Advice please, client's mum on warpath

[mollie1985]

Hello all please before anyone comments this post is about a client that had an abortion and I don't want it to turn into a debate about that subject.

Basically a client of mine who is 19 had an abortion few weeks ago she told me at the time she was having one as she just broke down and felt she had nobody to speak to(I have done her and her mums hair for about 7 years) anyway I just said to her it's obviously her decision and I said could she not speak to her mum and she said no way as her mum wouldn't understand so her and her boyfriend both agreed they were not ready, anyway her mum has txt me earlier saying how her daughter has just told her and that only me and one other person knew and that she can't believe I didn't contact her etc I replied saying I'm sorry but I didn't feel it was my place and about client confidentiality etc and she replied "you have done our hair for years we thought of you as a friend, I don't think I would be able to look you in the face ever again"

Guys I'm really upset about this have i done something wrong ? I really don't know what to reply I must admit i broke down when I read her last message as she said some other hurtful things about how iv made her feel at not telling her and basically saying her daughter was going through hell and I never told her?

I really believe I done what was best and that was kept myself out of the situation I just don't really know what to reply I obviously don't want to lose them as clients x

 

[mollie1985]

Sorry guys don't need help with replying as I don't think il reply again as her daughter has just txt me apologising but saying her mum is absolutely fuming and iv just been on FB and she has put a quote on that says something about people who act as friends which I'm guessing is aimed at me so think it's best to let her cool down xx

 

[jojo77]

You were absolutely right not to tell anyone what a client told you that would if been a major breach of confidentiality. Bug hugs what a horrible situation xx

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[mollie1985]

You were absolutely right not to tell anyone what a client told you that would if been a major breach of confidentiality. Bug hugs what a horrible situation xx

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Thanks very much yes I really believe I was right, the client said to me something like you've done our family for years you weren't just a hairdresser we thought if you as a friend" and I must admit I was shaking while crying as it made me feel terrible, to be honestly I'm hoping she calms down and sees what a situation I was in but I don't think I could face her again I could feel the rage through her txts, I had a missed call from a private number 20 minutes before and I'm wondering if it was her X

 

[mollie1985]

You were absolutely right not to tell anyone what a client told you that would if been a major breach of confidentiality. Bug hugs what a horrible situation xx

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Do you think I should reply anything or just leave it ? Thanks for replying x

 

[tsparker78]

I'd let her cool down. She'll be embarrassed later.

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[KHS]

Oooooo dear!!!

You have done nothing wrong! Nothing at all. I feel she is only lashing out at you out of guilt maybe, with the fact her daughter felt you were the better person to talk to about it and not her mum. She's probsbly hurt her daughter didn't go to her. But that's not your fault luvie x

If she's only just realised her daughter was going through hell, why did she need you to tell her? You know yourself when a family member or a close friend is not their usual self, if she didn't notice her daughter hitting hard emotional times, again, thst isn't your fault

You did the right thing by keeping quiet, we can't go around discussing conversations with clients no matter to whom. If it was her Dr he wouldn't be discussing it with her mother and nor should you. X



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[happyfeet]

Her daugher is a 19 year old adult. You were absolutely right in not discussing this with the mother. I think that she should think herself lucky that her daughter trusted you enough to tell you.

Chin up lovely. Xxx

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[beauty_geek86]

I agree. I think she owes you an apology too x

 

[mollie1985]

I'd let her cool down. She'll be embarrassed later.

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Yeah I think your right just leave it, we did exchange a few txts where I tried to explain but iv not replied to her last one, some of the things she said were just so hurtful as I do act as a friend to some clients but that's just my nature.
Thanks for replying il do as you have both said just leave her to cool down x

 

[mollie1985]

Aw thanks everyone I'm glad you all agree as I must admit I was starting to doubt myself, can't believe how much I'm crying over this, at least you have all reassured me thanks everyone I know I can always rely on you lot xx

 

[mollie1985]

Just went into FB to see if anyone commented on her post and she's unfriended me so Definitely right to leave her to calm down, I'm quite worried that she makes a status or something about me x

 

[tsparker78]

Aw thanks everyone I'm glad you all agree as I must admit I was starting to doubt myself, can't believe how much I'm crying over this, at least you have all reassured me thanks everyone I know I can always rely on you lot xx

You are completely in the right here.

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[beauty_geek86]

Don't worry and you are obviously upset because someone is attacking your character x

 

[jamiereid92]

Yeah she is obviously very upset its not a nice thing to find out her daughter spoke to someone else and not her.

Not your fault at all though, if you had told her you would have had the same abuse from the daughter, and its not really any of your business to tell her.

She should apologize in a few days, if not then don't dwell on it, you did the right thing xx

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[mollie1985]

Thanks everyone, her daughter just txt me again saying how sorry she is, I feel for her so I told her not to worry it's just been a bad situation and I told her that I won't be replying to her mum So il just need to leave it at that xx

 

[mollie1985]

Yeah she is obviously very upset its not a nice thing to find out her daughter spoke to someone else and not her.

Not your fault at all though, if you had told her you would have had the same abuse from the daughter, and its not really any of your business to tell her.

She should apologize in a few days, if not then don't dwell on it, you did the right thing xx

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Well that's the thing Jamie it was a catch 22 like you said if I did tell and as someone else mentioned she is 19(she's actually 20 on Boxing Day) so she is an adult.

Out of curiosity what could happen if I had of told the mum? Like could the daughter sue me?

 

[jacquelineanna]

Well that's the thing Jamie it was a catch 22 like you said if I did tell and as someone else mentioned she is 19(she's actually 20 on Boxing Day) so she is an adult.

Out of curiosity what could happen if I had of told the mum? Like could the daughter sue me?

No she couldn't sue you but then you would have the daughter on your case instead of the mother :-(

 

[mollie1985]

I wasn't actually sure if she could maybe sue me for confidentiality as it's something I could obviously say to the mum, oh I know either way if be stuck. Feel so sorry for the 19yr old as she didn't choose to tell me to be honest I think I was just the person there at the time when she needed and I do praise myself that I am a good listener and supporter for anyone and I think she knew this bit unfortunately it's just put me in a very difficult decision.
Having read all your lovely supporting comments iv told myself to get a grip and stop being so upset, iv done nothing wrong and had absolutely no right in telling her mother as it wasn't my place nor part of my job so thanks everyone you've all gave me a kick up the backside, I really appreciate you all taking time to reply and assure me I hadn't done anything wrong it means a lot, I called a couple of friends for opinions but It's good as you are all unbiased xx

 

[jamiereid92]

Well that's the thing Jamie it was a catch 22 like you said if I did tell and as someone else mentioned she is 19(she's actually 20 on Boxing Day) so she is an adult.

Out of curiosity what could happen if I had of told the mum? Like could the daughter sue me?

I don't think she could, I'm not 100% sure if we have a legal binding of confidentiality.

However the daughter would never trust you again and be a lot more hurt than the mum, who will get over it soon.

Like I said, it's not your business to tell the mum, you advised her to talk with her mum but that's all you can do. Don't worry about it, the mum will calm down when she realises her daughter needs her support x

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