do you spoil your kids????

[sj1973]

i have been surprised lately that my 14 year old son comes home and says he wants a laptop as his friends have one....when asked more he said....my friends get what they want all the time as in ....psp,ps3!!!!!!!! for nothing this is...there parents just go out and buy it for there kids....now,i DONT spoil my children....my son wanted a laptop so he saved his pocket money and brought one £300 that is,we were so proud that he saved....he washes cars for our family for £5....he gets £6 pocket money each week....apart from when he has been naughty,,,,or not tidyed his bedroom he then gets money taken away ....same goes for my other 2 kids aswell.....just wandered if everyone thought like me and that some parents make it bad for us as we try and bring our kids up to think that money does not grow on trees?????

 

[gillian w]

I wish i could say i don't but i guess i do spoil mine .I just like to get them the things they want ,although they do generally have to wait until birthdays and christmas.
I dont think they are any the worse for it my sons lovely natured,my daughter can be a brat but no more than many girls her age.She has just got her first part time job and i will be interested to see what she is going to do with her first wages blow it all or be sensible and put some away.

 

[beautyseeker]

Well you know all about my GHD problem!

I get that all the time, "so and so has this, why cant I have it". I say back, "well of course you can have it sweetheart, once you get a job and start earning your own money then you can buy what you like".

Trish :hug:

 

[Kim Lawless]

I must admit that I have always spoilt my daughter but now she's 23 and working, she spoils me too. I don't regret a minute of it and she a very loving and giving person.

 

[melissaq]

Well mine are all grown and gone now..... but !..... no I did not spoil mine.....sure I gave them nice things....and they had everything they "needed" ...but as far as everything they "wanted"..... I'm sorry they had to work for it ...

I felt and still believe we have to work for what you want.....and now that my kids are older they understand this concept......

quick story......

when my kids were about 12-10ish ...I caught them counting there gifts under the tree....and comparing how much they were potentially worth.....well this made me so angry.... As all the presents were already wrapped and done up I gathered my kids together and told them to enjoy the presents they received ..........because next year they would not be getting any......so the next year came round and to their astonishment no presents were bought.....( hardest thing I did ) I made them think about what they had done the year before and made them remember how fortunate they were to have what they did ....so we worked at a local shelter for the holiday instead of doing the gifts......from that time on .....(and I know they were small )they still remember that holiday .....and now.....they are thankful and work hard for every thing they now have ........

 

[kellyhacker]

i dont think i spoil my son if he wants something really bad for ages then he may get it for birthday or xmas or if its not too expensive he can work towards it with his reward chart i could never not buy him xmas pressies the joy on his face when he opens a present is priceless no matter how cheap or expensive the present is!!
i wasnt spoilt as a kid i was never allowed the cool trainers or cool school shoes (kickers were the rage then!) and so now i think it has affected me in that if i want something nice il buy it if i have the money or not!! (using the reason that i missed out as a kid so im not missing out now!) but i still think i appreciate things (shoes last me forever!!) and i think my son does too even at his young age as he often mentions he would like to go to work today to get the pennies to buy such and such item!! so smiles all round!

 

[Seductive]

My son is terribly spoilt and It's not a good thing.

He has toys in every room stacked in boxes and I clear them out and take them to the charity shops often

For me It started when he was a baby and I'd see something and think awwww thats lovely and by him it and hes 5 now and still hasnt stopped.

I know were not doing him any favours or learning him the value of something and I dont by him it to shut him up If he wants something I do generally get him it.

When we were young we were not well off I dont know if it comes from that. we didnt have much.

You would be shocked, when I was pregnant we bought 3 differnet prams for him. I think I have a shopping obsession and maybe I need help!!!!!

I never spend money on myself its alaways on my son :cry:

 

[gillian w]

i dont think i spoil my son if he wants something really bad for ages then he may get it for birthday or xmas or if its not too expensive he can work towards it with his reward chart i could never not buy him xmas pressies the joy on his face when he opens a present is priceless no matter how cheap or expensive the present is!!
i wasnt spoilt as a kid i was never allowed the cool trainers or cool school shoes (kickers were the rage then!) and so now i think it has affected me in that if i want something nice il buy it if i have the money or not!! (using the reason that i missed out as a kid so im not missing out now!) but i still think i appreciate things (shoes last me forever!!) and i think my son does too even at his young age as he often mentions he would like to go to work today to get the pennies to buy such and such item!! so smiles all round!

Interesting point of view that because you didnt get what you wanted as a child you treat yourself now.I remember asking for a certain doll for christmas and getting the next best thing but it wasnt what i really wanted it was barbie and i got a sindy.I know i should have been grateful but i was so disappointed.
I do think of this when buying for my own children now and only ever give them what they ask for and dont try and get them something else and hope they will be ok with it.Id rather just say they cant have it.

 

[beautynails]

Whenever anybody sees my daughters room they think she is spoilt, but in reality she isn't.

She has her own stereo- a combined xmas/birthday present that's now about 4 years old.

Her own TV (that's bigger then mine)- she bought herself

Laptop ( a really good one)- a hand me down from my stepmother when work bought her a new one.

PS2- xmas/bday pressie


She gets a clothing allowance of $20 a week and she is responsible for buying everything fom that, including shoes, socks, underwear etc, not just the fun stuff.
She also get paid $20 a week for doing jobs.
The kitchen is completely her responibility to keep clean, dishes, fridge, stove, floors, everything, she also has to take out the rubbish, clean the bathroom once a week, keep her room clean, iron her school clothes, & cook twice on Tuesday & Thursday nights.
From that money she has to pay for anything she wants/needs. For big school excursions I'll go halves paying, but other then that, I NEVER give her money. She pays for sport, outings, everything, if she can't pay for it, sshe can't do it.

 

[the nail fairy]

Well mine are all grown and gone now..... but !..... no I did not spoil mine.....sure I gave them nice things....and they had everything they "needed" ...but as far as everything they "wanted"..... I'm sorry they had to work for it ...

I felt and still believe we have to work for what you want.....and now that my kids are older they understand this concept......

quick story......

when my kids were about 12-10ish ...I caught them counting there gifts under the tree....and comparing how much they were potentially worth.....well this made me so angry.... As all the presents were already wrapped and done up I gathered my kids together and told them to enjoy the presents they received ..........because next year they would not be getting any......so the next year came round and to their astonishment no presents were bought.....( hardest thing I did ) I made them think about what they had done the year before and made them remember how fortunate they were to have what they did ....so we worked at a local shelter for the holiday instead of doing the gifts......from that time on .....(and I know they were small )they still remember that holiday .....and now.....they are thankful and work hard for every thing they now have ........

Good for you!!! I bet they learned to appreciate what Christmas is all about.


Sincerely;
Janet

 

[hippy-chick]

I think you can achieve a happy medium

I give my son £5 a week pocket money. If he wants to save up for something, then he can do.

He's always coming home saying his friend has just been bought a new game or got a new PSP or something, but we've explained that his dad works long hours and doesn't see his son as much as our son see's us.

He gets about £200 spent on him at christmas.

He has told me his fav bit of christmas is the stockings, as I do one for all of us and we all sit in my bed and open them, even the dog gets one.
So I spend ages choosing those presents and get lots of laughs.

Managed to get him a wii and am signed up for alerts to get cheap games, just got WWF smackdown for £20 instead of £35.

His birthday in 2 weeks time, he's getting a £35 mobile phone, which I've been saving stamps for so its already paid for. Now I've got my son to put the £1 coins in the stamp machine and he watches me sticking the stamps in the booklet, and can see that I am saving up for his birthday present, so trying to instill the fact that parents have to budget.

it really sickens me that we are surrounded by people who go over the top re: presents. Our ex next door neighbour would buy 20 expensive presents for her son, it had to be 20 it had to be expensive, otherwise she couldn't hold her head up!!!! glad when she moved out.

 

[dee]

i have spoilt james from when he was a baby , and half the time he does just expect stuff (like everytime we go out !!) but we started a chart and he can only have someting if he has been good all week and done x amount of good things, he did have his own playstation, telly, dvd in his room but i took em off him coz it was too much stimulation and made him a brat , lol
this xmas we r getting him an electric guitar and lesson so that he is learning something as well as having fun
poor olivia just seems to fit in and she doesnt have half of what he had at he age which makes me upset but if id do it , i am doing it for the sake of it not coz she needs it , shes not even 2 yet , lol
i find everyone spends loads more on their first child until they have others then they all even out , lol

 

[hippy-chick]

I went to London on the weekend.
I got up with my son this morning and haven't seen him since Thursday evening.
His first question was, 'did you buy me anything?'. which I hadn't, he shrugged and got into bed and cuddled up to me and told me all about his football matches.
So, think I've got a happy medium.

 

[beautyseeker]

Whenever anybody sees my daughters room they think she is spoilt, but in reality she isn't.

She has her own stereo- a combined xmas/birthday present that's now about 4 years old.

Her own TV (that's bigger then mine)- she bought herself

Laptop ( a really good one)- a hand me down from my stepmother when work bought her a new one.

PS2- xmas/bday pressie


She gets a clothing allowance of $20 a week and she is responsible for buying everything fom that, including shoes, socks, underwear etc, not just the fun stuff.
She also get paid $20 a week for doing jobs.
The kitchen is completely her responibility to keep clean, dishes, fridge, stove, floors, everything, she also has to take out the rubbish, clean the bathroom once a week, keep her room clean, iron her school clothes, & cook twice on Tuesday & Thursday nights.
From that money she has to pay for anything she wants/needs. For big school excursions I'll go halves paying, but other then that, I NEVER give her money. She pays for sport, outings, everything, if she can't pay for it, sshe can't do it.

I am going to show this to my daughter to show that she is not the only one who has to pay for stuff out of her pocket money. She is only just 13 but this is definately the route I am going to take. Thanks Beautynails.

Trish :hug:

 

[sj1973]

intresting thread.....my sons freind see his dad every 2 weeks....evry time he goes to school he tells my son what he has....the new phone just come out....the new ps3....x-box 360....now i told my son he could be lying but he took the new phone to school !!...told my son that he does not appericate anything he gets and when he gets older,he will run to daddy asking for EVERYTHING,...i said 1 day his dad will say no...then his mate will be lost ,i said you save up for your stuff so you appericate it more....my kids get what they want for xmas or birthday (with in reason)...but if they wanted x-box 360 and ps3 i would say NO pick 1.

 

[beautynails]

I am going to show this to my daughter to show that she is not the only one who has to pay for stuff out of her pocket money. She is only just 13 but this is definately the route I am going to take. Thanks Beautynails.

Trish :hug:

My daughter is 13 too (14 in Jan). Since she's been little she's had to work for things. Now she is such a tight ****. She barely spends a cent.

We went shopping for her summer clothes a couple of weeks ago, & she wouldn't buy anything, even though she had more than $300 in her clothes account. I ended taking her card & saying I was going to buy myself some new clothes:lol:. She ended up spending $125 & said that was everything she needed for the season.

 

[hayls]

I dont think I spoil my kids. If they want something during the year and its not close to birthdays, then I tell them that if they are good Santa might get it for them. My sons birthday is 28th December, so nobody but us and my Mum spoil him then, he gets the 'this is for Christmas and your birthday' thing, which I think is sad, he'll be 5 next bless him!

If theyve both been good then I might get them a colouring book and felts, and a kinder egg, but thats kind of once every 3 weeks (ish).

I hear so many of their friends saying 'I want, I want, I want' and they always get, I dont see how this will ever enable them to earn the value of money, and realise that Mum and Dad are not bottemless pits of money!

When they are a bit older we will start giving them a bit of pocket money, so they can save for things they ask for in the year then, rather than waiting till Christmas.

I have never seen the need to buy throughout the year as they have so much for Christmas.

When Harry was born, his first Christmas, he wasnt even 1 and I went so over board, buying him everything , we paid for it that year as we were totally skint, and we gave away alot or sold it on ebay, as he never played with it! So now we stick to a budget, it gets them everything they ask for and more, so its not all doom and gloom! lol!

xxx

 

[Coppertop]

My twins and step son has everything they need but not everything they want.
I treat them all from time to time but i don't just buy for them when they say they want something, god i'd be homeless if i did.
I think in this day and age you can't bring your kids up where they get everything the want otherwise they will soon fall flat on their faces when it comes time for them to support themselves.
You have to get the balance right.
Nothing wrong with saying no we can't afford it or we'll have to save, learns them a good lesson " Money doesn't grow on trees!"

 

[beautyseeker]

My daughter is 13 too (14 in Jan). Since she's been little she's had to work for things. Now she is such a tight ****. She barely spends a cent.

We went shopping for her summer clothes a couple of weeks ago, & she wouldn't buy anything, even though she had more than $300 in her clothes account. I ended taking her card & saying I was going to buy myself some new clothes:lol:. She ended up spending $125 & said that was everything she needed for the season.

I know what you mean, mine would be quite happy to spend my money :irked: but does not want to spend her own! :hug:

 

[hippy-chick]

I bought my son a hoodie jacket a few weeks ago in the sales for £14. Unfortunately the zip kept coming away in the centre so I took it back and got a refund.

I took him today to get a replacement, and he saw one he liked, so we were just walking up to the till and I noticed it was £19. I told him I couldn't get it for him as it was more than the original one and I;m skint.

He was fine about it, a bit disappointed, but hey! Lifes a bitch.

He got a top for £10 instead and said that there was always Christmas to get something like that!

I bless him for being so understanding but its because I've instilled in him the value of money.

He still asks, but if I say no, he doesn't whine, whinge or have a tantrum.