AAAaaarrrggggggghhh!! When will it end????

[shellpink]

I have two children, 2 & 7 years and recently(last 3 months) every nights the same, my 7 year old daughter wont go to bed cause shes scared, then I spend all night gitting up and down to the pair of them like a yo yo!! someone's coughing/ill ,wanting the toilet, scared, wants a drink,crying,wants a dummy,had a bad dream, I am at my wits end with it, sometimes I'm soo desperate I sleep in my daughters bed so she can sleep with her dad and doesn't keep waking me up, my husband sleeps like a log and gets up if I nudge him but he takes ages to get up and is a bit noisy!! I am sick of feeling tired and grumpy and wonder if I'll ever feel like I've had a good nights sleep:zzz:..................
Would someone PLEASE till me there is an end in sight! Thanks for letting me rant x

 

[Bagpuss]

i know its hard when they are little like this, but the best and most honest advise i can give you is...get tough.

If they have had a drink and wee before bed then they don't need another....during the day ask the one that gets scared what she is scared off....maybe have a night light if its the dark she doesn't like.....choose a teddy ect.....never have these discussions at bedtime. If you do that they will see it as yet another way to keep you there.

Have the same routine everynight....wash, teeth, pee and bed.

Bedtime is bedtime...no messing. In bed, tuck in, kiss and you walk out. everything they shout you for after that is a NO....they are safe and no harm will come to them...just be firm and say NO, its bedtime, goodnight......no lengthy discussions.

They will moan and winge for about 7-10 days...but stick with it and no bed swapping !!!...they will soon adjust to there routine and realise that shouting downstairs will get them no where.

They are playing a game with you and you are playing back...shout mum, mum comes, shout mum, mum comes...:lol:.....stop playing there game....and they will see its no fun.


Best of luck xx

 

[shellpink]

My daughter goes through these stages, this time its been going on since october, I know exactly what it is.... she thinks someone may be in the house and will take her( bought on from the poor madeliene disapearance) we have tried EVERYTHING, we have to go around before bed checking everywhere! she asks in the night for me to put on the light and check her room etc, I know it must be horrible for her............ I just hope she grows out of it SOON!.......... thanks for advice x

 

[Coppertop]

I agree with Angie on this one.

It will be really hard to change things now but if you work hard at it for a few weeks you will benefit in the long run.
We do a bedtime run, bath, cuddles, supper, cuddles, toilet, cuddles, 5 minutes to settle them both into bed, sleep!!!!
Jack also went through a stage of being scared of nothing, we bought him a night lamp thing and to be honest it didn't make anything better, just deal with what is scary. He was scared of nothing at all, just pushing the bounderies.
Try a reward chart and then one a week have a treat evening like painting, movie, whatever the kids like to do. Make a big deal when they do start to let you chill.

Good luck hun :hug:

 

[talontastic]

I agree getting tough does work.

My son is 8 now, in the past he has had night-mares I invented a magic blanket - like the towel in 'Hitch hikers guide to the galaxy' that keeps him safe!! Mad I know, but worked for me!!

Its hard when they're young, it does gets easier as they get older. Mind you the problems are still there they just change!! Solve one thing then theres another one to challenge us.

Hth Julie

 

[Bagpuss]

bless her....

at 7 she will understand if you explain that mummy and daddy are at home, downstairs so she is safe...maddy was left alone...(thats not a dig at them BTW, but she was).

again...always have the talks in the day....never at night.

 

[Coppertop]

we have to go around before bed checking everywhere! she asks in the night for me to put on the light and check her room etc, I know it must be horrible for her............ I just hope she grows out of it SOON!.......... thanks for advice x

If you go round the room checking it's like saying to her, "Well i will check cos there might be someone there!"
Try not to do this but to comfort her by talking about her fear, that you and her daddy make sure she is safe and that your home is safe cos you lock all the doors and no nasty people will ever come in. Something like that.
Poor thing eh. If she is sensitive to bad news try to avoid her hearing stuff like the Maddie case.
HTHs.

 

[shellpink]

I know, at the time you couldn't get away from the story!! also you never know what the children at school say either! We comfort her, love her, she knows all that, but nothing changes! maybe I should be tougher but its hard if she looks close to tears, also when shes faffing around in the night I think 'oh no shes gona wake up her little brother and he'll be awake then too!) I think Im feeding it by letting her come down in the evening to fall asleep, her dad thinks she shouldn't. I think tonight I will NOT let her come down! tough love x

 

[Bagpuss]

He is right...she will keep doing this if she knows she gets to come down stairs.

It is touch love and it is hard when they look at you with wet eyes....but it's for there own good, and yours. You need your me time and your sleep..xx

 

[talontastic]

The news on telly can be quite distressing and kids often dont understand the issues being discussed. My daughter (10) was quite upset by the Maddie disappearance and we talked about it quite a bit.

Julie

 

[Bagpuss]

I am quite blasé with the kids about news on the tv....if they see me upset, distressed and worried about something then they tend to be. So i play things down with them...bit like when they fall over....if you run over going OMG poor baby are you alright, let me see, does it hurt.....they get all upset cos you are giving the "worry" signals out. If however you just go "ohh dear , up you get, rub it better , off you go"....they are fine.

 

[shellpink]

LOL, Yes my mom does that all the time, that is a good way to carry on I think

 

[sj1973]

i agree with angie on this....she is upset by maddie but you tell her she was left on her own (no dig from me btw)......get tough...get into a routine thats what kids love best...your girl knows if she crys mummy will see to her....it wont take long before your children go to bed and settle...thats what you want and thats what they need....tough routine and stick to it...good luck x

 

[Coppertop]

Good luck with tonight hun, try a routine and stick to your guns.
Another trick i used to do with the twins was talking about why it is important to sleep, how your brain is like a computer and it puts everything you have learnt at nursery/school during the day into the right files and how you grow tall and strong during the night, but this only happens when you are fast asleep. It does work if it sounds like a fun game, i know your little girl is 7 but just try anything. I mean i even got Jack to eat cabbage cos i said it will make him run faster, got him to run before he ate it, said it was ok running, ha, then got him to run afterwards and said he was so fast i could harldy see him, lol. The things i have done would make you laugh but hey, he still eats cabbage now.

 

[shellpink]

LOL thats so sweet and funny...... you've all given me great advise and I know your all right really, I just needed to know we're not being mean!

 

[Coppertop]

LOL thats so sweet and funny...... you've all given me great advise and I know your all right really, I just needed to know we're not being mean!

You're not being mean, you're being a good mum :lol:

 

[hayls]

i know its hard when they are little like this, but the best and most honest advise i can give you is...get tough.

I agree, get tough!
My little boy had nightmares, and the health visitor suggested we talked about what they were scared of and try to draw it, he was only 3 at the time so it wasnt a Van Gogh or anything lol, but then she said to put it into the fire and comfort them with the knowledge that now we have got rid of the scary thing, there will be no more nightmares!
It worked for him, worth a try!?
xxxxx

 

[JessieBee]

I used to find a little cup of kids chocolate Ovaltine and a bit off lavender just before bed would help my kids sleep.
As for the nightmares and stuff (this may sound like a stupid idea) but have you got an old teddy that you had as a kid (or maybe you could buy one and add a little white lie saying that it's old), give it to her and tell her something along the lines of " this is so and so and he used to look after me when I was little and I'm gonna give him to you to look after you"? Or something to that effect. Maybe a stupid idea lol.

My girls are now 10 and 6 (nearly 7) keep eachother up for what seems like all night so now I just go up there, turn their light off (they scream) and tell them if I hear them talking they're grounded for the rest of the year! :twisted:I'm horrible. The Ovaltine thing did work though when they were younger but I think I let them get away with too much as they get older, so yes, as everybody has already said nip it in the bud.
Not only for the kids sake but for yours too, you have to have "adult time" just you and your other half.

 

[estherlou]

believe me i know how you feel, mine are 5, 3 and one, the one year ols stop sleeping in our bed about 3 weeks ago..bliss! but now the 5 and 3 year olds take turns for, 'i'm thirsty/hungry/had a bad dream' and most recently which made me wet myself laughing at three in the morning,
'i can't sleep theres a scary Tinky Winky under the bed!' :lol: