Emotional Client

[VHunter]

I have a new client.
Yesterday was only her second time coming.
Lovely woman, from down south. We get on famously.
She had sounded odd on the phone when she called to say she'd be late.
When she got here, she was clearly distraught and me being me, said "you look like you need a hug".
I hugged her and she promptly started sobbing. I told her to let it out, that it was ok. I mean, what else could I do? At first she was apologetic and slightly embarassed. I told her not to worry. That this is a safe place, there's no judgement here. It's neutral ground. I'm a vault and what is said here, STAYS here. That as much as I can yammer, I can listen too. I showed her a plaque my friend needlepointed for me that reads
"Manicurists make good therapists. They hold your hands while listening to your problems".
She giggled and said "just like a bartender". I answered "naaahh, I'm prettier and smell nicer". She giggled.
She had a good vent afterwards, and it seems her family is taking her for granted and really running her around the bend. There's more to it, and she had PLENTY to cry about. She earned those tears.

Afterwards, after I had finished fixing her nails up, and got her laughing and smiling again... she was so thankful. She seemed in a much better place. I see her again in a bit over a week.

Anyway... my question is this:
Has it ever happened to you? It threw me for a loop. I do barely know the woman. At first I was startled, and then just did what I do for my long time friends. What else could I do? She was hurting. People have vented to me on many occasion, but this was a tad different. I don't really know her. We hadn't had a chance to build a 'relationship', know what I mean?
I was wiped out afterwards, using every bit of energy I had to 'bring her up' from her dark place. Know what I mean?
I felt lost, and so afraid to say the wrong thing. I didn't want to overstep my bounds, but she was lost and only recently moved here from the states. So she doesn't really have a 'network' of friends here yet.

How often have you seen/done this sort of thing in your work?
Do you often feel like you're a client's shrink?
If it happened to you, did you feel a tad lost?

 

[nailzoo]

OFTEN !!!!!!
I find more mature and financially established clients are drawn to me (they all think they are my mother) ... even though I'm 45, they still see me as a "boy".

Unfortunately (though I dint mind) many of these clients are also going through "the change", emotionally unpredictable and it's a very odd situation to be in as a man when a client bursts into tears and needs that extra support and understanding (they spill their guts to me, even the younger ones) and have often been in tears myself at the end of the day.

I have learned to take it in my stride and new clients find it quite odd when I (actually it's the client) that gives me quite a long hug and a kiss on the cheek when they leave. (I also get flowers, cards and emails of thanks weekly), it's almost embarrassing (particularly when I'm expecting them from Brad Pitt).

The funny thing is, the new client thinks this is expected of them also and it has turned the salon into a hugging, air kissing, emotional circus.

 

[VHunter]

The gifts..

See, that's the thing of it too.
Another of my clients who is also a friend, showed up 15min early. She's handling the dj/music side for my wedding. Her gift to me.
So, the newbie (the distraught one) started asking what I had done so far, what still needed doing... and I couldn't think of anything.
She said "what are y'all doing for a honeymoon".
So, I answered straight up "the night of the wedding, we'll probably come straight back home and the kids will sleep at a friends. The next day we'll likely head out for 3-4 days of camping. Just to get away from phones and kids. Can't really afford anything fancier, but the peace and quiet will be great".
Soooo
She wants to give us our wedding night at a fancy dancy well known hotel in downtown Montreal, 20min from us. I feel that is far too much and really... she is only a new client. I didn't want her to feel that she had to do anything. She apparently has connections that give special rates.
I was still trying to talk her out of it as she left... But I fear she's as stubborn as I am and has made up her own mind. I do NOT want her feeling as she has to do anything for me. Know what I mean?
All I did was give a hug and listen.

And that's the other part of the dilemma, how do I turn it down without offending her? A gift like that from a long time friend or family member, ok, I can see it. But she doesn't know me?

As for Brad Pitt, hope you get your call soon, Carl
:lol:

And as for the hugs and kisses, it IS expected here in Montreal LOL
Everyone kisses each cheek and hugs for hello AND goodbye.
Just part of the culture here, I guess hehehe

 

[nailzoo]

sometimes you should accept, as refusal can often offend, I have a client that spends hundreds and hundreds on my dog, when she had a puppy, she bought bed , food, toys, even wanted to pay for vaccinations (which left my parent with very little to buy) and I'm talking a $300 reversible bed.

She buys for their (the dogs) birthdays as well as mine, every Xmas she buys me a complete one place Versace dinner setting, only last week she gave me a pure Pashmina Zebra striped scarf....... I don't have a choice, she just leaves a wrapped gift. I am very lucky.

They sometimes get around me by giving me gifts saying they are from their own dogs to mine, or me.

I was quite sick once (pneumonia) and didn't want to take the time off ...... well my client paid my income, outgoings, wages and rent for 2 weeks to make sure I took the time off (I paid her back).

Sometimes it gets quite out of control, but what you have to realise is .... it pleases these people to help. As long as there is no "catch" it's fine.

I actually had a slinging match with my most generous client, explaining in a very heated argument, that she made me feel "insignificant" and unable to be a provider for my dog or myself.

I never expected her to return .... well she came back 2 weeks later for her usual appointment, apologized profusely and gave me a Crystal Versace bottle stopper to seal the deal (pardon the pun).

I can't win, so I give in.

I now let them do whatever makes them feel good and after 20 years have never had it thrown back in my face (unlike past lovers) who readily bring up "I've done this and I've done that".

Every now and then I give them a free polish/cuticle oil and in return I get Versace or an addition to my Royal Doulton collection..... I've given up, smile and I'm their prodigal son. What else can I do?

 

[adelekeegan1]

sometimes you should accept, as refusal can often offend, I have a client that spends hundreds and hundreds on my dog, when she had a puppy, she bought bed , food, toys, even wanted to pay for vaccinations (which left my parent with very little to buy) and I'm talking a $300 reversible bed.

She buys for their (the dogs) birthdays as well as mine, every Xmas she buys me a complete one place Versace dinner setting, only last week she gave me a pure Pashmina Zebra striped scarf....... I don't have a choice, she just leaves a wrapped gift. I am very lucky.

They sometimes get around me by giving me gifts saying they are from their own dogs to mine, or me.

I was quite sick once (pneumonia) and didn't want to take the time off ...... well my client paid my income, outgoings, wages and rent for 2 weeks to make sure I took the time off (I paid her back).

Sometimes it gets quite out of control, but what you have to realise is .... it pleases these people to help. As long as there is no "catch" it's fine.

I actually had a slinging match with my most generous client, explaining in a very heated argument, that she made me feel "insignificant" and unable to be a provider for my dog or myself.

I never expected her to return .... well she came back 2 weeks later for her usual appointment, apologized profusely and gave me a Crystal Versace bottle stopper to seal the deal (pardon the pun).

I can't win, so I give in.

I now let them do whatever makes them feel good and after 20 years have never had it thrown back in my face (unlike past lovers) who readily bring up "I've done this and I've done that".

Every now and then I give them a free polish/cuticle oil and in return I get Versace or an addition to my Royal Doulton collection..... I've given up, smile and I'm their prodigal son. What else can I do?

You could send them round to me

I have a few very generous clients - cash tips mostly but one that really bothers me. This lady is having a really hard time health and personal wise, she says that coming to me restores her sanity and she always end up laughing like a drain.

A couple of months ago she rang me up 3 times in a fortnight for replacement of a single nail each time and was obviously stressed for each appointment. She updated me each time on her latest disaster but there isn't really much time in a repair to have much of a chat. At her routine maintenance appointment I asked her gently what she had been doing to lose 3 nails and she admitted to removing them as an excuse to come and talk. This horrified me and I told her that she must never do this again - just ring me. I didn't know what else to say, she has some real problems and I like her very much............but.

 

[VHunter]

You've made some very good points, Carl. As usual.
I will bite my tongue and graciously say thank you.

:green:

 

[Susie H]

You've made some very good points, Carl. As usual.
I will bite my tongue and graciously say thank you.

:green:

Not so long back I was really worried about my Paul and ended up blubbering all over my assistant manager, I to felt embarrassed about my out burst but equally I left his office feeling so much lighter and able to cope with the world.
This lady needed someone who wasn't involved in her problems to unload on and heaven sent there you were. So long as she can afford the gift I say enjoy it:hug:
Carl is as usual right:lol:

 

[soriminah]

I had a client once give me a Louis Vuitton wallet as a gift when she'd been away on holiday. Also a shower kit - you know they sort with the shower gel, powder etc. I was gobsmacked both times.

Occassionally people will pay me and tell me to keep the change. I say 'are you sure?. If they say yes, then I say thank you. I just look at it as them being more than happy with the service I provide.

 

[VHunter]

Well, in our neck of the woods, tips are expected and assumed as part of our salary.
It applies to: hairdressers, nail techs, waitresses, bartenders, taxi drivers, etc etc etc...

So, when we don't get one, we're stunned.

But the gifts are always a surprise.

I guess what surprises me is how people open up to me, and this was even before I became a tech. As much as I can yammer on and on, I can listen and offer a shoulder.

I just never expected a client to crumple to the extent that she did, and it caught me by surprise.
Glad to know I'm not nuts and it happens to all of us.