everything him!

Teri x

I simply just hate my partner at the moment.


M.

Its very interesting how people judge love in different degrees.

I would have to agree with the magority, I think I love an am in love..

Sometimes I cant wait to get home early from work if I know he is there.. I enjoy cooking him a hearty meal and looking after him. LOL
I like to do things like iron his shirt for work, even though I HATE ironing my own clothes.

If I want to go on holiday, to see my mum in Lanzarote, I want him to come with me, because I want us to experience romantic moments of walking on the beach etc.. and I just feel more safe and secure when he is around.

I always change my top, or put a bit of lippy on just before he comes through the door from a long day.. cos IMO it helps me feel more attractive to him and provokes a warmer cuddle and kiss than usual. (there has been times he came back slightly early and surprised me, and I felt a right state just in after walking the dogs in the wind!) LOL.

Thanks for your replies so far, keep them coming!