hi and welcome to salon geek!
It seems to be a common misconception, but this is not the place to ask for DIY advice, this forum is maintained as a professionals community and most posters are professionally qualified.
Yes, there is a consumer section but think of this as an area where you can ask questions that you might ask your real life hairdresser or manicurist, but for free, and from the comfort of your own home.
In this instance, the only professional advice we could give is to not try to do this on yourself at home. There is a whole lot of damage these products can do (as you are finding out) and it can even be permanent or life-threatening. This is not to scare you, but it really is best to get some training before attempting to use these acrylic products (and gel is an acrylic product) even if it is just on yourself and especially if you are already struggling and damaging your nails.