A Really Unhappy Geek Today....pls Help!

[gemmamarie]

Hello my fellow geekers
Hope you are all well:!:

I have a real dilemma and need some advice!!!!!! I have a problem that is making me really unhappy:irked:
As my mobile beauty business is only small at the moment, I had to take on 2 other jobs at the beginning of the year to make ends meet. One of the jobs I love and am there for 10 hrs a week and the other I hate and am there for 17 hrs a week. The one I hate has been getting more and more awful, as its full of bitchiness and back stabbing all the time.I really have not got time for this in my life and am not that type of person anyway.

To add to all this one of the people started an affair with someone else and because I didnt get on that well with one of these people I now seem to have a war with them both. I stood up and said how I felt but it has done me no good at all! We have had a bit of a shut down within the company due to builders work and are due to go back on Thursday. During this close down period I thought I would write a nice letter to my boss and asked if i could meet her and maybe we could disscuss some solutions to this (as i was dwelling on this and it was making me very miserable) She did not reply to me at all, not even to say that she had acknowledged the letter:irked: So I was left for 3 weeks feeling a bit unhappy about the situation.

Anyway she has rang today to say what time we need to be in this week and she came across quite stern with me. She said we needed to get together and have a talk as she was not going too put up with someone upsetting the team. (obviously meaning me as I spoke out) The problem is the other two involved are in love so they are going to stick by eachother and the rest of them just side with whoever is there at the time. I feel extremely hurt and unhappy and have been in tears nearly all day:cry:

I really dont want to go back but my partner says I have got too as I dont bring in enough money with the other two jobs. I have a couple of long term illnesses and I am starting to feel that this situation is not helping me. I just want out. Dont care if I ent got enough money, I want out!!
What would you do?, I also feel that If I dont go back I can say to myself right thats it now I really need to go and get some clients, where as before it was a half hearted attempt as I was so busy.
Please let me know your views on the matter xxxxx:hug:

 

[ladybgemini]

No advise as such hun but have a hug from me xxxxxx I hope it all turns out for you x

 

[fificharlie]

Hey chick.

Life is too short to put up with feeling miserable over a part time job. I would get out there and see what else is on offer on a part time basis, and also do try and get some more clients at the same time, if its guaranteed income you need, deffo look for another part time job.

As for your partner, I'd tell him to bugger off! Does he know how unhappy your situation is making you?

You could stay at the job you dislike untill you have another to go to, that way each day wont seem as bad as you know in your head that you are actively looking and you know as soon as something comes along, you can stick two fingers up and say 'Bye!'

Its all about coping with your current situation, dont think of it as a problem, think of it as a situation, and you CAN change a situation.

Can you up your hours at your other job?

I know what its like to be made to feel like you have, and its not nice at all. Dreading going to work is the most awful thing ever.

Good luck hun, I really cross my fingers that you will find another job where you can be happy. :hug::hug:

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Okay I've been in a similar situation to you. Being in a job I hated. I would wake up every morning with a knot in my stomach and crying because I didn't want to go to work. I was there for 2 months when I handed in my notice.

BTW I handed my notice in with no other job to go to, a mortgage and two children ... and no partner to support me at all. It was how I got into nails and I love my job. Even though the pay has never been as good, and I can't buy all the designer clobber and fancy food from M&S etc that I used to get I am so happy with my life since. I realised that I have one short life and I should make the most of it ... and to this day, with the exception a few rather large hurdles put in along the way, I have!

Good luck, life's too short to be unhappy :hug::hug:

 

[gemmamarie]

Hey chick.

Life is too short to put up with feeling miserable over a part time job. I would get out there and see what else is on offer on a part time basis, and also do try and get some more clients at the same time, if its guaranteed income you need, deffo look for another part time job.

As for your partner, I'd tell him to bugger off! Does he know how unhappy your situation is making you?

You could stay at the job you dislike untill you have another to go to, that way each day wont seem as bad as you know in your head that you are actively looking and you know as soon as something comes along, you can stick two fingers up and say 'Bye!'

Its all about coping with your current situation, dont think of it as a problem, think of it as a situation, and you CAN change a situation.

Can you up your hours at your other job?

I know what its like to be made to feel like you have, and its not nice at all. Dreading going to work is the most awful thing ever.

Good luck hun, I really cross my fingers that you will find another job where you can be happy. :hug::hug:

Thankyou soooooooo much, your advice has made me laugh and cheered me a bit, even stopped bloody crying!
My partner is not very supportive in anything, so maybe I should tell him to bugger off!

Thankyou Ladybgemini for your kind hugs too xxx

 

[gemmamarie]

Okay I've been in a similar situation to you. Being in a job I hated. I would wake up every morning with a knot in my stomach and crying because I didn't want to go to work. I was there for 2 months when I handed in my notice.

BTW I handed my notice in with no other job to go to, a mortgage and two children ... and no partner to support me at all. It was how I got into nails and I love my job. Even though the pay has never been as good, and I can't buy all the designer clobber and fancy food from M&S etc that I used to get I am so happy with my life since. I realised that I have one short life and I should make the most of it ... and to this day, with the exception a few rather large hurdles put in along the way, I have!

Good luck, life's too short to be unhappy :hug::hug:

Thankyou so much Sassy, xx
I truly appreciate your advice, I agree life is too short and I am going to have a real good think about things 2nite xxxxx:hug:

 

[Chameleon]

I agree with Fificharlie,your partner should be supportive,after all your health is the most important thing here,together with your happiness...tell HIM to get another job...LMAO:lol:

Anyway,take it from me(i get stressed at the best of times),its not worth the hassle:hug::hug:

 

[fifitrix]

Hi, I have been in your position before of dreading going to work and I was making myself ill over it. No job is worth that, ever. The job I had before going mobile was part time and when the company got taken over I decided to go for it and start my business properly.

It is not easy when you are used to wage being there but if you have to go through misery to get it then that is definitely not worth it. I hope you make the right decision for YOU and not to please anyone else. At the end of the day you have to be happy and you health is too important hun.

Good luck with what you decide to do :hug::hug:

 

[San]

Oh poor you it must be awful. I would definately not go back and would concentrate on trying to build up your business. Perhaps you could do a search in the threads for marketing your business, I'm sure there is loads of advice there.

When I was starting out I put an ad in the local magazine that goes out to all our villages in the area offering nail extensions or a luxury manicure for £5!! Now, I know that sounds like working your socks off for nothing but it really was that start of my success. I restricted it to one weekend where I was booked solidly the whole sat and sun but I got so much repeat business and now have loads of loyal clients who return every two weeks.

Perhaps you could try this and then when they are there try and entice them with an offer like book 3 facials get one half price or something. There are loads of things you could do, you just need a bit of imagination and positivity.

Good luck hun x

 

[mercedes69]

Oh what a shame...I really don't think you should be in a job you hate...
There are folks who just hate their job because they hate going to work...but this sounds very uncomfortable for you...

Hubby needs a good slap...:smack: He should want a happy wife....

I think you actually answered your own question....without this job you could concentrate on your business.... show hubby all you are doing to try and generate more clients...if all else fails just hold back on his 'just desserts' for a few months... When I want something it works for me lol...

I hope things work out for you...a new day...a new beginning...

:hug: for you... hope everything turns out okay for you soon xxxx

 

[Bluetiger]

I have just recently been in exactly the same position. My 'new dream job' turned into the nightmare from hell! I wasn't sleeping at night for worry and when I did sleep I was waking up every five minutes checking the clock to see how much time I had before I had to get up and go back to hell...I suffered, my kids suffered and my hubby suffered. I lasted just short of a month and one day got up and realised that enough was enough...I went on the sick for a week and then decided that I wasn't going back. I was lucky in that my hubby stood by me, or rather he was the one that made the decision I wasn't going back at all! Now that was a full time job so the missing wage was alot to walk away from...but it gave me something priceless - and that was the time to go out and find another job. I have, and am now in my second week of my new job and so far so good! It's alot closer to home and better pay (when you take out the added fuel and extra childcare I no longer have to pay out!). It was an incredibly hard decision to make but if I hadn't, I'd still be stuck there - or worse!!

If it is only 17 hours a week then surely the wages wont be missed as much? For your own sanity and health hun I would tell them where to shove it! Particularly as you have tried to sort things out and they have been ignored or perhaps made a bad situation worse.

Your hubby needs a kick up the butt! He needs to support you, he deserves a slap!!

You are the most important person to yourself and surely you deserve a little more respect FROM YOURSELF than to allow yourself to be treated like this.

I know it's hard hun, but you need to be strong and get the hell out of there!!!

 

[miyamoo]

Dont mean to sound preaching,,,,

BUT life is too short, if u are soooooooo unhappy make a choice an get out,,, u have morals, even if others dont, But still its actually none of your business,, !!!!!!!!!

 

[gemmamarie]

Thankyou thankyou thankyou guys for all your brilliant advice I am sat on my own tonight as I want to have a good think about everything, so i am up in the spare room geeking,smoking and drinking tea. I think I have more or less come to a decision now,and when its firm in my mind there will be no changing it and I can tell my partner. I will let you all know.
Thanx guys, dont know what I would do without you all. your all fab

 

[oey]

Hun - I have been exactly where you are now and I know how hard it is to do something about it. You will come out the other side.

:hug:

 

[Rose143]

Hi Honey :hug:

The geeks are right in what they say ... life is far too short ... I believe this with all my heart!

I have been through so much and I know we're all different but I found that when I was unhappy in my past jobs, I was always sick. I didn't have the energy I needed and started hating life itself. So what I did was, I made myself a promise one day ... I PROMISE I WILL ONLY DO THINGS THAT I WANT TO DO! I resigned and did my own thing and gave it my all!

Why force yourself and make yourself more unhappy, do what you feel is right and by doing that you will give your all, be very happy, feel satisfied in what you've accomplished and live your life with no regrets.

I know most people will think this attitude towards life seems irresponsible and impractical but it works, happy people live better and fulfilled lives.

I'm not saying you don't do your best ... just do your best in doing what you love and no matter what comes your way, you will always do well. You just need to persevere.

Hope this helps somehow :hug:

P.S. And everyone that loves you will support you no matter what!

xxxx

 

[bunnymad]

Hiya

I have been in your situation so many times and my heart goes out to you.

Please think really carefully about how much the money you make in this job is worth, versus your health, happiness and sanity.

I had been in job,after job, after job, each time thinking that I had finally reached where I had wanted to be, but each time being so disappointed and so upset by my circumstances that I ended up crying on my way to work and crying on my way back, sometimes even having a little cry in the loos at work too!

I ended up being signed off work for several months after having a breakdown, everything just built up (though there were other things as well). This really brought things home to me and I handed in my notice during this period. Eventually, I decided to do something I really wanted to do - train in nails, and honestly, I haven't looked back. Life is too short and your health is too precious.

Good luck with whatever decision you make and please keep us posted!

 

[gemmamarie]

Dont mean to sound preaching,,,,

BUT life is too short, if u are soooooooo unhappy make a choice an get out,,, u have morals, even if others dont, But still its actually none of your business,, !!!!!!!!!

hi there miyamoo

I just thought that I would say that I am not falling out with the two people because they are having an affair! Im not that shallow, honest! thats their business. I was just saying that now they are a couple i have 2 against me not just the 1, as they now obviously support eachother. sorry if I didnt explain properly xx

 

[gemmamarie]

Hiya

I have been in your situation so many times and my heart goes out to you.

Please think really carefully about how much the money you make in this job is worth, versus your health, happiness and sanity.

I had been in job,after job, after job, each time thinking that I had finally reached where I had wanted to be, but each time being so disappointed and so upset by my circumstances that I ended up crying on my way to work and crying on my way back, sometimes even having a little cry in the loos at work too!

I ended up being signed off work for several months after having a breakdown, everything just built up (though there were other things as well). This really brought things home to me and I handed in my notice during this period. Eventually, I decided to do something I really wanted to do - train in nails, and honestly, I haven't looked back. Life is too short and your health is too precious.

Good luck with whatever decision you make and please keep us posted!

I am so sorry that this happend to you hun:hug:
but I am glad that you have found something now thats right for you xx
I too suffered a breakdown in the past and I am sure that it has all been related to not doing as I have wanted in my life xx
Thankyou for your great advice xx

 

[Trendy Talons]

You poor babe!

Have a little listen,

Have had my own salon for last three years, not going bankrupt but managing to attract the completely wrong staff again and again and basically being frantic all the time. Being stuck to a 3-year lease (yikes) and even though being proud of being a 'business woman' not really being happy!

Then my mate (mobile beauty girl-24 and a business brain to be scared off) said: 'do you realise that if you get rid of the shop you can stick the rent/rates in your own pocket?'

I made the decision, and next thing I get a really fab job offer and I have joined Virgin Vie as a consultant!!! Hon, things will look up for you soon!!!!
(hint: if you, in your situation of needing cash, join this month you don't pay for your kit! First £500.00 in sales are without commission but at least kit is for free!!! Once you start parties, women will see your nails and you will get extra business out of that!!! Think about it! Doesn't cost you a penny to try and it might help your mobile nail business! and please no-one accuse me of canvassing now!!!!)
Will still see to my regular girls so all will be happy...


Am annoyed (from a far) at your partner, but playing the devil's advocate he might not really understand how s***ty you are feeling??? He is a man after all...:Grope:
And that didn't sound like a Dutch feminist at all.....I really am not!!



Moral of the story? I was ready to contract an ulcer with worry!!! And I will be fine!!!!
Can you get a job in PC World, Tesco? That would at least pay the bills while you get your head sorted? Stuff that stupid job with those d**k heads!!!!!

Enough waffle now!

Huge hug!!!!!!
xx
Christel:hug:

 

[gemmamarie]

You poor babe!

Have a little listen,

Have had my own salon for last three years, not going bankrupt but managing to attract the completely wrong staff again and again and basically being frantic all the time. Being stuck to a 3-year lease (yikes) and even though being proud of being a 'business woman' not really being happy!

Then my mate (mobile beauty girl-24 and a business brain to be scared off) said: 'do you realise that if you get rid of the shop you can stick the rent/rates in your own pocket?'

I made the decision, and next thing I get a really fab job offer and I have joined Virgin Vie as a consultant!!! Hon, things will look up for you soon!!!!
(hint: if you, in your situation of needing cash, join this month you don't pay for your kit! First £500.00 in sales are without commission but at least kit is for free!!! Once you start parties, women will see your nails and you will get extra business out of that!!! Think about it! Doesn't cost you a penny to try and it might help your mobile nail business! and please no-one accuse me of canvassing now!!!!)
Will still see to my regular girls so all will be happy...


Am annoyed (from a far) at your partner, but playing the devil's advocate he might not really understand how s***ty you are feeling??? He is a man after all...:Grope:
And that didn't sound like a Dutch feminist at all.....I really am not!!



Moral of the story? I was ready to contract an ulcer with worry!!! And I will be fine!!!!
Can you get a job in PC World, Tesco? That would at least pay the bills while you get your head sorted? Stuff that stupid job with those d**k heads!!!!!

Enough waffle now!

Huge hug!!!!!!
xx
Christel:hug:

thankyou for your advice:hug:
I have PM ed you about Virgin Vie xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx