Family volunteering your services!

[sammi010]

Does anyone else get narked by this or am I just being unreasonable?

My Mum has relatives staying with her this weekend and I am going over there tonight for tea. Also have to go back Sunday for Easter lunch and have met with much dissapproval as I am not available for duty tomorrow due to working. Apparently I shouldn't be working as it's a bank holiday! I'm self employed and at the moment with a baby on the way every penny counts!

That aside I've just spoken to her and when I go over tonight she has offered one of the relatives an Indian Head massage. I didn't realise I was going over there to work! I can't really say no without embarrasing Mum and then she's offered to pay me for it to make things worse! Of course I can't let my Mum pay me. She knows I've had to cut back on my massage hours, am 30 weeks and my back is starting to object, I know it's not a full body massage and it wont kill me but still.

And to top it off as last week was full of nails, tans and brows for holidays and I've got no massage clients until late next week I put a full set of lovely long nails on earlier in the week which I'll have to hack down now.

 

[linzi]

You have my sympathies - my mum is exactly the same!

Even when it comes to her friends - "oh, They do me favours, so you can't charge her £15 (which was already greatly reduced!)!".

My mum's not into having beauty treatments or going to the hairdressers (She will ask me to take the dead ends off, which I hate as I have no idea what I'm doing!) So she totally doesn't appreciate the price of them.

Now that I live so far away, she cant do this anymore. I love her to bits, but I'm glad I moved!

 

[AcidPerm]

That's a bit cheeky of her. She doesn't think you should work a bank holiday despite getting paid for it, but she's happy to offer your services to a random person for free in your limited down time.
Personally, I'd say I can't do it for pregnancy reasons and let her be embarrassed.
That way, she's less likely to drop you in it in the future if you stand your ground now and I'd also tell her that it's a sad state of affairs if your own mum can't be 100% supportive of you when you're pregnant.

 

[Lady Murasaki]

I would set a precedent and politely refuse to do the service, stating that due to you being pregnant you are not able to do it.

I think what has happened here reading between the lines is that your mum may have innocently as an off the cuff remark, said to one of your relatives about having a treatment done, not thinking they might actually take her up on the offer (or take offer seriously)and when they have said YES, she now feels an obligation to follow through.

Hence why she is offering to pay you as she feels guilty for mentioning it.

This your mums mistake and she needs to take responsibility and rectify the situation, even if it means loosing face

 

[Beauty belle19]

If you feel like you want to do it this time to keep the peace but 100% sit down with your mum asap and explain exactly how you feel. I'd also take the money because as someone has pointed out, she was happy to offer on your behalf.

It's not fair for her to offer without asking you first. My family are the opposite and never ask but I've had friends who think they are doing me a favour. Once a friend told her friend I would go mobile to do a hen party and put it to me like 'it will be a good earner for you and you will get clients from it' (I don't do mobile) I turned it around as she is a teacher so I said 'I don't do mobile and wouldn't tell my friends with children that you will tutor them on a Saturday!' We didn't fall out at all but it got the point across

 

[sammi010]

wouldn't tell my friends with children that you will tutor them on a Saturday!' We didn't fall out at all but it got the point across

Exactly!

I can't really play the pregnancy card It's just not me, and they all know I'm still working and planning on doing so as long as I can. Will just have to suck it up. Not sure why it's annoyed me so much.