Covering letter for hair salon

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lee7smith

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May 9, 2010
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Hi geeks I am applying for a job in a foreign country and wanted you guys to look over my covering letter and get your opinions on what I should add- remove .. Any comments welcome ! Thanks. To S & K directors of salon ....
My name is ... and I am writing to be considered for a position within your expanding team. What appeals to me about working for Salon ... is your friendly personal approach to hair making the client appointment about the whole experience.
Hairdressing has been my life for the past 11 years and as the industry is getting much more creative with colours ,styling and products I love my career choice more than ever . I have recently been to the loreal academy for 2 colour courses as i would like to gain my colour specialist degree in the future.
I feel with my strong ability for Customer care and satisfaction, along with my hair skills, i would be a great asset to your team as it is important for me to be able to build a trusting relationship with each client starting with my consultation profile.

Although my CV provides you with a summary of my working experience to date I would appreciate the opportunity for an interview with yourself so that I can further demonstrate my abilities. You can reach me on ..
I am available to start work anytime required.
Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely -
 
Very good only thing I would say is your sentences are all long which causes me to skim-read from the middle to end, that's not what you want them to do so try and keep each sentence a little shorter.

Other than that, it sounds great :) and I hope you get the job! Xx
 
Very strong content. I hope you get an interview :) Loved your last sentence about them giving you an interview because it sounds ver persuasive.

The only thing I would change is the sentence beginning with "what appeals to me...." because it sounds too colloquial. How about "xyz appeals to me about salonname because ....."

Good luck :)
 
Thanks geeks I will go back over and review my letter:) will let you know how I get on ,x
 

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