Hi.
I now I don't post often but I read all your wonderful comments all the time.

I did not realise I would be posting this in here though.

My husband told me last night that he does not find me attractive any more because I am overweight.
I am devastated.

I Understand this has nothing to do with the industry but needed to say something and feel I can't tell anyone close to me as it Is so embarrassing to admit it to those who know me.

Thanks.
Nicky

Oh love that's just awful to hear. My ex said something similar and although we were at the point of breaking up it still hurt.

I think this probably runs dapper than that though, it usually does sweetheart. Don't be fooled into thinking this all comes down to your weight, sex/relationships/intimacy are very complicated matters and you two will have a lot to talk about to work though this.

Sending a big virtual hug and chin up my lovely.

Nomatter what anyone tells you you have to love yourself first, everything else follows xxxxx

I'm sorry to hear how's he's behaved, I've just found out ( 1 week ago) that my fiancé is on a dating web site with my friends husband!! He's accused me of so many things ( which I haven't done) so now I have to make a decision whether to leave him??
As long as you can stand in front of a long mirror and say you love yourself and have support from friends and family then you will be fine, he will lose out!! Lots of love xx

Oh Nicky how upsetting for you! You must feel pants right now...
You will have lots of things going through your mind, and prob question your marriage.

You have alot to think about and we here anytime for you.... Just take care sending you a hug xx 😢

Loulou I know how that feels from my 'ex' husband he had been on it years ! Hope you make the right decision for you - good luck a sending you a hug too xx 😥

Sorry to hear that ,well if he can't love youfor what you are physically,than he will never love youfor how you areinside ,i think if youlove someone truly looks size etc dont come into it
. Men are so self absorbed ,walk away with as much dignity as you can because if size makes or brakes it for him he is going to be a very lonely old man ,big hugs ,if you have a beautiful personality you will always be loved by the people that can see past the outside x:-)
Sent from my LT18i using SalonGeek

Hmm...that's what my ex did too.

Not wanting to hijack the original thread - far from it - but tbh that's what my ex fiancé was doing and as we broke up he said it was cos he didn't fancy me any more.

We had lots of discussions during which I explained intimacy/commitment is NOT purely down to how thin the woman is (!!) I'm the same size now that I've always been (16) and now in a very healthy relationship.

I think some men find it difficult to get to the heart if a problem, and rest on the aesthetics.

Not saying its the same for anyone else's fella but it's still most important that you know YOU are FABulous inside & out (and you are).

Hoping all you lovely ladies get the outcome you need. On a side note - Relate have some excellent help/resources on offer xx

Thank you for your lovely replies. The unfortunate he has hit the nail on the head as he knows that I do not like myself for the way I look. I work out minimum of four times a week but I am obviously not getting the food right as I still have a weight problem.

He reckons he loves me but cannot think of anything that he wants to do with me he just wants to be down the golf club 24/7 (allegedly).

We have 2 beautiful children but after 18 years of marriage that is obviously not enough.

He reckon he wants to stay together?!?!

Thanks for letting me air this on here.
Forwards and onwards.

Nicky

Men!! They can be so insensitive and at times very shallow. I can't really offer any advice but i just want to say that if that's you in your little pic then you're a very attractive lady. A few extra pounds should not alter the way a partner feels about you if they truly love you. Sending you a big hug of support and hope you get things sorted out xx

I still think the most important thing is you love yourself top to toe...and the rest will follow.

Now I know that's so easy to say, but I'm really willing you to focus on yourself (rather than trying to please him) and the rest falls into place. Men love confident women they just sometimes don't know that.

Keep airing on here if it helps. Big hugs xx

First of all you are lovely, and I'm sure you are feeling hurt, angry and confused.

It matters as to the context of how it was said. If in anger, then he has, perhaps, picked the thing that you feel sensitive about and put the knife in, rather than actually feeling that way.

If he really means it then in many ways it is his problem, inasmuch as he has a narrow and rather shallow idea of what being attractive is.

However, on the plus side, he has been able to be honest with you. He may have kept quiet, but he has expressed his feelings.

I hope that you can both work on this together.

BTW, dance classes are a great activity to do together.....

Oh sweetheart, as most of the above posters have said, my ex said the same to me for the last 3 yrs of our relationship. I'm 5'6 and was, at my biggest, a size 14, hardly morbidly obese!!! We've been separated 3 yrs and divorced for 1, in that time I've stayed at pretty much the same size, I'm happier in my skin, he on the other hand has piled in the weight and now looks like a watermelon walking around on a pair of cocktail sticks. Karma!!!
I'm not suggesting this is the end of your relationship, but I would sit down with your husband and talk about how he's made you feel. Men say things sometimes without realising how much it's going to hurt. If you're not happy with how you look maybe he could support you to get happy with yourself again.
Take care sweetheart xxx

Thank you for all your replies.
I understand that I need to think better of myself to be happy, but that is really hard when you are constantly being put down.
My husband is master of throwing something out there and then not discussing it after, so that is what he is doing today.

Fingers crossed this works itself out. Not sure I can be on my own.

Nicky x

Sending Big hugs to you! Don't let anyone ever make you feel anything less than beautiful! Maybe it's you who needs to do the decision making because if my other half said that to me, frankly I think I'd find him ugly! Do what makes you happy in your heart! You deserve the best xxx

Awww nicky sorry to say this but what a jackass he is. Your avatar is beautiful (thats you).... Silly man!

I think the laster poster is spot on lovely. Dont let him put you down ever, beauty comes from within as well as outside, think of that lovely next time you 'look' at him.

Chin up my lovely.

Love n hugs x x x