All The Things My Mother Taught me

JANEY K · **All The Things My Mother Taught me -** 27-07-08, 04:36 PM

Things my mother taught me

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE - "If you're going kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION - "You better pray that stain will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL - "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC: "Because I said so, that's why."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT - "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

My mother taught me IRONY - "Keep laughing and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS - "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM - "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA - "You'll sit there til all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER - "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS - "If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you; would you listen then?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY - "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times - Don't Exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION - "Stop acting like your father!"

slipperyangel · 27-07-08, 05:11 PM

Brilliant!
I was having a pants day until this made me giggle
Thanks
Stacy

ValencianNails · 27-07-08, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JANEY K

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE - "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

That's my personal favourite

s.mill · 27-07-08, 06:33 PM

Just brilliant!!!!!
The scary thing is that I use some of these on my kids

Bebeautiful · 27-07-08, 06:49 PM

You know what janey, that sums up everything, soooooo funny, and true and I love the way you have conveyed your message here's sending you a big hug and kiss

xxx (bit over the top, I know, that's me big heart etc)