Explaining death to a 6 year old

[beauty bits]

I sadly lost my dad 2 years ago, I explained fully to my oldest who was 4 at the time, he was very close to my dad. He asked questions and I done my best to answer truthfully. He's now 6 and has been playing up, grumpy and very emotional for no reason. Today he started to ask about his grandad again (very difficult questions) and was quite upset. It was like he was finally understanding that he was gone forever. He asked where his clothes had gone and I told him I have everything safe, he now wants to look at them. I'm a bit lost with how to help him accept what I thought he already had (silly as I don't think I will ever accept it). Has anyone one else had this with a young child? X

 

[PicklePie]

Maybe someone at school has recently lost grandparent or spoken about one and this has made him remember your dad. Is there any reason he can't see the things? Maybe you can look at photos together and talk about him to help your son work it out. When grief isn't dealt with it manifests itself in all kinds of unpleasant ways. Encouraging your son to talk about his feelings can only be a positive thing even if it is difficult or uncomfortable for you. Good luck

 

[suse82]

I have a client who lost her husband while she was 3 months pregnant and although it's not the same she has been advised by people who deal with these circumstances that the best thing to do is be truthful with the child. Her daughter is now 5 and she speaks about her father all the time. I think it's healthier for the mind.

 

[pure]

I think the only thing you can do is answer his questions honestly and talk about your dad often.

I lost my dad when my eldest was 8 and she was very close to him. She's now 24 and still misses him terribly but we talk about him all the time. My youngest children weren't even born when he passed away yet they know all about him, my house has bits and pieces of his all over he place and they too talk about him a lot even though they never met him.

There is no easy way to 'manage' death whether as a child or an adult, but being honest and open, and remembering him with joy is probably the best way to go. If you're very concerned about him you could also speak to his class teacher.

 

[Reidebot]

I had a similar situation. My five year old nephew (4 at the time) lost his cat. We told him about heaven and the rainbow bridge. Wevmade it sound like a nice place. About 2 months ago my sisters friend lost his sister to unknown reasons. Her heart just stopped. Anyway we sat my nephew down and said that the guy is really sad because his sister died. My nephew said "oh cool". I had to sit him down and explain that it was a very sad thing because he cant see his sister anymore. My nephew started crying. I asked what was wrong and he said "Puss (our dead cat) is dead. I can't see her anymore". It is hard but sugar coating sometimes makes is a little easier to help the kid ease into it.

 

[beauty bits]

Thank you for the replies, we've been taking it one day at a time. The school have also been very good and understanding and I think he's begining to understand a bit more now x

 

[sv1711]

My step son came to live with me in Feb as he mum died suddenly in her sleep, he was 6. We were very honest explaining g she won't be coming back but she lives in heaven now, he has lots
If pics of her and always talks
About her in a positive light. He sees the clouds and says mummy is up there living now and talks to her which he seems happy about, each child
Is different but talk
About it have pics around I've found help. Also send a ballon up on special occasions to heaven he liked that and helped him feel
He was communicating with her xx