HOW MEN AMUSE THEMSELVES IN TESCO'S

Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping

This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.

7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.

9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.

10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.

11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.

12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'

13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'

Now even my husband laughed at that one!

I think it has give him a few ideas

do you really really think its real? OMG if it is!!!
hee hee

My hub's favourite is to leave smells everywhere, he lets one off then silently moves away, usually leaving me to face the music.

Tesco's is evil. Kudos to him for having the courage to rebel against the system!

holding a packet of custard creams ask a member of staff in a really lame voice..."I cant find the custard creams"....its so immature...but so funny...

find a tube of rash cream and shout loudly to your partner..."found the cream for your nasty contagious rash honey"..

Hi,
Can't stop laughing, If this is real - then he is a scream, needs locking up or should be on TV, or if it's just for a laugh then you have me............and all my friends will see this.
Thank you for the humor..........I am tickled pink x x x

Is this a joke and a half or what lol I daren't show this to my husband or should I . Fantastic absolutely hilarious

hahaha, very funny..

Someone emailed me this a while back but it said it was Walgreens in America not Tesco.

So i'm guessing it's not real and just a joke.

Sure gave me some good ideas though. It's me who hates shopping in our relationship!

Lol now I know why I left mental health

Oh my word I just laughed and laughed at this.....my mascara is stinging my eyes argh!!!!

Ok...cleaned up....

I would seriously marry any man who would actually do this....and whoever made this up is brilliant....just my kind of humour....

Thank you for posting....I just chuckled from the beginning to end..... xxxxxxxxxx

it's hilarious....real or not my hubby was reading this over my shoulder and grinning from ear to ear ..you've given him some ideas

He has done some wild things to embarrash me like leaving a puff of toxic mist and moving away silently in asda leaving me to face the wrath of this old couple telling me i was a disgrace and had no respect for other shoppers...@ him
another was ringing the tunes on the doorbells in B&Q and running round the aisle saying will you answer the door..also doing the highland fling in the city centre..the poor piper couldn't play for laughing

my 18 yr old son is a menace with embarrassing me ..he's an austin powers fanatic if i ask him if he likes something he replies with yeahhh mammmy yeah and dr evil's laugh especially out shopping and your not my friend and not my fellow DJ if he has a strop with me.

Thanks for sharing it ...it's made my day xxx

Funny thing is I used to work in the electrical dept in B&Q and by the end of my shift I used to be sick to death of people ringing those bloody door bells thinking it was funny!

It was funny the first few times it happen but by the end of a busy week it was no longer funny! Now I laugh about it though

i stopped him indoors from going to B&Q with me for a while till he behaved himself but it hasn't worked men eh!like kids with a new toy.