Disheartened

[sunflowerfi]

Sorry to be on here moaning again. Had a rubbish day at my job (first day back after Easter hols; I'm a teaching assistant) then I went to my parents to get my kids and spoke briefly about my plans of setting up my own business putting my beauty and massage qualifications to use and I got told 'just get a normal job' 'everyone hates their job just get on with it' 'you'll never make a regular income having your own business'
I feel like crying. Like such a failure with my life: 35, broken marriage to an abusive partner, no career as such, a house that's falling to bits. Ironically I wanted to study hair or beauty at college when I was 16 but got told to do a levels and a degree (which I did which got me no where)
Sorry to moan but had to get it off my chest xxxx

 

[Paige.xx]

Oh bless your heart. It is hard working for yourself but stay determined. Don't let the comments affect you. The comments should make you even more determined to prove them wrong. Your parents will only be worrying but stick at it. Use the comments to make you stronger. X

 

[Ruby S]

This makes me sad. You will have rough days and you are obviously having one now. Paigexx is right, your folks are probably worried for you, but you need to make a change in order to make yourself happy. Can you look into a part time job employed in a salon for a while alongside your mobile business, as some guaranteed income? But get you away from your horrible current work place...
I really feel for you. I hope you feel more positive soon. X

 

[sunflowerfi]

I'm looking for a part time salon job. They sadly all seem to want a years salon experience but I've only ever done clients in college and mobile clients.
I'd do s part time office job while I build my business up but there don't seem to be many jobs. I just hope it all works out. Xxx

 

[What's your dream]

Your post struck a chord with me so felt I should share my story with you. Hopefully it will brighten your day.

I'm 47 years young. I've been married and divorced twice. My first marriage was abusive I had 3 children and got the courage to leave him when my youngest was only 2years old. I remarried in 2006 to a wonderful man. Unfortunately he cheated on me with a so called friend of mine 4 weeks after I introduced them in 2011!!!! I have been hairdressing since I left school in 1984. In 2004 I became a hairdressing lecturer. I gave this up to follow my second husband to USA with his job. When we returned in 2010 they had changed the rules so without a degree in maths and English I could no longer teach hairdressing. My husband left me in March 2011 with less than nothing!!!! I hit rock bottom.
I pulled myself together and started mobile hairdressing as well as 2days a week in a salon, working in local pub and cleaning other people's houses, just to make ends meet for almost 5 years. I took several courses to update my skills as well as get my confidence back. It's been very very hard but in December I opened my own hairdressing salon. I finally feel like I'm getting my life in order and although often exhausted, as I'm working all hours in the salon on my own still.
I'm happy and extremely proud of myself yes it hard yes it's stressful but I feel alive and I've learned I'm much stronger than I ever thought I was.
If you want it bad enough and are prepared to work your socks off I would say go for it.
I wish you well with whatever you decide. X

 

[Iseeiwant]

This was just how i felt today. I retrained in my twenties, seven years of hard slog following other peoples advice instead of my heart! I only have my dad as my champion and sometimes life gets in the way and tries to get the better of me. I had a word with myself earlier, reminded myself how hard i've worked since last September (i'm studying level 2 beauty). I'm 38 and finally taking control. I know it's not going to be easy, but i'm not scared of rolling up my sleeves and getting stuck in. Looking forward to sticking two fingers up at the doubters and making my dad proud!

 

[RED STAR]

GO GIRL GO.........
There's nothing better than proving the doubters wrong

 

[Cathi44]

I totally feel for you. I too wanted to train as a beautician when I left school but was 'persuaded' to go the route of A-levels and a degree (all of which I hated, and just left me in debt) I then spent 15 years in advertising, which at the end left me stressed out & verging on a breakdown. Being made redundant was the best thing that could of happened !! I was at rock bottom.... I lost my Dad, my flat, my job and my mind within a short space of time and decided enough was enough.... I took a job in a pub and went back to school full time to retrain in beauty. My plan was to set up my own beauty business and (when I'd got some good experience behind me) head for Spain and set up my salon there. Everyone thought I was bonkers, some disapproved, some thought I was brave. Hey presto..... 6 years later I'm still in Spain, still running (and loving!) my business and my life. I will never be rich, but I am without stress (mostly!) and more than anything, I'm happy, and actually quite like myself again. Don't rely on other people to tell you what's right for you. From what you've said, you've been through hell and come out the other side, so use your strength and your self belief and give it a go. What's the worst that can happen?! If it helps, I worked a couple of days a week in a salon for nothing just so I could gain some industry experience before I totally went it alone. I really hope it all works our for you (keep us posted!) Sending positive thoughts your way x

 

[Paige.xx]

Let's be honest who wants a 'normal' Job! I love doing hair & that's it! I had a year out of hair due to mortgage & my clients didn't really like the salon I was working from so I told them I would call them when I'm up and running from home! I really enjoyed my new job until I got as high as I could get! There was no more promotions, I had a job! Whereas when I do hair I have a career! If that is what you love please don't get disheartened. My parents always worry when I think about going on my own (I've done it before but as said clients didn't like the salon so I lost a lot :-(!) but if it's what you want please don't give up! Dust yourself off & start again! Start to have a plan for what you want to achieve when you leave your 'normal' job!! x

 

[PamieD]

OP It's just a crap time with the economy right now, that's all. And anyone who has a degree and a roof over their head still has a massive advantage over others and a big achievement, no matter whether you enjoyed doing it or not.Always easy to be wise after the event. And unfortunately the majority of the public will never look at beauty as a 'real' job, that's just something that you can't take to heart. People always like to look down on others. Just do what's best for your kids. Gonna take a while for things to get back to normal.

 

[sunflowerfi]

Wow! So many inspirational replies. I feel better now. I've spent 15 years in 'normal jobs' which have got me no where; either stressed out or facing redundancy so I don't think I'm being stupid by looking at an alternative rather than spend another ten years drifting from miserable job to miserable job.
I stayed in an abusive marriage longer than I should because I was scared of appearing like a failure or letting my family down by divorcing when they paid for the wedding and gave us a deposit on the house. Xx