Miscarriage + business + non understanding clients!

[redlottie13]

Hi all

Yesterday i suffered a miscarriage at 13 weeks!
Im distraught.... This is my second miscarriage in a row and have an op on thursday.
Today decided to let everyone on Facebook/ message know that i would be off for just over a week due to unforeseen circumstances. But will be working from my salon open day (27th feb)


Today ive had a message from the one client who's my ultimate fave
( i colour and do extensions for + her sister ,which equals over £240 worth of work)

Saying......shes going somewhere else and can i tell her what brand / colour and extensions i use?

Im massively pi**ed off! Does anyone feel like they are part owned by clients?! Why couldn't she wait one week??! Why aren't people understanding?

I had the same when my mum died- one client actually said "i don't come to you anymore as i find it awkward & don't know what to say"

Has anyone dealt with these things? If so how do you without ripping their face off?
What do i say to my clients...risk losing that money every month?

Sorry for the very personal rant guys im in tears! I hate humans sometimes xx

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Oh sweetheart. I am so sorry for your loss.

Yes some clients can be incredibly selfish and unsympathetic, but others honestly don't know they are doing it.

To them unforseen circumstances could be a leak or something rather than a personal tragedy.

You could reply to that client thst you use X brand but choose your colours to compliment her hair each time she comes in. If she would like an appointment next week you could give her 10% off as a thank you for understanding. She may just need it doing for a night out or something.

Take a deep breath and do your best to answer professionally, then go home and cry it out or rant to us here and your other half. I'm sure you're feeling it more because you're upset and angry from your miscarriage and you have a right to be.

Big hugs xx

 

[Multitasker]

Aww I really feel for you. Losing a baby is really hard. I've been through it and although it is early it feels like the end of the world.

The thing is though that your client doesn't know exactly what you are going through and because of that is just thinking she needs to get her hair done. Why don't you message her the details of her hair and say that as you are going into hospital if she wanted to wait till.... you would be happy to do her hair and it would be really nice to see her. She might have an important do and in the end will be back.
You are emotional already at the moment so don't let other people's lack of understanding (as they don't know) upset you more.

 

[redlottie13]

Thankyou ladies...this is the thing she's the only client i have Actually told! X

 

[Sallie ford]

My deepest sympathy
Firstly I wouldn't tell the client the colour or the brand you are within your right to hold that information especially if the tech is local to u and planning to do the job cheaper

Ppl need to have some compassion if the shoe was on the other foot u would have compassion and be very understanding we are not controlled by clients don't let them rule u!
Take a step bk and take a deep breath x

 

[Hairyclairey]

Thankyou ladies...this is the thing she's the only client i have Actually told! X

I'm so sorry for your loss ........I am literally disgusted you let client treated you like that when she knew the circumstances of you being off,

If you really don't want to loose her say you understand why she feels she needs to go to another hairdresser at this time however you hope she will return,
I wouldn't mention suppliers or colours! If she asks again I would then say say all hairdressers use different suppliers and colours so she may want to have a consultation first with the new hairdresser. ( so she can figure this out for herself!! )

Good luck for Thursday xx

 

[JanVenus]

There's such a lack of compassion and empathy in the world today, I'm so sorry for your loss. Unfortunately you seem damned if you do and damned if you don't here, either you give away a formula to a competitor - and risk losing your client - or you don't give her the information (because, seriously, wrong blooming time to bug someone for something like that!) and, also, risk losing her as a client.

Personally, I'd let her go. If I respected someone enough to divulge the details of my medical emergency and they completely, selfishly, put that to the side and asked for information so they could go to a competitor, I'd cut my losses. I'm big on mental health and self-care, she sounds like the kind of toxic people I've been systematically trying to cut out of my life.

 

[AcidPerm]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

You know what, I wouldn't even bother replying to the silly woman. Snuggle on your sofa or bed and imagine her face on the cushion and give it a good punch. Then forget about her.

Look after yourself and start putting your emotional needs first. Give yourself some time and space to recover from the awful shock. I hope the OP goes smoothly.

Huge hugs from me. xxxxx

 

[blossom]

So sorry for your loss ((hugs))

What sort of person kicks someone in the teeth like that? She knows the situation and is still only thinking about herself.

I think as AcidPerm says, ignore her. I wouldn't be welcoming her back either. Dreadful woman
Xx

 

[Flying Beauty]

Hi all

Yesterday i suffered a miscarriage at 13 weeks!
Im distraught.... This is my second miscarriage in a row and have an op on thursday.
Today decided to let everyone on Facebook/ message know that i would be off for just over a week due to unforeseen circumstances. But will be working from my salon open day (27th feb)


Today ive had a message from the one client who's my ultimate fave
( i colour and do extensions for + her sister ,which equals over £240 worth of work)

Saying......shes going somewhere else and can i tell her what brand / colour and extensions i use?

Im massively pi**ed off! Does anyone feel like they are part owned by clients?! Why couldn't she wait one week??! Why aren't people understanding?

I had the same when my mum died- one client actually said "i don't come to you anymore as i find it awkward & don't know what to say"

Has anyone dealt with these things? If so how do you without ripping their face off?
What do i say to my clients...risk losing that money every month?

Sorry for the very personal rant guys im in tears! I hate humans sometimes xx

So sorry to hear your news.

One of my best customers 'took off' when I went into hospital for surgery. It hurt as I really liked her and thought we were more like friends.
I've since learned that clients / customers must not be mistaken for friends.

I know how precious your business is to you but in the great scheme of things she's just one customer.
shes not important to your life and well being. She can be replaced.

You, your health and your future is what is important right now.

Ignore her and put your energy into those people who care about you and healing yourself.

Ps. I had a client ask me for a similar info because she couldn't make any of my slots over Xmas so she decided to go elsewhere but wanted a pic of her lashes to show the new lash tech. Needless to say I decided to exercise my right not to reply. She came back in the new year as the new lash techs she had been to had not done a good enough job.

Good luck to you xxxxx

 

[Annabel123]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Agree with all the above, she sounds a horrible selfish person and I wouldn't want her as a client anymore. It's flipping hair at the end of the day, her waiting one week wouldn't of done her any harm what so ever. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxx

 

[LittleGem81]

Just want to say that I too have recently suffered a miscarriage so I know exactly how you feel and send big hugs.

In terms of this client, I wouldn't reply back to her. How cold hearted of her to ask for those details knowing full well why you're going to be off for a while.

 

[Nettic]

Big hugs too you and your other half.
Clients are selfish at times lovely, I would not allow her too personally get too you, she has no feelings towards you so don't waste any on her.
I would reply and say I'm really sorry but your best too have a consultation with your new hair stylist/tech as everyone's choices maybe different. Sorry if I can't be of any more use too you.
Then don't waste anymore of your energy thinking about her.
Xxxxx

 

[GD BG]

people are like that. sometimes, they don't care about feelings of others.

you got two options. either inform her what is the reason. or just let her go.
there will be more people who would want to be at your salon.

 

[daydreams01]

So sorry to hear your sad news. Have been through similar and it's so hard cos you don't want to broadcast your personal stuff but it's difficult cos clients do seem to expect you to be at their beck and call. This client sounds selfish. fair enough she might want her hair done urgently and not prepared to wait but still could have been a bit kinder to you seeing as you had told her why you were cancelling.
Try to rest and recover, your health is far more important. You deserve much nicer clients than her and when she decides to get back in touch with you for an appt in the future which she probably will do, be either too busy or put you prices up and I wouldn't give any info about her colours, if she badgers you just take a while to reply then say as you know, I have been in hospital having treatment so not been able to respond to messages, hope you got it sorted. And hope all goes well for you, take care xxx

 

[littlekate]

I'm so sorry for your loss. People are strange sometimes. I had a stillborn last year and have found some clients have avoided coming back to me as I think they don't know what to say which makes things harder to deal with. Baby loss is so unspoken about which makes it so hard for the people going through it and that makes me sad. People just don't know how to react but all I wanted is for people to just be normal to me. I have learnt to focus on my own health and happiness and know that I will get new clients and all will be ok. I agree with others that you should let this client go and focus on yourself. Sometimes you just have to do what you need to do for your own wellbeing. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxxx

 

[redlottie13]

I'm so sorry for your loss. People are strange sometimes. I had a stillborn last year and have found some clients have avoided coming back to me as I think they don't know what to say which makes things harder to deal with. Baby loss is so unspoken about which makes it so hard for the people going through it and that makes me sad. People just don't know how to react but all I wanted is for people to just be normal to me. I have learnt to focus on my own health and happiness and know that I will get new clients and all will be ok. I agree with others that you should let this client go and focus on yourself. Sometimes you just have to do what you need to do for your own wellbeing. Sending you lots of love and hugs xxxx

I'm so sorry for your loss! It's weird isn't it ....When you go through something really heartbreaking all you crave is normality! If a client tells me something difficult...I've started to ask "ok now if you want to talk about it im a very good listener but if you don't want to I understand ....we can talk crap....I'm extremely good at that!!"
A client recently text & told me that it really helped her....she hadn't laughed that much in ages ( I told her about my tragic years of dating as*holes.....Enough to make anyone fall off their chair to be honest!)

Xx

 

[sammi010]

I am so sorry for your loss.

Everything hurts more when you are hurting. Personally I would ignore her request.

The cold heartedness of some people never ceases to amaze me. Even if it is a matter of great urgency she gets her hair done I can't believe she's had the cheek to ask you those details, especially knowing the circumstances. At the beginning of the year I was in hospital with pregnancy complications and had a client, who knew the full circumstances, messaging me constantly about a chipped nail, even asking if I could call in on the way back from hospital.

Concentrate on you for the time being not people that don't deserve a second thought xxx

 

[bloomingnails]

I'm so sorry to hear this.

You know what, I wouldn't even bother replying to the silly woman. Snuggle on your sofa or bed and imagine her face on the cushion and give it a good punch. Then forget about her.

Look after yourself and start putting your emotional needs first. Give yourself some time and space to recover from the awful shock. I hope the OP goes smoothly.

Huge hugs from me. xxxxx

Spot on AcidPerm

I have lost 3 in row so I know what you're going through. Let her go elsewhere, and certainly don't give her the information she wants!

What a cretin!

Best wishes honey xx [emoji8]

 

[jense80]

Sorry to hear of your loss [emoji174]it's something that never fails to amaze doing the job we do, we are a sounding board for everybody and take on everyone's hard times, happy times,
People being rude and quite literally bending over backwards for our clients. I hate doing this job sometimes as you have a handful of clients that are genuine and ask how you are and actually mean it, unfortunately most see you as someone that couldn't possibly have a life outside of that beauty room. The job can be very superficial, I have had one client for the last 8 years who I kid you not Has NEVER asked me one question! To the point if I mention something about my life there is a very uncomfortable pause[emoji23]saying this I have my clients that I love on a personal level and really enjoy them coming in, but you can never take it for gospel that someone won't get the hump that you are not conforming to the bracket they put you in ( paying you to do a job) I would suggest at this time, you do not text back as you are going through a grieving process and " you are not at work" you wouldn't expect your boss to ring you in hospital and sort out work if you worked in an office so it is your choice not to reply to this client. Best of wishes to you in the future and stop worrying about work and take time to heal xxx