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Really angry at the moment!! - 23-01-07, 12:16 PM

Some of you know the trouble that I have had with my oldest son, he will be 17 February 13th...Well since he has been back home he has been terribly disobediant.

My mom is in the hospital right now after her blood sugar dropped to 34 and she went into a diabetic coma, after I came home from seeing her my son asked if he could go out with his friend that stays in the building, I told him "yes, just make sure you are back at 10: pm." Mind you, this was at around 7: pm, it is now 6:11am and he has not shown up, he even took my phone with him to keep track of the time, the phone is not activated, but I use it to store my phone numbers in.

This is really getting to me, he has done this before and I am getting so sick and tired, the times in the past where he has done it he comes in with the lamest excuses and then when I tell him he is not allowed to go out anymore he throws a fit!

I have done the best that I could do to raise this child and I am so sick of the constant bickering and disrespect...I just don't know what to do anymore.

Last edited by Ms.Matrix; 23-01-07 at 12:31 PM. Reason: added age...
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23-01-07, 12:27 PM

You dont' mention how old your son is. I can only imagine that he is not very old.

Big hugs for you, hope things improve soon xxx
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23-01-07, 12:29 PM

Feeling for you. I hope he's ok and just being a typical lad trying it on! How old is he?
As you say banning him from going out completely is only going to make things worse by the sound of things.
Have you tried restricting his privelidges at home? If he can't behave well enough to be trusted, maybe you could try treating him like a child again. This really gets them mad. Removing the bedroom door, so they get no privacy works well, especially if they have younger siblings who are great at being intrusive & annoying.
Does he have a mobile of his own? Over here we have something called 'Pinging' your child. You can subscribe to this service, and if you want to know where they are, you call a special number or log onto a net page, and they locate your child by their mobile signal.
I think it's good as a safety thing if ever they went missing, or if you think they are up to no good.
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23-01-07, 12:30 PM

i just want to give you big hun

bringing up kids is so hard, its the hardest job in the world.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx
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23-01-07, 12:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkmummy View Post
Feeling for you. I hope he's ok and just being a typical lad trying it on! How old is he?
As you say banning him from going out completely is only going to make things worse by the sound of things.
Have you tried restricting his privelidges at home? If he can't behave well enough to be trusted, maybe you could try treating him like a child again. This really gets them mad. Removing the bedroom door, so they get no privacy works well, especially if they have younger siblings who are great at being intrusive & annoying.
Does he have a mobile of his own? Over here we have something called 'Pinging' your child. You can subscribe to this service, and if you want to know where they are, you call a special number or log onto a net page, and they locate your child by their mobile signal.
I think it's good as a safety thing if ever they went missing, or if you think they are up to no good.
Track a mobile phone using GSM tracking software - KidsOK child safety product
He is 17 and he doesn't have a cell phone...anymore, he brought one right after Christmas with some money his aunt gave him then a couple of weeks later he told me he gave it away, I don't know what I believe he did with it, but that was his story.
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23-01-07, 12:35 PM

I know how you feel hun, kids can be so hard on us sometimes, they just dont think about how their behaviour makes us feel-but I guess its just a part of growing up & finding themselves. I usually find going on strike works for me when they are taking advantage - no nice cooked dinners, clean clothes etc for a couple of days and they soon realise that they need to show a bit of respect to us too.
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23-01-07, 12:51 PM

Oh Yolanda I bet you are beside yourself with worry!

When he finally arrives instead of bickering with him (which is what I would want to do) try talking to him. Tell him how HE is making YOU feel.

Tell him that you are worried about your mom and his behaviour is certainly not helping, tell him you need support right now and you will not tolerate him being so irresponsible.

Lay down the rules and stick with them not matter how much he winges and whines don't give in to him. Tell him you need some help around the house and that he needs to prove that he can be trusted and then you will think about letting him out and until that time arrives he can stay in with you and help with chores etc.

I'm sure he will arrive back safely with his tail between his legs and hungry.

let us know how you get on. Big and God Bless.

i hope your mom is better soon!

teri x
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23-01-07, 12:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Garfield* View Post
I usually find going on strike works for me when they are taking advantage - no nice cooked dinners, clean clothes etc for a couple of days and they soon realise that they need to show a bit of respect to us too.
i like this idea...
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23-01-07, 12:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by *Garfield* View Post
I know how you feel hun, kids can be so hard on us sometimes, they just dont think about how their behaviour makes us feel-but I guess its just a part of growing up & finding themselves. I usually find going on strike works for me when they are taking advantage - no nice cooked dinners, clean clothes etc for a couple of days and they soon realise that they need to show a bit of respect to us too.
I like this idea too!
I think as has already been said, calmly talking and telling him how worried you are about everything else may make him think. I find with my 14yr old boy, if I can make him feel guilty about his behaviour, it's far more effective that yelling at him.
Hope things get easier for you soon. Love & 's to you.
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23-01-07, 01:07 PM

Aww hun I really feel for you, it must be such a worrying time when they get to this age... I always worry what my little boy (who is 3 now) will be like when he is a teenager. Big hugs for you, know they won't help much but all the same! xx
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23-01-07, 02:36 PM

Kids!!!!! They are such a worry hun, I've got a teenage son and everyday is a challenge as you don't know what it'll bring.
to you xxxxx
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****update**** - 23-01-07, 05:32 PM

Well guys....he never showed up at home, but he went to school this morning and got exspelled for 2 reasons, number 1 he was in a fight yesterday and busted a boy's nose and reason number 2 when he showed up in school he was drunk, and on top of that as if that wasn't enough I received a call from the hospital regarding my mom and the doctor is saying that he thinks it would be best to place her in a nursing home facility...

I'm so upset right now, I'm sitting here chain smoking like a chimney!!
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23-01-07, 05:36 PM

big ginormous 's
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23-01-07, 05:38 PM

Quote:
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big ginormous 's
Thanks...I need 'em right now!
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23-01-07, 05:48 PM

Sending you big hugs hun.
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