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  (#1) Old
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Question Living next door to parents good or bad idea? - 24-06-07, 02:11 PM

the house next door to my parents is available and our tenancy is up at the end of this month, question is do we take it
would you? do you already, we're considering it, am i mad? we all get on well, babysitters next door would be good......
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24-06-07, 02:38 PM

I adore my mum-in-law. In fact I love her to bits and we have always got on extremely well. Yes, we have had our differences but agreed to disagree rather than get heated over our different points of view. She treats me like her daughter and I treat her like my mum and we feel very comfortable in eachothers company.

Would I want to live next door to her? I don't think so and not with any disrespect to her. I just don't think extended families should live so close to eachother, but this is just my personal opinion.

It really depends on one's culture (some families have very close living arrangements), circumstances and type of relationship. But in my opinion, when you get married and have a family, you leave your parents home to have one of your own and living next door to one's parents or in-laws is just too close for my comfort.

Having babysitters right next door is great, but I wouldn't base where I live on this. But then I have always lived far from family, so have never really needed to rely on this at all.
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24-06-07, 02:55 PM

I live over the road from my parents and that is quite close enough thank you !! Close enough to be handy for babysitting, but not so close they can hear me shouting at my kids lol!!!!
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24-06-07, 03:06 PM

I had a great relationship with my mother, she was a friend and my soulmate, when i was younger we lived next door to my grandparents and when i grew up i lived accross the road from my mom.

It worked for us, there was never any arguments, we stayed out of each others business but was there should we need each other.

Only you can decide if its the right move for you and your family. Weigh up the pro's and cons and make your decision, good luck
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24-06-07, 03:26 PM

OMG....BAD Idea!!
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24-06-07, 04:52 PM

I have lived next to my in laws for 21 years and its been a God send for me, if I need help of any kind they are right there. I have to say that both in laws are wonderful people they don't intrude or anything of the sort as a matter of fact I take my mother in law on holidays with me. I would be lost with out them, ever though we live so close we go days with out seeing each other.
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24-06-07, 07:03 PM

No way............as lovely as she may be, she'll know your every move. Bad idea.
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24-06-07, 07:09 PM

no way could i do it.... when i move out i wanna be as far away as possible. xx
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24-06-07, 07:23 PM

NNNnnnnooooooooooOOOOOOO!!!!! LOL

I'm sorry i could do i love my mum and dad dearly and they have always been there for me and i do ocassionally get on with my mother-in-law, but thats as far as it goe i like my distance and own space but also knowing they are not too far away if i need them, i'm sure they feel the same i think if i lived next door they'd be sick of us as i'd never have to cook again lol
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24-06-07, 08:10 PM

the difficulty is that there is a massive shortage of rentals where we are, we've been looking for the past two months and haven't found anywhere suitable, there have been 2 to choose form in that time, we've got to move out this week so were going to stay with the parents until we got something anyway, can't help thinking that moving in next door, (when its available in 6 weeks) would make it all alot easier, i suppose the 6 weeks all in the same house will be a good indication as to what it would be like, if we've all been driven mad in that time then we'll know next door is a bad idea!
thanks so much for your input guys, i've been asking everyone i know, all of the rest of our families, most of which who live in the same town, think its a great idea,watch this space i guess.........xxx
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24-06-07, 09:01 PM

Hi esther

No personal experience to quote but I do know a couple of people who have lived next door to parents and it works well for both parties, and someone else I know has bought a house with their parents to get more space. Also one of my neighbours has her mum living in an annexe to their main house.

Maybe it would be a good thing for both parties to have a think before hand and set a few boundaries at the outset to try and avoid problems later?

It does seem like the solution is being handed to you on a plate doesn't it ....

I know you must be giving it loads of thought, hope you reach the right decision for you hun and good luck xxx
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24-06-07, 09:29 PM

I couldn't think of anything worse personally!!

I love my mum and my dad but just woudn't want to live that close to them, I don't think they'd want me that close to them either.

What works for some doesn't for others, like you say the trial will be the six weeks that you spend with them but what you need to remember there is that you will ALL be living in the same house and that will be difficult and maybe not a true reflection on what it would be like as neighbours.

Good luck in whatever you decide!!

Teri x
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25-06-07, 02:05 PM

Living next to my mom or inlaws would be a pure nightmare for me.

First, either of them would be busybodies, sticking their noses in when unwanted.
THEN there would be the explanation of WHY they do NOT need keys to my house and WHY I dont want them just crossing the lawn whenever and barging in.

Yes, the convenience of sitters next door is nice.. but.. is the price too much?

Think of all the little quirks they have. The ones that annoy you. Could you stand it on a daily basis?

I ,for one, would SHOOT my father in law if he lived on the same block, never mind next door.
I love my MIL, and although I wish everyone could have the same one as I do.... well.. sometimes she's just too well meaning, and well... my kids are MY KIDS and I'll raise them as I see fit and prefer to not have interference by well-meaning busy-bodies. And I just know that if she were bored, she'd trot over and start mucking about my house, looking for things to do. Thanks, but I'll fold my own laundry the way that I like it and put it where I want it. Know what I mean?

Think long and hard on the convenience of having sitters near by. is the price too steep a price.

Good luck
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25-06-07, 02:24 PM

No matter how well you get on with your parents or in-laws, I don't think it's a good idea, JMO.
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25-06-07, 02:50 PM

My mum owns a lot of land 1 field away from her house and wants us to have it to build the 'house of our dreams' lol!

While this is a lovely thing for her to do, I just cant help feeling like she will want keys to our house, and will just come walking in whenever she feels like it!



Think we are going to go ahead with it in a few years time! Now if it was my mother-in-law then there is no way on earth I would want to live anyway near her, 5 miles away is far enough for me, any closer would be a nightmare! Lets just say she gets on my wick!! lol

At the end of the day hun its your descision, do you think you could handle it?

xx
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