Child Being Bullied - Anyone Experienced This?

[vicky]

Hi All

Wondered if anyone can help. My youngest is 9 and she is having an awful time at school. 2 girls in her class are making her life hell. This poor girl has gone from an outgoing, bubble girl into a shy wallflower with all her confidence gone. Its killing my to see it and don't no what to do for the best. To make it worse one of the mums of the 2 girls likes to through my 9 year old dirty looks, and this is an adult..!

The school isnt doing anything, i have now looked into moving schools but i dont know if im doing the right thing. Has anyone experienced this and am i doing the right thing?

Many thanks

 

[wondernail]

Have you tried contacting your local MP to intervene? Maybe the school would be more likely to sort the problem out if they thought it had been escalated up to your local MP. Have you spoken to your local LEA for advice?

Maybe Parentline maybe able to help...I have no idea of the number though.

Hope it gets sorted for you.

 

[~shelley~]

My little girl is only 2 but i dread this happening, as i was bullyed so bad at school that i used to hallucinate (sp?) & couldnt sleep & went from being bubbly & confident to being shy & unconfident - it got to the point where i didnt even dare eat in from of people & things like that & thought it was the worst thing ever for my mam to get involved so asked her not to & she didnt & i did think it would have made things worse,
At least she is 9 & you can do something about it - bless her - i know how it feels, i wish schools would do more!!

 

[cantrelax]

Have you tried contacting your local MP to intervene? Maybe the school would be more likely to sort the problem out if they thought it had been escalated up to your local MP. Have you spoken to your local LEA for advice?

I haven't experinced this before but this is definately an idea that I would try. Hope all goes well hun. xxx

 

[Fingertips ND]

I was bullied at school from about that age and it was awful.

They made my life a misery and I hated getting up for school!

The girls used to go round ripping peoples clothes and pinching things and blaming it on me!

Nothing was done to stop them and I can't give you any advice because no matter how much you try to reassure your child it never puts their mind at ease.

I am as skinny as I am now through nerves and bullimia. Everything made my stomach do the splits. Even now if the slightest thing stresses me out or makes me nervous I feel as though I am going to be sick. On the outside you would never know by my personality but on the inside sometimes when certain things happen I just shrivel up and want to hide.

If you need to talk just ring me! Although I have no children of my own I know how it feels and my bullying and health were things that have been kept a secret for a long time. My current boyfriend still doesn't know what I went through and why I still have issues sometimes.

 

[Fingertips ND]

Oh and reassure her everyday that you will try and help and that she is worth more than any of those girls put together.

The hardest thing for me was dealing with it on my own because I wouldn't tell my mum and dad.

 

[vicky]

Its reallly hard becaused the school is quite small and me and the head really dont see eye to eye so in some ways im thinking she will be glad to see the back of me and my family. My oldest girl was going through an awful time with a bay and the mother grabbed my daughter in the playground and started swearing at her. I hit the roof yet she couldnt do anything because she would have been seen as beng racist??? I did say then that i ould take it to the governerns and the boy did leave the school. So since then i cant even look at the head.

I dont wont to disrupt her too much but my only option is to move schools, but i dont think its fare i have to do this?

 

[vicky]

Oh and reassure her everyday that you will try and help and that she is worth more than any of those girls put together.

The hardest thing for me was dealing with it on my own because I wouldn't tell my mum and dad.

Do you wish you had changed school..?

I dont wont her going through what i did, i was bulimic from 9 and im so worried

 

[Lellipop]

Dont put up with this get it stopped asap
http://www.bullying.co.uk/
This site will give you some ideas on sorting it out

 

[Fingertips ND]

Do you wish you had changed school..?

I dont wont her going through what i did, i was bulimic from 9 and im so worried

If I had the choice now or it was me with a child then yes!

I know it is hard and you shouldn't have to do that but in my opinion I would do it if it made my child happy!

 

[vicky]

I know all kids argue and tease but its getting so bad now, she doesnt wont to go to school and iv seen my beautiful little girl go down hill very quickly.

The school where she is now is one of the best and people fight to get there kids in there but i worried im doing the wrong thing.

I wont my baby to be happy..!!

Thasnks for everyone help

 

[Lellipop]

Vicky the best thing you can do is ask your daughter what she would like to happen its ok to think oh I will change schools but sometimes the kids being bullied will have friends at the school and changing may not be such a good idea.

 

[Buggy]

contact the local education authority through a solicitor. threaten legal action if they do not do anything. This is what my sister did with my neice and it worked. i was bullied at school and it affected me a lot of my life, even after i left school. i'm really outgoing now but underneath i can be really unconfident (people don't realise because i've developed a right gob on me) but my school life was hell. if you put me in school with kids of today, that little shy me would never have survived.

to be honest tho, i've always said if i had a kid at school that was being bullied i would get a mate and a balaclava and grab those bullies when they were on their own and threaten to have them put in hospital in they went near my kid again. sometimes its the only thing bullies respond to.

The other thing i would do is take my kid to a marshall arts class. i think it would teach them to not only how to stand up for themselves but to have the confidence to do it.

 

[vicky]

Vicky the best thing you can do is ask your daughter what she would like to happen its ok to think oh I will change schools but sometimes the kids being bullied will have friends at the school and changing may not be such a good idea.

We live quite away from the school is in at the moment, its a great school on paper so i will willing to travel to let them have the best education. My oldest leaves this year so dannii will be there alone. Her best friend moved schools 1 year ago and since then things have gone from bad to worse. The new school is also bigger so there should be more children to get alone with. I just wont to do the right thing, its so hard.

 

[ADiva1]

This is awful and I really get upset when I hear this type of thing. How can people be so horrible from a young age?

I would try talking to the head teacher AGAIN. Be as calm as you can, reiterate whats going on. TELL her that you will see the MP and also go to the local papers about whats going on at the school. You never know, some other parents might even come forward about it.

My older one said he had racist remarks being said to him by a group of children at school. I wanted to go and see the head teacher immediately but my son wont let me. He said that its not happening anymore. I've only just asked him about it and he said that everything is ok. I hope to god it is.

Stick up for your little girl, and dont take any nonsense from the school or anyone. :hug:

 

[vicky]

to be honest tho, i've always said if i had a kid at school that was being bullied i would get a mate and a balaclava and grab those bullies when they were on their own and threaten to have them put in hospital in they went near my kid again. sometimes its the only thing bullies respond to.

The other thing i would do is take my kid to a marshall arts class. i think it would teach them to not only how to stand up for themselves but to have the confidence to do it.

The girls are verbulie bullying her, at one point she had the whole class on her taunting her. What makes it worse is she is a very tall girl and people think that she shold beable to take it because she's a big girl..! She stands out in her class as she's 2 foot taller then the others. I guess the teachers see it as the others are small and can bully anyone let alone the biggest girls in the class..!!

 

[xniceyloux]

hi there, i have a 10 yr old son that was being bullied at school, no matter how many time i went into the school nothing was done this went on for a very long time both mental and physical..my childs self confidence was that low he didnt want to go to school i was at my witts end.
i totally know how you must be feeling!
i have a cousin that is a taekwondo instructor and my mum rang him and asked if my son could join to see if it would bring his self confidence along and oh my god has it! he has been goin 6 months and has got his second belt!
he has totally changed as a person hes much more bubbly now and doesnt seem to let anything get to him anymore..the bullys now no longer bully him they know they cannot bother him anymore, maybe this would be an option for your daughter...the diffrence in my son within 6 months is amazing...
i hope everything turns out ok for you and your daughter i know how desprate you must feel and as for the mother pulling dead eyes SHAME ON HER!! no wonder her child is like that!

 

[vicky]

Thanks Lou, just need to see the light at the end of the tunnel..!

 

[xniceyloux]

children can be sooooooooo cruel it just makes me wonder what the parents of these children say to them they must know surley

 

[*Glynis*]

Do not put up with it. Talk/write to the head teacher, write to the Governors, write to the local education authority, write to your local MP, whatever, but do not put up with it.

My son became so unhappy when he went to senior school. Bless him, all he wants to do is learn but the anti-boffin culture within our schools these days is terrible, particularly for boys. If they want to learn or do their work properly they just become the butt of jokes and bullying. I watched him go down hill for a few weeks, I tackled the teachers, governors etc. but unfortunately to no avail. In the end we took him out of school totally and we now educate him at home. He will go back into the school system in the sixth form and will be taking all his GCSEs at least 1 year early. He still has plenty of contact with his friends out of school and is back to the child we knew.

I know its not the answer for everyone, and is possibily the last resort, but I couldn't watch as he became more and more unhappy.

You hear such horror stories about kids who have been bullied and the parents always say "we did everything we could" - but make sure you do. We can't bring them into this world, love them, care for them and then let other horrible people make their childhood a misery.

Do anything, but don't let it continue.

Big hugs to your daughter.