Am I right to be upset?

[sv1711]

So we had a works party last night for the staff of all the local shops. I work in a hairdressers it is just me and the male hairdresser. We have always got on ok he can be childish like taking my phone when I'm not there and putting silly fb status.
Recently I have become good friends with a male who is older but we really get on so are just seeing what happens. I've told a few close close friends about this and everyone has been supportive and happy for me but I haven't told my work college.
Anyway we had a Xmas party last night and while I was looking after another party goer who had drunk to much and was being sick he got hold of my phone.
To cut a long story short he started messaging this guy pretending to be me asking if he would pick me up and I could go back with him etc to find out if we were more than friends he then put some silly fb status up on my account.
I didn't realise until today he had done all this and only after the man I'm seeing mentioned it
I just feel so upset that he thinks it's funny to do something like that to me, if he had asked I would of told him what was happening he didn't need to sit there with his gf and friend sending messages pretending to be me to find out what was happening.
I just feel violated that he went into my private messages I know he will now tell everyone as we live in a smallish town so everyone will know and have an opinion as the male is a lot older than me
What would u do how would u approach him to say how upset I am he did this to
Sorry for the long post

 

[80's Girl]

Sorry I don't have any advice but I didn't want to read and run! First off though I think you are entitled to feel violated. It was totally an inappropriate and childish thing that this fella did. I'd be bloody outraged. You're going to have to say something though - you can't just leave it. X

 

[pinkcouture]

I would be putting a password on my phone for starters! Even my best friend wouldn't go through my private messages, i would be livid if anyone did this to me!

 

[Grace_Hair]

I would be telling this guy straight that he has absolutely no right to EVER look through your phone. Let alone message anyone from it!

I'd probably start off by saying something like 'you absolute jack*** I cannot believe you would be so childish to message anyone off of my phone.' Etc etc.

I would just have it out with him.

 

[Makenna]

That's outrageous! Of course you are right to be upset, I would be absolutely furious.
I would definitely have it out with him, and I wouldn't be worried about treading carefully either.
Then put a password on your phone xx

 

[AcidPerm]

I can appreciate that you're feeling upset but the problem is that you've allowed him to take your phone previously and post FB statuses etc.

If anything, it seems like you have encouraged his behaviour by not setting clear boundaries with him or even password protecting your phone.

You need to make it crystal clear that your phone is no longer available for him to play around with and as everyone else has said, put a password on it!

 

[Emily S]

None of my friends would do this to me but then I wouldn't let them on my phone in the first place.

Seems extremely childish to me.

 

[salj]

Firstly, password your phone (or change the current one) and lock it when it is not in your hands! And do not leave it anywhere near him unattended.

Secondly, yes you are absolutely right to be upset, I'd be livid. This person needs to know he crossed a line and that you won't tolerate it. You don't have to have a row with him but you should definitely let him know how you feel.

 

[Emily.partington91]

Going through someone's phone is like reading someone's personal diary, you just don't do it!!

If I was you I would tell him that he crossed a line and that your upset about it and would also make it clear it is none of his or anyone else's business who you talk to or what you do so you don't need him telling everyone as if there was anything worry telling people you would tell them yourself.

Things like this really annoy me if any of my friends passed me their phone to look at something like a photo I would never swipe off that photo. It's just rude! X

 

[Martin Duffy]

This is a clear instance of what happens if you don't nip things in the bud! Yes, it is totally inappropriate, but if it had been me I would have been having this conversation with him the first time it happened, not waiting until things went this far!

As others have said, password protect your phone (not just to stop him from mucking about with your phone, but also to protect yourself in case it ever gets stolen), and make it very clear that you don't want him going near your phone in future.

 

[daydreams01]

That is really out of order and not only childish but a real invasion of your privacy. I think he needs some strong words from you and to know that it is not ok to do that. He should also apologise to the guy he was messaging on your behalf. He has made himself look a right idiot tho! He clearly needs to get a life of his own and stop meddling in yours!

 

[Reidebot]

Honestly that is crossing the line. There are certain boundries that must be in place between a boss and employee and that is one of them.

 

[surf girl]

Honestly that is crossing the line. There are certain boundries that must be in place between a boss and employee and that is one of them.

Lol! coz you know all about bosses and boundaries!

 

[Grace_Hair]

Ooh @Linkles. I have missed you. I genuinely chuckled when I saw you were posting again!

 

[surf girl]

Ooh @Linkles. I have missed you. I genuinely chuckled when I saw you were posting again!

Uuugh @Grace_Hair do we really need to encourage this....

 

[KHS]

Yes he was bang our of order but I'm sorry to say you did bring it on yourself by not nipping it in the bud when he used your phone to post statuses on your account.

Assumably your phone was left on the table for all to see and not in your bag out of the way? To be fair at least this lad only sent texts to one person. ..someone could've nicked it and posted a whole heap of other stuff to every contact on your phone. ..

Lesson learnt eh.

 

[Miss Sparkle]

You have every right to be upset. Not fair at all. Have it out with him and end it once and for all. How old is he, 12?