I have just had a bit of heated debate with my boyfriend about this.
He thinks its a good idea (even though he doesnt really have anything of any value except a mortgage hes only got last year)
We live in 'his' house together and I sold mine.. ALL contents and furniture are mine.. and if something breaks.. I ALONE BUY THE NEW ONE. Also I have a few quid put away from the sale and some ready for investing in another property.

We were talking on the subject of future and marriages and people that do this.. and that what time even if NOT married does 'common-law wife/husband' actually kick in? My dad seemed to think it was 2 years of co-habiting.

I told him that my mum ripped up the supposed pre nup agreement Dad produced and she laughed in his face but they still went and got married. Albeit they split and divorced after 8 years!

He seems to think this pre nup thing is a great idea.. where as I am a bit miffed to the reason behind this?
I know the obvious like security and looking out for yourself etc.. but I have more than him in theory so I cant see why he feels this way. Almost like he is scared I would take him for everything he has got in a way.
Also, whats the point of getting married in the first place if you're already taking procedures of an easy break up?? It just doesnt seem right.

Whats your views on this?
Has anyone actually done it?
How do you feel if you were asked?

My opinion: I haven't and wouldn't have done one. It doesn't speak very favourably about the relationship, it's almost as if you're saying the relationship WILL end at some point.

It also (imo) speaks of a lack of trust. If the worst were to come to the worst and a split was to happen I would like to think it wouldn't be so bad that amicable/rational decisions couldn't be made about who should get what.

At the end of the day whilst you are in the marriage/relationship you should be prepared to share all that you have, isn't that part of what it's all about?

My husband and I both have our own accounts into which our wages go and a joint account into which we both transfer the same amount of money for general bills.

Then I pay the mortgage (as I get paid more) and hubby pays for all the food shopping, car stuff and diy stuff. It has worked perfectly for us for the past 4 years that we've been married.

To conclude, prenups get the 'thumbs down' from me!

Hi,

I'm sorry to dissapoint you, but there is no such thing as "common law wife / husband"

I learned this the hard way a couple of years ago. I've been living with my partner for 7 years and am not entitled to anything even though I contribute to the mortgage, household bills, food, upkeep of house etc etc.

Because everthing is in his name, it belongs to him. I went to see 2 different solicitors because I didn't believe the first one and both told me the same thing.

The "you are entitled to xyz because you are a common-law wife / husband" is an "urban myth".

The solicitors told me that they are working on changing the law, but it would take years to come through.

The best thing you can do is talk to a solicitor and get a "Declaration of Trust" drawn up between the two of you. This is what I have now and it does give me some rights.


Marlise

Marlise is right - there is no common law wife/husband (I recall the rules being the same/different in Scotland).

Wives do great out of marriage, especially with the pensions

I think that if you have children, establishing something for them is important - you can't move in with a bloke who can then kick you out on your ear with a family to support, not to mention the emotional upheaval involved.... a declaration of trust sounds good to me.

As for a pre-nup. I don't believe in them to be honest, but fair is fair. llike anything in life.

If it came to it, I wouldn't want to walk away from my marriage with less than I went in with... but I wouldn't want to walk away coming off better than my husband... if that makes sense?! I wouldn't want to be screwed. And I wouldn't want to screw him, as he's my childrens dad.

A pre-nup is negative, but vital if you're a millionairre in my opinion - look at Heather Mills and Macca... she's gonna screw him big time...

Nobody I know has a pot to piss in when compared with Michael Douglas etc... and they are the only people who should bother with pre-nups.

Norman with his 2 bed semi in Peckham and his 3k ISA aint worth the paper a pre-nup is written on...

We dont have one and never would.

But I think they are a good idea for some relationships - like those who are well off or famous relationships. These tend to be the ones that turn nasty because of other people.

If the couple both agree to one, and it works for them then I am for it but I personally would have taken an axe to my husband if he had come to me with one.

If Steve came up with the idea of one I would want to know what he was hiding!

i wouldnt have a pre-nup either

its a case of

whats yours is mine and whats mine is MY OWN .........hahahahhahahaha

sorry couldnt resist

I have to say that in this day and age i think it's a good idea. For the majority of us it's probably not applicable but in exceptional circumstances when one partner is very wealthy or famous it seems the sensible thing to do. Many people have ulterior motives and do not marry out of love.

I have been married twice so not everything has been a bed of roses, but I do believe that if you don't go into a relationship with love and trust and believe it is going to last you didn't ought to be going into it at all.

If you're a regular man and woman prior to marrage then i see no reason for a pre-nup agreement.
It makes the marriage appear a sham before it's even got off the ground.

If my hubby asked for a pre-nup I'd laugh him off the face of the earth, not that he would cos we've been married for 17 years, but you get where I'm coming from.

OK, if you're a star and/or a celeb, fair enough, but honestly, how many people would actually demand this kind of agreement?

If I had millions in the bank then I might consider it, like Madonna, or J-Lo for example, but as a regular person with a regular income??? what's the point???

I can see why rich celebs do it, because they seem to be in and out of marriages like it's a fashion trend!

Personally I don't see the point in a pre-nup and I agree that it's as if you anticipate your marriage not to work or more so, you aticipate to not work at your marriage.

However, I'm not wealthy, so don't know how I would feel if my hubby to be had less wealth and I was dripping diamonds (yeah, in my dreams).

I can honestly say though, that my husband and I comfortably share a joint bank account and have done for our married lives of more than 16 years.

I just can't imagine it being any other way.

Rightly or wrongly ,when i get married i am putting all my faith in this man,a prenup to me is a lack of trust from the outset.

Maybe i would feel different if i were wealthy,but tbh i doubt it.

Marriage is a gamble anyway,yes you want it to work but there are no gaurentee's,jmo.

Chris and I would never have a pre-nup as it shows you don't expect the relationship to work.

I wouldn't want one either.

I know for a fact if we were to split after marriage he wouldn't let me walk away with nothing (even though he pays the mortgage and bills) because i'm the mother of his child and to screw me for a house, car, etc. would be evil and twisted.

I have no doubts about the two of us, about him leaving me, about him divorcing me and leaving me with nothing and if he ever did....I have the most precious thing...our child.

Thanks for lots of different views there..

I understand its totally called for if you are dead well off or so famous you cant walk down the street without a body guard.. but little old me? Nah.
Britney Spears needed one because look at Kevin Ferderline now.. he still is a nobody, but trying to get into that wrestling scene to make himself some money! LMAO
Did they have one? that couple is a perfect example. LOL

I find it offensive to be asked to sign one.. and like some of you would not agree to marry and laugh at him if he produced one.
At least I know hes not after me for my money I s'pose! LOL