Bullying in school

[Crystal colleen]

Thought I would write this to get your opinions.

My daughter is six and goes to a nice school.She loves other kids and gets on well with them boys and girls she's quite tomboy and loves rough and tough play but also likes girly mum and dads games to.

She is friends with another girl who I know has probes at home.they play together a lot we have had some lil spats between them but nothing that I would be worried about until now.

Billie ( my daughter ) has been very different at home in the last 3 weeks with strops being nasty to us just generally unhappy me and her dad (my fiancé) put I down to just having a moment getting older and so on.

All last week billie was saying she didn't want to go to school I found this a bit strange because she loves school she tried every trick in the book from I don't feel well that I haven't got school today and can I go to school later so I had a chat with her and asked her why she didn't want to go to school she replied because I don't want to so I said don't lie to me you can tell me anything so tell me what is going on and billie replied with it's Morgan she's being nasty.so I asked what was going on she said she keeps telling me she dosnt want to be my friend and I say well don't listen to it and play with someone else but I'm still thinking this isn't right there is more to this than meets the eye........................and there is.

My partner picks bill up from school and she was acting a bit strange she came home came through the door we sent her up to get changed I go up and she is on her bed holding her arm I take a look and she has got a deep cut on her wrist it was nasty really red and bloody.I asked her what it was and she said Morgan had tied a piece of string round her wrist and kept pulling it tighter and tighter and when bill said no stop it it carried on.we sat down and had a chat and it all came spilling out this girl had been punching billie spitting on her swearing at her calling her names the lot I said so why are you friends with her and she replied because she always says sorry and you have always said then when someone says sorry that we have to forgive and forget .....it made my heart melt what a lovely gal I have.I explained that this is unexceptable behaviour from this other girl and it isn't nice and that she should have told me and I could have helped sooner to which she replied I was going to tell you but Morgan said if I did then she would tell her dad that I was bullying her and then she said am I a bully I said no you are not ur a lovely girl and not to listern to what she says and from now on she is to play with the other gals that are lovely to her.my poor lil gal my blood was boiling and this child is very manipulative indeed.

So I ring the school and tell them what has been going on and say I would like to see someone about this they tell me that they will get the head to ring me
back the head dosnt ring me back somebody else does so I explain everything and she says it's very hard with you daughter and Morgan because they are friends I say how is it hard it's simple my daughter is being manipulated and bullied buy a girl that she thought was her friend and I say I don't want them playing together anymore and to keep them apart they say that that could be hard I say no you will do it because if I hear of one more thing that she has done I will be taking her out of the school until it is sorted.I also make them aware that it is there job to look after her in school hours to which I didn't get a reply.now this has been going on for 3 weeks how the hell has no one noticed bearing in mined there 6 years old .

So on the way home on Friday fiancé speakes to stepmother about the behaviour the stepmother apologises and tells the gal you wait till your dad heares this to which she starts screaming and crying begging not to take her home to her dad which was a big frightening to say the least I'm thinking what's going to happen to her when she does go home.then the stepmother then tells us that the gal went home last week and told her mum and dad that a boy had tied a piece of rope around her neck and strangled her until she was unconscious and she banged her head .to which they rang the school and said
that this is what had happened but she didn't have any marks on her or a bump on her head and the school replied with no she wouldn't have because it never happened the boy that was supposed to have done this was in all play time because he didn't feel well.

ohh my god this child is very disturbed and the school wonder why I don't want my gal playing with her anymore I'm going into the school Monday and to talk about all of this that has been going on and to see what the plan of action is.

Can anybody give me any advice on what to do and has anybody been in this situation before and what did you do.xxxxx

Sorry for the long post

 

[lucyboo]

Make an appointment toTalk to your daughters teacher & head teacher & tell them how concerned you are.
It will be taken seriously & ask that greater supervision be taken to prevent anything else happening, and encourage your daughter to play with other children x

 

[HWilliams]

Make an appointment toTalk to your daughters teacher & head teacher & tell them how concerned you are.
It will be taken seriously & ask that greater supervision be taken to prevent anything else happening, and encourage your daughter to play with other children x

Well said... Sadly bullying still goes on. The main thing is you know what is going on NOW so acting on it now may reduce the scars it can cause x

 

[Crystal colleen]

I have told the school and I'm going to go there Monday to make sure that the things I have addressed are being acted upon and taken seriously.I've told my daughter that she must play with other friends and told the school to make sure that she is playing with other children.

This is all I can do and monitor my daughter.

Thank you for your replies xx

 

[lucyboo]

Well said... Sadly bullying still goes on. The main thing is you know what is going on NOW so acting on it now may reduce the scars it can cause x

My own daughter , having just started junior school, had her first experience of being bullied. I was saddened to think that a 7 yr old boy could be so nasty!! At the worse he had her on the ground kicking & punching her!!! Once school was aware it stopped. Out of curiosity I added his mum on Facebook via my business page but it has led me to actually feel very sad for the boy who was bullying.
He is the eldest of 7 children ( he is 7!!) & by looking at his mothers page all she does is sit playing Facebook games all day long, he is left to take himself to & from school across at least 3 busy roads,
I hope it all gets stopped soon & your daughter can enjoy school xxx

 

[Crystal colleen]

My own daughter , having just started junior school, had her first experience of being bullied. I was saddened to think that a 7 yr old boy could be so nasty!! At the worse he had her on the ground kicking & punching her!!! Once school was aware it stopped. Out of curiosity I added his mum on Facebook via my business page but it has led me to actually feel very sad for the boy who was bullying.
He is the eldest of 7 children ( he is 7!!) & by looking at his mothers page all she does is sit playing Facebook games all day long, he is left to take himself to & from school across at least 3 busy roads,
I hope it all gets stopped soon & your daughter can enjoy school xxx

That is sad isn't it.I know this girl has probes at home very complex home life which I do fined very sad indeed.

Its just hurts me because my daughter has learning difficulties and is a very hard place at the moment I feel and dosnt need any set backes.I had to change her last school because of an insdent which changed her life and ours which I won't go into details for all to see but we don't need set backs if you know what I mean.

I'm sure it will all resolve itself though then we will be happy.thanks for replying xxx

 

[dandelionpoppy]

The other little girl is clearly unhappy, possibly disturbed and maybe abused.
However, your main focus, understandably, is YOUR daughter.
I advise you to set down your concerns formally, eg in a report - but mark it confidential, and use language such as "my daughter told me....
" and "it appears that ...."
Ask for a meeting with the Head and class teacher, and ask that they draw up an action plan to address the situation. Ask for a review date for a follow-up meeting.
Don't take your daughter out of school. This may re-inforce her views that she is not safe there. If you take her out YOU may be in trouble, and then she my feel, wrongly, that she is to blame.
Lastly...this is what I'd do, but maybe not everyone would, I would say that I wanted it recorded that I had strong concerns concerning the other little girl and would like my concerns passed onto the designated member of staff for Child Protection.
I hope this helps! xxx

 

[Crystal colleen]

The other little girl is clearly unhappy, possibly disturbed and maybe abused.
However, your main focus, understandably, is YOUR daughter.
I advise you to set down your concerns formally, eg in a report - but mark it confidential, and use language such as "my daughter told me....
" and "it appears that ...."
Ask for a meeting with the Head and class teacher, and ask that they draw up an action plan to address the situation. Ask for a review date for a follow-up meeting.
Don't take your daughter out of school. This may re-inforce her views that she is not safe there. If you take her out YOU may be in trouble, and then she my feel, wrongly, that she is to blame.
Lastly...this is what I'd do, but maybe not everyone would, I would say that I wanted it recorded that I had strong concerns concerning the other little girl and would like my concerns passed onto the designated member of staff for
Child Protection.
I hope this helps! xxx

This has helped greatly thank you very much I will do this for sure thank you for replying I now know where to start with the situation.

I told her that she has to go to school and I wouldn't be keeping her off and that I will do everything I can to stop what's happening.I will pm you and explain what happened at the other school and why my daughter is so upset about this all happening to her.thank you very much xxxx

 

[louem]

Aw I hope you get this sorted, I know how you feel, my little girl says she has no friends at school and she plays on her own, I don't know what to do short of changing schools, it breaks my heart cos she's so lovely. Kids can be cruel xx

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using SalonGeek

 

[Crystal colleen]

Aw I hope you get this sorted, I know how you feel, my little girl says she has no friends at school and she plays on her own, I don't know what to do short of changing schools, it breaks my heart cos she's so lovely. Kids can be cruel xx

Sent from my HTC Sensation Z710e using SalonGeek

This is the exact problem I had with billie she played on her own or indoors with the teachers.until she met this girl who also played on her own and they became friends because they had each other :evil:.I would go and speak to her teacher and devise a plan because it's up to the teachers to introduce her to others and get her playing with others and there games and things.

I know how you feel xxx

 

[jimjamjarz]

This is awful! Made me wanna cry a bit to think an innocent six year old can be so hurt by another six year old

Schools take bullying so seriously now, speak with the head and if they brush it off say you will take it further as they aren't looking after your child efficiently obviously and they will soon solve the issue! That girl need to be expelled !!

Tell billy I think she's a beautiful girl without even seeing her by saying about the sorry thing it sounds like you have an amazin child!

Xxxxxxx

 

[Crystal colleen]

This is awful! Made me wanna cry a bit to think an innocent six year old can be so hurt by another six year old

Schools take bullying so seriously now, speak with the head and if they brush it off say you will take it further as they aren't looking after your child efficiently obviously and they will soon solve the issue! That girl need to be expelled !!

Tell billy I think she's a beautiful girl without even seeing her by saying about the sorry thing it sounds like you have an amazin child!

Xxxxxxx

Ahhhh I know how sweet is that she is lovely it made me cry when she said that lol.thank you very much yeh action needs to be taken I feel and hopefully will resolve this tomora xxxxxx

 

[alpina]

I wasn't going to reply to this thread because I don't feel that I have any helpful advice on how to deal with this situation, but... I was bullied constantly from the age 4 to 17 by everyone from other kids, my best friends, teachers at school and employers, and was in an abusive relationship from age 15-17 so I know how damaging this can be.

I do agree with Dandelionpoppys advice 100% and do believe that you should do as she has suggested, however I don't believe that her teachers and the school will be able to help at all. I know that sounds terribly nasty and I'm not saying it to be mean at all but most bullying will happen in private and even if the teachers/parents are aware of it they will have no idea of the severity of the bullying. These kids are incredibly manipulative and it is generally a constant attack of small incidents that seem minor which are just part of the whole situation.

I had no confidence at all and didn't understand I had the power to let people get away with treating me this way. I truly believed that this was how things were and I had no choice but to let these things happen and not stand up for myself or at least remove myself from the situation. When I turned 17 something snapped inside of me and I am a completely different person now, no one would even consider picking on me now.

Colleen, I hope this doesn't make you feel worse, that is not my intention at all, i was just hoping to offer a bit of perspective on the situation. My best advice would be to continue as you are doing and making sure Billie really understands that she is worth more that this and that is worthy of being treated better than this, keep encouraging her to make friends with other nicer kids and one day she will believe you and be able to understand the difference between a situation or friendship that isn't healthy for her.

The one thing I always remember is the love and support of my parents, they always told me I could do anything I wanted to - now I know they were right. I'll be thinking of you and Billie, I truly hope this is easily resolved and things work out for Billie at this school :hug:

 

[brittone05]

I agree wholly with Poppy. Whilst it is difficult to be in this situation, and your daughter must be your primary concern, I feel a level of concern for the other child involved - if she finds this kind of behaviour acceptable and is showing other signs of having unresolved issues then I would insist that the school involve Child Protection to assess her both from her point of view as possibly the victim of bullying/abuse and also from other children's point of view as the victims of her bullying.

At 6 years old, most children lead by example I find and don't fully grasp the conept of right and wrong ( they know the basics but not to the extent that an older child would ) If this child is having problems at home that are reflecting on her realtionship with other children then the school have a duty of care towards her.

I sincerely hope that you can resolve this hun and that your daughter finds her love of school again :hug: xxx

The other little girl is clearly unhappy, possibly disturbed and maybe abused.
However, your main focus, understandably, is YOUR daughter.
I advise you to set down your concerns formally, eg in a report - but mark it confidential, and use language such as "my daughter told me....
" and "it appears that ...."
Ask for a meeting with the Head and class teacher, and ask that they draw up an action plan to address the situation. Ask for a review date for a follow-up meeting.
Don't take your daughter out of school. This may re-inforce her views that she is not safe there. If you take her out YOU may be in trouble, and then she my feel, wrongly, that she is to blame.
Lastly...this is what I'd do, but maybe not everyone would, I would say that I wanted it recorded that I had strong concerns concerning the other little girl and would like my concerns passed onto the designated member of staff for Child Protection.
I hope this helps! xxx

 

[SmileNails]

This post just breaks my heart. Everything u said makes me think of my own 6yr old.... She's having problems at school but won't tell me. I dnt think she's being bullied, but she is very quiet and timid and due to a falling out between myself and another mum - some of the girls don't play with her. (the mum has told her child not to play with mine =pathetic really).

I too raised issues with the school, had a meeting with the head (she had no idea who my daughter was!!) and asked for the outdoor leaders to keep an eye on her at breaktimes. This hasnt happened. We are now keeping a log of everything - and are considering moving her schools.

Never been to a less cooperative school!

I really hope it all works out for u.... I cannot get my head round how cruel children can be. It truly breaks my heart.

Wishing u and billie all the best... Bless her good wee soul.xxx