Bad/uncomfortable situation

[Mad_4_Massage]

Hello SalonGeeks!
Im new to the site so please go easy on me!

I got put in a bad situation at work recently, i had a woman booked in for a bikini wax, (she was unsure of what she wanted when booking so i told her i'd book out enough time for an all off so she could decided, she was the last client of the day so i didnt mind doing some overtime) and when she arrived her boyfriend came with her which is fine, it doesnt bother me, i gave them both drinks and invited her to come into the room and get ready. What was strange was her boyfriend went in with her, and when i asked her if she was comfortable with him been in the room she just looked down while her loudly announced he would be staying in the room and that i should get on with the wax as he "doesnt have time to waste with talking".

I bit my tongue and ignored it, however this raised alarm bells, so i excused myself and asked another therapist to wait outside the room with the phone for security, and went in to start the wax. When i asked her if she knew which type of wax she wanted, her boyfriend demanded i take it all off "as pubic hair is disgusting and he didn't like it so it needs to go"

I told him that while i understood his points of view, i needed to hear what she wanted done and asked her once again what she would like, but before she could answer the man snorted and told me "I'm paying, it's my choice so get on with it" and when i went to answer him he interrupted saying "My custom pays your wages. Which means you do what i tell you to do"

By this point i'd had enough of been treated like this and told him to leave the room and wait outside. He refused however i told him i wouldn't do the treatment with him in the room. When he left i asked the girl if she needed help, he seemed rather controlling and thought she might need some help, to which she explained that she was fine, he was just very dominant. I told her it wasn't my business but if she ever needed help i would try to help her. She explained that while he may seem mean, he is very kind to her and treats her right and wants whats best for her and that she was okay.

I did the wax after confirming how she wanted it and she was happy with it, the man was very grumpy as he paid and practically dragged her out the salon.

Sorry for the essay but i was wondering how any of you would have handled the situation? I was just going refuse do the treatment (which i would have if the other therapist was too busy to stand outside) but i wanted to check the girl was alright.

 

[Kim Lawless]

I think you handled it really well as you must have felt intimidated.

She's obviously being abused by him but that's her choice to make and you could make things worse for her, so keep out if it.

I wouldn't book her in again as you could get dragged into it all.

 

[Male Waxing]

At the end of the day you’re a beauty therapist and shouldn’t get involved in clients personal lives. You did the right thing and showed him who was boss in your salon

 

[Chrysalis]

I agree I would put a comment on her notes regarding this I case she books in with the other therapist too

 

[sparkle_beauty]

It's sad but as a therapist there's nothing you can really do. You handled it very well and it does sound like she is been abused x

 

[Mad_4_Massage]

I feel sick about the way he was, she was only a young girl as well (on her consultation she's put shes 19). He looked much older, i hate the fact there's nothing we can do, but sadly i don't think she recognized it as abuse and we cant force her to accept any help, she seemed so timid with everything she did. She refused make eye contact with anyone and wouldn't speak unless he let her or he wasn't in the room. It does make me angry to think that someone can treat another human like that! I've attached a note on her consultation card to warn the other girls.

 

[Rinn]

I admire you for standing up to that bully and also for the way you tried to help that girl. Well done.

 

[virtues2011]

I think you did the right thing. It is a difficult one though. Years ago my then boyfriend and i watched a guy punch his girlfriend in the face in the middle of the high street. My boyfriend went over and had a few sharp word with the guy. .the girl got up of the floor, punched my boyfriend in the back of the head, slapped him round the face and told him to mind his own business! ......

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[angelina221]

I think you handled it very well. I have been asked if boyfriends can come in the room and I always reply 'I'm sorry but my insurance won't cover for having other people in the room' or words similar to that!

 

[Ashleigh_21x]

I think you did the right thing. It is a difficult one though. Years ago my then boyfriend and i watched a guy punch his girlfriend in the face in the middle of the high street. My boyfriend went over and had a few sharp word with the guy. .the girl got up of the floor, punched my boyfriend in the back of the head, slapped him round the face and told him to mind his own business! ......

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I've seen this happen too, a couple of years ago at New Years a girl was being physically abused by her boyfriend in the street, she was shouting for help, the guy i was with went over to stop it and she got up and tried to attack him with a stiletto! Crazy!

 

[Carlalouise]

Well done you! You did the best you could without getting too involved but it does make you think, how old was she really and was he her boyfriend or was there something more sinister going on.

I have three teenage daughters and so this makes my blood boil! However you have to protect yourself first, you wouldn't want any repercussions.

I think recording the situation on her client card is a good idea.

 

[hazelb]

I think you did brilliantly.

I it was essential to get him to leave the room and ask her how much to wax..or the whole issue of consent gets muddied!

It does sound like she an abusive relationship of some sort..and you recognized that.
You indicated that to her..now it is up to her to recognize the situation and try to change things. One day she may find the courage.

 

[waffle4]

I think you handled it very well. Who's to say that your words won't replay in her mind and she does then have the courage to take steps away from him? She's probably had friends saying the same but dismisses them but as you are a complete outsider who could see something was clearly wrong it may just hit home for her fingers crossed.

 

[WaxGirl]

you were kind and compassionate and did your best to help her

good on you girl

maybe have the womens aid cards and info in your salon

 

[tonicj]

The situation sounds strange to me? Maybe this poor girl is being used for something else! She sounds like she was doing something she didn't really want and was afraid to say no and his attitude about paying and you doing what he asked! Mmm. You handled it very well.

 

[sarah1992]

I think you did the right thing. It is a difficult one though. Years ago my then boyfriend and i watched a guy punch his girlfriend in the face in the middle of the high street. My boyfriend went over and had a few sharp word with the guy. .the girl got up of the floor, punched my boyfriend in the back of the head, slapped him round the face and told him to mind his own business! ......

Sent from my GT-N7100 using SalonGeek mobile app

I seen a situation similar to this & my boyfriend was going mad & going over there but as he was heading over, the girl got up & smacked him twice as hard, they then left down the road happily ever after! I told my boyfriend that the girl would have defended her boyfriend and this goes to show!

 

[Beautyandme]

You were thinking with your heart and looking out for another female - good on you ! and he sounds like a prat and needed putting in his place.

 

[Beautyandme]

I think you did the right thing. It is a difficult one though. Years ago my then boyfriend and i watched a guy punch his girlfriend in the face in the middle of the high street. My boyfriend went over and had a few sharp word with the guy. .the girl got up of the floor, punched my boyfriend in the back of the head, slapped him round the face and told him to mind his own business! ......

Sent from my GT-N7100 using SalonGeek mobile app

Its abit like shoot the messeger. Good on your bloke for knowing what's right and Shame on the girl for letting it happen. She must never have met a gentle man before.

 

[Mrs.Clooney]

At the end of the day you’re a beauty therapist and shouldn’t get involved in clients personal lives. You did the right thing and showed him who was boss in your salon

You handled the situation very well. This is one of those posts which literally made my jaw drop and I winced whilst reading it.

I agree with what Male Waxing has said though. You were reaching out to her and very kind as well as professional. Therapists need to be cautious about getting too involved as this could open a whole new can of worms.

Well done you. Very uncomfortable situation.

 

[Mad_4_Massage]

Hey guys, just an update The lady came back in today with her mum and with a bunch of flowers for me! Apparently when she left the salon she mentioned to her mum the next time she saw her about the concern i had for her and how she thought it was sweet, her mum decided to have a heart to heart with her and told her that she could move back in with her and long story short she's left him! He was abusing her and had made her feel worthless like nobody cared, and she's got the courage to leave him! I am sooo proud of her! Takes a lot to walk away from a situation like that and she's managed it!