Confusing relationship

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Just think, if this was one of your close friends what would you be saying to her? You'd be telling her to run a mile! Stay strong :)

Also i'm sorry for your loss x
 
Love is not an emotion. Thats why so many people divorce. They fall in love and later realize marriage is about being completely selfLESS. I think you are attached to this guy. This is an abusive relationship. You need to outweigh what is more important- your mental health, or paying him back for the holiday. Stop telling yourself he loves you. You guys had spark in the beginning and you thought he was the one. He's not.
I know this because I went theough the same exact thing as you. I made up all yhese excuses in my head about him but he was really a cheater and drug addict. His charm and lies always swayed me back.
Im now married and in the healthiest relationship in my life. There wasnt a spark in the beginning but he doesnt make me want to kill myself. He is my best friend an I have complete peace and joy in my life.
Trust me, its not worth it to stay.
 
I can only echo what other geeks have said.

Cut all ties with this man now, and remember that you are worth a lot more than the way he is treating you.
Yes it will hurt, but one day you look back at this and wonder what the hell you even gave him the time of day for.

Wishing you luck, and remember to be strong. xxx
 
I work on the principle that love makes you feel good. This is not love. This is addiction/lack of self esteem however you want to view it, but it is not love. Love is also a two way street - it is reciprocated. Love can have some really crappy moments, highs and lows, but it doesn't destroy you the way this relationship is. Take a deep breath and walk away without a backward glance. Good luck!
 
Stop wasting your breath on this guy. Why should you pay him back his share of the holiday? He should pay you back for being an a-hole. Have some self respect, stop calling him & open up your mind to the possibility of meeting someone else.
 
Tricky one. Think we've all been addicted to bad relationships on here, myself included.

Reading your story takes me back. Deep down I think you know this man doesn't love you. You're clingy because you're trying to cling onto something that's not there.

Actions speak louder than words. If he loved you he wouldn't cheat on you, he'd want to speak to you and call you, he'd want to spend all the time he can with you.

When you find this man you will feel right and happy.

Deep down you know this man will never be the man who makes you truly happy.

I understand how hard it is to walk away because you're addicted to the idea of it working.

At some point, when you have had enough you will walk away, and it'll be easier to do then.

You need to learn to stop calling him. Call him once, if he doesn't answer, he knows it's his turn to call you back.

If someone doesn't want to talk to you they won't. Calling 1, 10 or 20 times doesn't make any difference. It just annoys them, and hurts you because you're being ignored.

I know you want someone who talks to you everyday, but this man doesn't want to talk to you everyday. You need to accept that or find a man who does want to talk to you everyday.

This man will never treat you how you deserve to be treated. I hope you find the strength to leave soon and experience real love x
 
One book that really helped me, and lots of some around the world addicted to bad relationships is:

"women who love too much"

Please read it, I promise you it'll help you break away from him.
 
Please dump this guy, you sound so lovely and he sounds like a complete butt.

I know it will be painful but you will move on and I'm sure, when you're ready, you'll meet someone who gives you what you need and isn't a total waste of oxygen!!
 
Oh my God, what is wrong with you? Have you no self respect? This guy doesn't even like you, let alone love you. Stop ringing him, he doesn't want you to. He doesn't want to speak to you and he doesn't want to be with you.. No matter what you do, this fact is not going to change.

You're making a complete fool of yourself. He is laughing at you with his mates behind your back. He is not worthy of you. You are too good for him. Don't contact him again.

Yes, the above is very harsh but I know from experience that you need these facts rammed down your throat or it just isn't going to sink in. If you were my daughter I would slap you.
 
Please please please dump this guy - just stop phoning him, and if he does contact you, ignore him!

Change his name on your phone to something rude that makes you laugh (I changed an ex's name to "wobble bottom" once, it helped).

I'm probably at least twice your age, and I've been there, done that.

You are worth so much more than this ****!

Ask your friends for support to keep away from him, have a friend you can phone if you feel like phoning him.

Post on here if it's 2 a.m. and no-one's up - people will obviously support you.
 
I completely agree with mobile manicure and I was going to say something to that effect.

He's a ass hole and all your doing is embarrassing yourself and making yourelf look really needy.

You sound like a great gal no need to put up with that crap.you will see in a few weeks after ending it and you will think to yourself what was I doing :D.

Listern to what mobile manicure has said it may sound harsh but it's not it's truth and truth is what you need to hear right now to make you see that this relationship will go nowhere and isn't going anywhere.

Xxx
 
I also agree with Mobile Manicure.

You have indicated that his whole family are horrible and he suddenly changed at midnight on new year's eve and also became horrible.

It seems you feel that everyone else is horrible ... and that you are really nice?

Sometimes we need to take a long hard look at ourselves when we blame everything and everyone else around us.

You have posted quite a few times on this thread and are pretty intense about the whole situation. If this reflects a small percent of how you are behaving with him I can understand why he would be trying to ignore you.

They guy has made it perfectly clear that he is not interested anymore and I do not understand why you would keep on throwing yourself at him in this way.

You have become an easy convenience for him.

I don't think the boyfriend is making you a victim .. you are making yourself a victim. And that is not the way to live your life my lovely.

It's time to man-up and take responsibility for your own happiness and sanity.

Good luck xxxx
 
you need a big hug :hug: and i promise you, from past experience, if you cut all contacts with him, even if you need to change your number and email address, shut down your facebook and tell him where to take his low life butt, you will feel a massive weight off your shoulders, will one of your friends not buy him out of his share of the holiday? or buy him out and then sell it? get your mum to buy him out and go away with her? you should always take a step forward in life, never take a step back. you can do it!!!! :D
 
Please please please let him go and get on with your life. Don't waste your time on someone who has so little respect for you. Get out with your friends and enjoy your freedom. In time you will find someone who really does love you and you won't look back xxx
 
Please hun, please get rid of this guy. Call the shots, breaks up with him. It'll be hard but you'll be able to look back and see how strong you were to leave him.

Read back through your original post. If it had been written by any one of us, what would you say? He is using you, he is not worth it. You deserve so much more. Forget the holiday, don't worry about him because at the end of the day he isn't worrying about you.

You won't be alone, you have your friends. But if this "relationship" goes on much longer you will have pushed your friends away. Plus you always have us hear.

Your health and sanity are worth so much more than a loser like this guy. x
 
This reminds me of a relationship I was in for 3yrs, it started out amazing then my bf started to get jeleaus of everyone and didnt want me going out nd I was really smothered nd no matter how many times I told him he just held on tighter and tighter. If i was late home from work he'd be on the phone nd i would dread answering it but if I didnt there'd be 20 missed calls. Then i found out he'd cheated on me nd thats where things went from bad to worse, always arguing, jeleausy from both sides nd constantly belittleing each other. Then one day while he was working abroad for the summer I just thought to myself, what kind of life is this. So i txt him it was over nd before he had time to reply I took out my sim and binned it, I deleted my fb nd changed email accts nd moved house so when he came back he had no way to find me. Looking back I refer to it as a toxic relationship and I cant believe I let him treat me like that for so long. The problem is when we love someone we cant imagine meeting anyone else we love as much but just think vack at each time you habe broke up with an ex and how down you are and then all of a sudden you meet your next bf out of nowhere. Im now in a happy relationship and believe me, you feel a lot more confident when you're with someone that appreciates you x
 
Get out of this horrible relationship cycle right now. As awful as it is, he has made it clear that you are a convenience, not a priority. He wants a booty call, not a girlfriend.

Take charge and tell him it's over. Cut all ties. Next time he tries to start things up again, be firm...NO.

Things with my ex took a turn for the worse after 7 years and i was terrified of ending it, but i did. I mourned for about a month, joined the gym and started going out with the girls. Only then did i wonder what the hell had taken me so long?!! I was loving my life like i hadn't in a very long time.

Four months later i met someone. He was really sweet, funny and made me feel like the most gorgeous woman in the world. Even then it took him a month to convince me to give him a chance to be more than friends. On May 9th we'll have been together 3 years and they have been the most incredible 3 years of my life!

Don't stay in this relationship. You are both obviously unhappy with it, but stuck in that rut of familiarity. Get out and give yourself the chance to find true love and happiness with someone that really deserves your time xx
 
Sweetheart, no one can tell you what to do about your situation and your feelings. You've been given lots of advice and opinions, but only you can decide whether this experience is what you feel you deserve after giving so much love and time to another person.
At the end of the day, you deserve to be loved and respected and treated similarly to how you treat another in a relationship.
If you can honestly look at your situation and say that you are in a healthy relationship, then fair enough. If not, and you agree with all the other posters, than it's time to make some hard decisions for your own well being. Best wishes and lots of love xxx
 
Hey there, you just need to think. What is so good about him?
What does he do for you that another man couldnt?
Hes walking all over you because he knows you need him and will let him. And you ringing and ringing him confirms it. Why do you want to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to you!? Just makes you look silly.
If you're gonna do it, mean it, and then your friends will support you if you mean it this time. You'd have to cut all contact with him. He clearly doesnt deserve you and you deserve to be with someone who loves you like you love them. Everybody does! Good luck! Chin up be strong! X
 
Sorry if that sound blunt it didnt mean to be lol! Also something to help is to make plans everyday so you're busy and not sat thinking :) x
 

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