Last night my 6 year old daughter and i had a conversation at the dining table:


jess: 'mum.. will i have a boyfriend when i get older?'

me: 'yes darling, or you may have a girlfriend' (jess looks at me confused)

me:' well, you see, most girls like boys but then there are some girls who like girls - but theres nothing wrong with that'

jess: 'can girls and girls get married then?'

me: 'yes dear, they never used to, but now they can.'



this little conversation made me think... when i was young.. my mother never taught me things like that.. many topics were taboo and people who didnt fall into a 'normal' categories are considered as an outcast... it was never considered to be 'ok'...

times have definately moved on since then.. we now teach our children many things that we didnt dream to be taught about at their same age.. childrens opinions and views seem to differ so much from when we were a child...

take smoking for example.. when i was growing up.. smoking was looked upon as being the 'cool' thing to do.. nowadays.. my children are educated to believe that smoking - in short - can kill you... they are so anti-smoking that i even had to give up smoking myself to save face in front of them..

what do you teach or talk about with your children that you were never taught as a child..?

do you think we give them too much information too early these days..?

or do you think it is good that they have this information from young to prevent them ignorance later in life...??

topics such as race, culture, health, sex and discrimination.... do you bring up these subjects often..? or do you think it is beyond the understanding of a child..?

I believe that we do give our kids to much info way to early, but unforutantly it is a case of having to.. the world in general is a good place but there are some really bad people out there.. when i was young doors where left unlocked, no mobiles to contact anyone, these days we lock our houses with bolts and chains and children as young as 6 have mobiles.. if i had a choose i would not tell my kids half of what they know now but its a case of having too....

ie.. sexy education was not taught to us until you reach high school, in todays world it taught in year 4 i hope my 8yr old is not at it (as such) but because 1 or 2 children are they have to provide this information to all the 8yrs i think it is really wrong !!!

i understand what you mean...

i try to tell my children most things in life... but i only do it in a way that i think children will understand.. i use their talk and say things simply and to the point...

my daughter asks me where babies come from... i tell her that daddy has to plant a seed in mummy and then that seed grows into a baby.. she then asks me how that is done.. i tell her that i will let her know when she gets a little older...

i personally believe that ignorance is caused by the lack of education... so i try to tell them as much as i can using langauge suitable for their age...

I hate all this growing up to soon stuff....if i am asked a direct question then i will answer it honestly...but i don't just volunteer information that i don't think they are old enough to know or understand....however i can see that some kids are more mature than others.

My daughter (11)...had sex education at school last year....i wasn't to happy as i still think she is to young, she still thinks that mummy and daddy have a magic kiss and thats how babies are made, and the tooth fairy and Santa. (its just how we do things...not saying its right or wrong)....after hearing that she was to watch a video at school i was advised to have a little chat with her so that she wasn't upset by the video. So i told her a few bits (no need for details and i didn't go into to many with her)....she watched the video and came home saying "mum i don't think i can have babies"....i asked why and she said "cos they grown in your testicles and i don't have any"....she just wasn't ready, and it didn't sink in. Now this is partly my fault as i have tried to keep her innocence, but also she is just that kind of child....and i think that it should wait till they are at secondary school.

She has a simple book now just showing whats what on a man and a women....but i still hate it all.

I think that If your kids ask you a question, you should answer it honestly and treat their curiosity with respect. If you dont answer honestly then they are only going to either get themselves into trouble finding out the anwer for themselves, or live life dissillusioned and probably end up getting into some sort of strife through that lol.

Im no parent, im 22 for gods sake, i can only just look after myself, but they say curiosity killed the cat, so dont leave ur kids curious!!

so so true....

how many of us here dare to put our hands up that this is exactly what we did as a child teenager because our parents didnt fullfill our curiousity...???!!

my hand is up...

I completely agree, when my kids ask me something I tell them honestly, but in words that they understand, and I keep it simple. However, I wouldnt go telling them things unless they ask about it.

Me definitely my mom still turns over the telly if there is sex on it now and I'm 23! lol

These are toughies, for parents.

I know I'll be having a VERY hard time with it, because of my beliefs and opinions. I DO want my girls to have open minds HOWEVER.. in some instances.. I don't want them to be that open.

We were invited to my sister in laws wedding. She's gay. She wanted my daughter's (at the time, 2 & 4yrs old) to be part of the wedding and celebration. Aside from the fact we couldn't afford to attend, we wouldn't have gone anyway NOR permitted our daughters to attend. (Please note: we are VERY HAPPY for my sister in law. If she's happy in her life, we're happy for her.) I did not want my 4yr old asking questions I was not ready to answer, and nor did I feel that her impressionable young mind was ready to deal with neither the questions or the answers that would be associated with such an event.

Some questions, I answer in the simplest way possible, giving the least information. If they want more, then I give it to them. Simply. I don't give more than they ask for. Some information is simply too much for young minds, and they become overwhelmed by it all. In some cases, too much info can be a bad thing. In others, too little is dangerous.

We have to make judgement calls. And do the very best we can with the tools that we have.
We're not always right, and we're not always wrong. It's not black and white, it's rather grey. Every family is different, then add the characteristics of each child. How I might answer my eldest might not be the same way I answer my youngest.


In answer to:
In my case, it was a matter of knowing too much too soon and never having had a real childhood. I was a mini adult years before I should have been. Far too mature for my friends.. it was difficult. I made a lot of mistakes as a result.
It can go either way... too much info... too little...

It's finding the happy medium that's tough.

I think if you try and keep things from children it then becomes an issue.
Ive never kept anything from my children.Ive always just told the truth except maybe about santa and the tooth fairy.
Ive never hidden tampons and my son at 12 is well aware about what happens to his mum and sister once a month.
Their closest aunt is gay and they have always known about that and its never been an issue its just totally accepted.
Myself and their father are open to any of their questions and we discuss lots of things of that nature in an open and usually humorous way.
Ive never had to do the sit down i need to tell you about the birds and the bees talk, because its been a gradual thing whereby if they want to know they have been told and not fobbed off with stories about flowers and the like.
Once they go to school you can't protect them from it anyway.

My 9 year old daughter, asks me about everything, she hears something on the tv, or in the playground and then ask, usually when we've been talking about something completely different.

Just the other night I was washing her hair and we were chatting about our dogs and then she turned round and asked me what a virgin was ! Well I tried to keep the same tone and try and explain in it a way that she would understand without being too graphic. May I add there was much guffawing coming from the bedroom from my other half. I soon wiped the smile off his face, when I told him she had asked me what a period was, and I told her to ask her dad

Too true, not sure on Victoria's reasons, but my mum was a nurse. She told me everything in full medical terms. I get embarased talking about this stuff even now, think it stems back to my full blown childhood biology lessons. I think too much too young is a bad thing. I certainly wouldn't bring up something they hadn't asked about.
I also agree that somethings should be off limits to younger children, I banned my daughter from watching Eastenders when she was nine as the topic at the time was (I felt) unsuitable. I didn't feel like explaining to a 9 yr old why a grown man was blackmailing his sons girlfriend into sex.
I think as moral standards have declined on our televisions, so they have in real life. I try teach my children that will be many choices ahead of them, the hard thing is making the right one, no matter what their peers are doing.

children can be subjected to some pretty awful things on telly or even hear stuff at school, they arent really safe from it anywhere. no matter how mych you try to protect them.

I cant really remember much from when i was young, i cant really remember much from last week! lol. so i cannot comment on how i was brought up. But i dont think if i asked a question, it went unanswered.

And when i was younger i dont really think same sex relationships were as open to all eyes as they are now. In this case though, id just explain to my child that people are the same and it doesnt matter if your a man or a woman, we are all equal and you can fall in love with anybody. your sex doesnt make a difference to anything. and if barbie wants to be a plumber, or a mechanic or even marry another woman she can! lol.