Confusing relationship

[hayleygirl1]

Sorry hun, but I agree with everyone else.

YOU NEED TO RUN, get yourself away from this!

You are the better person and he does not deserve you, there is a nice man out there that is going to whisk your off your feet and treat you how a woman should be treated. But that is not him.

He's treating you like dirt which is also making this an obsession for you, all the calling and chasing is making you feel desperate for his love, but you (unfortunately) can't make someone love you. They will only end up resenting you. Which is why he's ignoring you, being nasty etc.
Although you say you 'love him' this is NOT 'love' this is lush and obsession.
Love is someone who wants to spend time with you, who cares and wants to cherish you, who is not embarrassed to call you his girl on front of his mates, and will blow off a night out with his mates to spend time with you.

This is unhealthy for you not only physically but mentally, and I beg you please please PLEASE get out of this relationship, although it will hurt like hell, the grass will be greener on the otherside, I have seen it and it is beautiful and lush.
You just need to realise this for yourself.
Big hug hun and chin up, we only want what is best for you.

Xxx

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek

 

[Camyuk]

It sound to be that you willing to accept anything just for the idea of being on a relationship like you said you hate being on your own, but sometime its best to he on your own then with someone that will make you feel 10 times worse. You should go on a holiday with ya friends Etc then when you come back you will have a new fresh start . Think about it.

 

[Nails<3]

Please get rid before you lose all self respect!

He is treating you like utter crap and you keep running back. He knows he has you where he wants you. Nothing but a user!

You need to shut him out of your life immediately, delete his number and do not contact him. I know it's easier said than done. If he really wants to be with you he will get you back. I think your there as an option.

Don't ever make yourself just an option for anyone.you sound like such a sweet lovely girl and he is taking the piss! Xx

 

[tonicj]

We teach people how to treat us. This guy is behaving this way because he can. Every time you accept this behaviour you are sending him a message saying that it is ok for him to treat you in this way. You must show him that since he doesn't have any respect for you then you will have it for yourself. Your situation here will NEVER get any better. Why you give him chance after chance I cannot understand. If you do not protect yourself here then believe me no-one else will. You are 100% responsible for yourself in this situation. This is NOT a relationship so take control, step up the mark and for goodness sake move on.

 

[amyvictoria]

I just want to let you all know that I have ended it.
Thankyou all so much for the support and advice, I think that's given me the push to do it. Yesterday and Thursday I was a complete mess, it turned out that he didn't answer the phone because he was at his ex's brothers house, when he told me he was at my friends helping him move house. So he lied to me, but for what reason I don't know because that wouldnt of bothered me if he was seeing his ex's brother?? He used to sneak around alot for stupid reasons and saying he was at home when he was actually out on the piss etc,saying he was on a lads weekend when hes with 2 lads and 4 girls...stuff like that made me feel like he was up to something all the time cause of all the lies,that's where the paranoia kicked in. On the night of my birthday he wouldnt spend it with me cause he said he had to get up for work early, a week later i saw pictures and videos from the night of my birthday of him at his mates house paying pool and drinking. I know im not normally a clingy person but he did honestly make me a clingy person. And if you ever met his family you would know what I mean. His mum would say to me help your self for some dinner, so I would make a sandwich, then I would hear her saying how rude I was down stairs to my ex, or my ex would come up and tell me. It wasn't a nice relationship and I know I'm better off.
I feel so calm now... Lost but calm... I think I will be feeling very lost for a while but in a few weeks it will be better. I think I have made the right decision. It wasn't working, I was paranoid and exhausted and lost all self worth . And I know I will be lonely but it's just something I will have to deal with. The thing with me is that I thought it was love, but the spark had gone and he didn't love me anymore And I was trying so hard to get that love back. Silly girl I know, oh and btw my mother wanted to punch my lights out lol. Things will look up fingers crossed Xxx

 

[lydia c]

Things can only get better , concentrate on your hairdressing and one day you will look back when you've got a man who loves you and laugh at him because he will be sad and lonely ha ha , but well done your better than that it will be hard but chin up sweet Xx

 

[amyvictoria]

Thank you all !!!!

Gonna join the gym, sort myself out and get my hair done. New me time I think. Not gonna give him the holiday money. That's my compensation!! Oh yeah and yesterday he walked into my house with out anyone being there and went into my bedroom without my permission and took his DVDs. How messed up was that? (My brothers went up the road to get their hair cut left the door open cause I was at work) next door neighbour walked in to call for my brother and saw him sat on the stairs. My parents were fuming.
Anyway back on track to getting me back xxx


Xxx

 

[amyvictoria]

Thank you Lydia Hun. Things are **** now but will get better ASAP I'm sure got my whole week booked up next week already and it's only been a day! Xxx

 

[Crystal colleen]

Well done for doing what you have done.

I can guarantee that now isn't as **** as it was when you were with him .

In a couple of weeks if that you will be back on form.From now on don't even speak to him not via the phone or text just cut the ties then you will feel better quicker.x

 

[tonicj]

Well done for doing what you have done.

I can guarantee that now isn't as **** as it was when you were with him .

In a couple of weeks if that you will be back on form.From now on don't even speak to him not via the phone or text just cut the ties then you will feel better quicker.x

Yes I completely agree with Colleen. Completely ignore phone calls, texts etc. If you allow him to talk to you or answer texts then you are sending him a message that there may still be hope. I really hope for your sake that he doesn't get in touch with you and I don't mean to sound cruel. You are very vulnerable at the moment and any contact from him may make you weaken but hopefully you are stronger than that xx

 

[Crystal colleen]

Yes I completely agree with Colleen. Completely ignore phone calls, texts etc. If you allow him to talk to you or answer texts then you are sending him a message that there may still be hope. I really hope for your sake that he doesn't get in touch with you and I don't mean to sound cruel. You are very vulnerable at the moment and any contact from him may make you weaken but hopefully you are stronger than that xx

tonicj is right and all you will do is prolong how you feel for longer.

Also what you feel or felt for him is or was not proper love.It will happen when you least expect it xxx

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Good for you! I really think you have made the right decision and it's fantastic that you are being so proactive and optimistic.

If you ever feel yourself wondering if you did the right thing, come back and read this thread to give you strength xx

 

[amyvictoria]

Thank you. It's so hard tho when someone was such a big part of your life isn't it, I don't know if you lot had this before but today everything I do reminds me of me and him.I went round my friends tonight and she made us some garlic dough balls, just made me think that every time we went to frankie and bennies we would always order garlic dough balls lol. We watched pitch perfect the other day and I was gonna watch it again but I didn't because it reminded me of when we watched it the other night. Little things. That's when the lost feeling comes in. I will keep looking back at this post though everytime I feel sad or lonely. I haven't had any contact from him at all so far. He said he was going to delete my number so he won't feel the need to contact me which is a bonus so he can't mess with my head or anything. And if he does then I'm not going to answer him. Hopefully a mr right will be round the corner soon and will take me away somewhere nice lol. love you all my fellow geeks. Xxx

 

[amyvictoria]

And I've had such good support from friends and family. Will be back to my bubbly self soon no doubt Xxx

 

[w1nnie]

Good for you, it cant have been easy for you. Put it down to experience, and move on.. days to come you will have no regrets :hug:

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

Oh yes, unfortunately we've all been there. It took me a month to completely get control of myself after my break up. I remember shopping in Asda with my Mum and i saw something that i had bought for his niece (it was just before christmas) and that was it...full floods of tears in the fruit aisle by the bananas. People must have thought i was crazy, lol.

Like you said, with the support of your friends and family you will get through this and there will be so many better things to come xx

 

[Miss Sparkle]

You seem like a lovely person so give it a couple of weeks and you'll bounce back. Sometimes the right thing to do and the hardest thing to do are the same thing - so well done

When my abusive ex and I finally broke up I was sad for exactly 24 hours! Then it was all good and I got together with my lovely OH 6 months later. 8 years on, we're still together. So I wish you happiness for the future xxx

 

[Eviestyle]

Im so happy to hear you broke it off!! I found that after I broke up with my ex, a great solid group of friends from a chrisrian church was what I needed. Dont know what you believe in, but since you said you feel a bit lost, this might help you find yourself again..and guess what, thats where I found my husband, the love of my life! Theres one out there for you too!!

 

[Eviestyle]

And I've had such good support from friends and family. Will be back to my bubbly self soon no doubt Xxx

We are all here to support you girl! Stay strong and beautiful!

 

[Jessica15]

Have been following this thread hoping you'd break it off and well done it takes a lot of strength to do it, and going through this rubbish you can get through anything!! Very proud of you xx