we i think the title on this thread has said it all, im gona be fat and single

me and hubby were both miserable and have not been to great for a while now so after a lot of talking we have decided to split up, we are both in agrement that it is the best thing to do and i do now feel like a weight has been lifted from my sholders, i was due to have a tummy tuck at the end of the month but there is no way i can ask him to pay for it now, so i will have to wait till im sorted and save up for it.

i have told him i want nothing from him and i will sign the deeds of the house over to him as i have never paid a penny on the morgage and he has worked so hard for the house. i have got to start house hunting on monday for me and the kids, i feel in limbo today

Mate, I know just how you feel, you know how my marriage has been, it was bad when I first met you.

I have just signed the divorce papers to put it all in motion, so we can keep each other company on the road to our new lives, you know where I am if you need a good old chat and believe me it helps to have someone to moan to, ask Tricky she has had to put up with me for ages

Well Tracey maybe this will be a good start for you to the beginning of the rest of your life !!!

Good luck with looking for a house!!

thanks hun, the hardist thing is ging to be liveing here in the house with him until i find a place, my sister said i could stay with her but i dont want to take the kids out of school as it is there last 1/2 term

Thats exactly what I am having to do until we sell the house and it ain't much fun. If you can be amicable then stay, but to be honest I thought we could be amicable, boy was I ever wrong!!!

aww bless ya both,good luck with ya life you can do it xx take care xx

Aw darlin, I am so sorry to hear this!

Please don't take offence to what I am going to say (someone I know is going through the same thing right now), do you think it's the right decision to not ask him for anything? I mean I'm sure that's the last thing on your mind right now and he sounds like he has worked his butt off but surely you have contributed to the house/relationship.

I know it's probably something that you don't want to have to think about as it's painful for you both, I'm sorry, I know it's not about what you can get, just want to make sure that you don't have to struggle aswell as deal with all the upset of breaking up.

Don't worry about the tummy tuck either, you seem like such a strong woman you'll get the money and it will be all your doing!

Sending you massive and I'm thinking about you!

Teri x

I've pm'd you Tracy xx

everyone is saying the same thing but i honestly dont want anything from him, i have said all i want is my personal stuff and the kids bedroom furniture, when i get set up on my own i need to know in my heart i have done it on my own and i realy dont want to take away anything paul has worked so hard for, he has said he will give me the depostit and 1st months reant on a place when i find one

Then God Bless you Tracy!!

You obviously know what you want and I totally respect that. You're right to make sure that you and the kids are ok and him too, it's a mutaul arrangement from what you've said and making sure the kids are ok is paramount.

I wish you all the best in everything you do, I can't begin to imagine what you are going through right now but my heart goes out to you and yours, not gonna be online for much longer but the short time that I will be here, I'm there for you mate!!

ANYTIME!!

Teri x

My heart goes out to both of you, its a horrible situation to find yourself in, no matter what the reason. You sound very reasonable with your comments about not wanting anything from him. However, you're also being extremely naive, you still require a place to live for yourself and the kids. You say that you've never paid a penny towards the mortgage, yeah? What were you doing when he was out working? I'll bet you were looking after the kids, building the family home, cooking, cleaning etc, etc. That is a job and a half by anyones standards, so half the pay he brought home was in fact yours. Half the bills paid, were paid by you even though you didnt pay the actual bills yourself.

The sad fact of the matter is that although you want things to be amicable, these things have a habit of turning nasty pretty quickly. I would advise you in the strongest possible terms to see a solicitor first thing Monday morning. You're going to need a lot of support in the future, there will be testing times ahead. So dont feel too bad about telling your close friends that your relationship has broken down, you will need them. I speak from experience.

Wishing you and your hubby all the best

Tracy. Hang in there. xx

I don't know lots about divorce (been separated 6 years, not yet divorced) but I'm fairly sure that if your children are your husband's and they are still children (if that makes sense) then the judge presiding will not grant the divorce unless he /she is happy that the financial arrangements are fair. What I've been told is, whatever is agreed amicably can be over-ridden by the judge, when there are children concerned. I agree with Seanny, you must get professional advice from a solicitor. Take care of yourself