Have you had much support?

[Soz]

Hi guys

Feeling a bit pants at the mo so feeling sorry for myself :sad: . Just wondered how much support you feel you've had from husbands/partners in setting yourself up in business, mobile or even just doing your training? I feel like I've found something that I really love doing for the first time (years spent doing dreary admin jobs and still doing so!!) and yet I feel I've got to do it in spite of him instead of because of him. We've got a little boy of three and a half and my partner has recently embarked on a 2 year degree and sometimes I just feel like "when will my time come"? Of course I don't begrudge my son a minute of my time and I've tried to be as supportive to my partner as I possibly can but I really want to set up my own mobile business and without the reassurance that he's happy to look after our son evenings and weekends this seems like such an uphill struggle.

Sorry...just needed a moan...

 

[vicky]

I guess i was lucky....my hubbie has been 110% behind me on this. But i was warned that this would be my last venture and if it didnt work or i got bored i would have to work in asda (nothing wrong with shop work). I was in college 2 yrs b4 training in social work and passed all my exams only to tell him i really wanted to train in nails...as you can guess he wasnt happy but he totally understood and backed me. He is now backing me with the shop so im a very lucky lady..! and doing the best job in the world..

Hi guys

Feeling a bit pants at the mo so feeling sorry for myself :sad: . Just wondered how much support you feel you've had from husbands/partners in setting yourself up in business, mobile or even just doing your training? I feel like I've found something that I really love doing for the first time (years spent doing dreary admin jobs and still doing so!!) and yet I feel I've got to do it in spite of him instead of because of him. We've got a little boy of three and a half and my partner has recently embarked on a 2 year degree and sometimes I just feel like "when will my time come"? Of course I don't begrudge my son a minute of my time and I've tried to be as supportive to my partner as I possibly can but I really want to set up my own mobile business and without the reassurance that he's happy to look after our son evenings and weekends this seems like such an uphill struggle.

Sorry...just needed a moan...

 

[diesel1978]

Aww hun things will get better i can assure you!!
My partner has never backed me in anything i do......i had to sneak to college just to get my qualifications!!
I have 2 children and he has never looked after them up until the past few months......he does not work just likes to spend my money.....and he has forever put obstacles in my way ....made me feel like a bad mother when i have tried to go out and earn......prevented me from doing my clients by taking the car off me......embarrassing me when clients turn up at my home!!
I put up with 10 years of this from the age of 15......until last year i hit 25 and everything hit home.......after a very big shake up he now helps out alot more but it's too late......after all this time of not helping and not being supportive i have become too independant and organise everything so that it keeps me and the children happy lol!
And now the children are getting bigger it leaves me free to work when i want.....caitlin is at school fulltime and diesel goes to nursery every morning and i have the option of leaving him their longer if i need to work later.......whatever obstacles get in my way now i just leap right over.......i spend plenty of quality time with my kids and work when i want!!

Your partner is obviously nothing like mine.....have u talked to him about looking after them.....the answer may be the one u r looking for!!
If not look at alternatives.......if you cant afford to pay baby sitters etc what about asking friends /family and pay them in luxurious treatments lol!!
You can do it hn what ever obstacles are put in your way....go for it!!

 

[*JOANNE*]

i know where your coming from.a bit,
i was in the navy until i had my first my husband stayed in the royal marines me in portsmouth him in plymouth and one day he said he was leaving because he missed the boys. he now works for a premiership footy club and is away all the time.
any how kids started school i did en home learn i had his full backing, financially as well but alas trying to set up mobile with three kids no family and hubby away all the time.
he promised things would change he would change his job to spend more time with us.....but it never happened.
christmas just gone i lost it so we put the house on the market and moved back near my family with a promise from hubby to relocate up here...........again nothing.
i have been saving so hard as i want to do ez flow foundation course but again i cant book it because of his job and asking people to look after 3 boys while i go off and do it is not an option.........they can be hard work for me let alone any one else.
i think the most frustrating thing is.probably for most of us..we love nails so much that you get so angry at not being able to fullfill this love.
to make matters worse the house we moved into is a s..t hole and i have had it rewired this week while he is away.
new windows being fitted while he is away...........
what a happy lot we are
p.s so nice to whinge sometimes isnt it

 

[Jaffacake]

Ok, I must be one of the lucky ones... My hubby couldnt be more supportive! Hes spent the whole day today trying to get my website up and running, this morning before he started he was making me some magnetic signs for my car!:o and designing my leaflets.

He is always encouraging me, not just in my nails but in whatever im up to (usually dieting!) he'll go shopping with me looking at all the labels lol.

Maybe he just wants a skinny wife who can afford to pay all the bills??? LOL x

 

[GlitzyGirl]

I know just what you mean Soz. I have an angel of a husband, who works very hard. But when it comes to me working his exact words are "Why do you want to work, when I am making enough for everything. You have enough running the house and the kids". I am grateful to him for providing everything for me and the kids, but he jsut does'nt seem to understand my need for a little more independence financially. He seems to be coming round to my way of thinking lately though, or he's just given up. I must sound like a real b...h, when I've got a great hubby, but we all need to let off steam sometimes. What else can I ask for?, he's paid for my training, buys all my products etc. and goes to the nail shows with me to carry everyting I buy. Though after Olympia this year, he said never again.
I am sure your partner will come around, if he sees you're serious enough. He does'nt need to support you (though it would be great),as long as he does'nt get in your way.

Sorry to go on

 

[Lily]

Hiya,


I must admit that my Hubby (Herman) is so supportive and he really enjoys this industry, he books me on courses without telling me while i am at work, he helps out on the Nailorder Stand at the exhibitions, he looks up loads of info for me, makes my clients coffes and such while they are waiting for appointment and he really supports me when i have to go to London for 4 days without him. He looks after our daughter (she is 6) allthough i do have tp prepare all her unifroms and stick postits on them for each day, but i must say without his encouragemnt5 and support i wouldnt be able to do the things i do........

Amanda

p.s I guess i am really really lucky

 

[Sassy Hassy]

Why do some men have to think they are still living in the dark ages. When I went to work my ex said, don't mind what you do as long as the house is clean and my meals are on the table. After 10 years, told him to stuff it, this is MY life and you only have one shot at it, if you don't like it then go elsewhere ... and he did! At the time it was devastating, but looking back it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Did you see the X Factor last week with that lovely lady who was about 56 and always wanted to be a singer but her husband held her back. Finally saw the light and got shot of him and decided to search for her dream. Good for her! (she was the one who Simon Cowell got all emotional about - he was actually in tears)

Don't let someone stand in your way of you dream,especially family who should love, respect and support you the most. Good luck and best wishes for the future.

 

[Teena_B]

I am one of those people who needs lots of support emotionally. I don't get it. When I told my hubby that I wanted to do the make-up artist course he said he thought I'd be good at that. I broke down in floods of tears 'cos I'd never got anything like that from him before - and never have since. He pays all the bills at the mo, but he makes sure I know it with remarks & sideways looks. He keeps on about me getting a job, he doesn't understand that if I work at Asda again (or wherever), I'll stay there, then at retirement I'll suddenly realise it's too late. If I could get a job doing nails or make-up even for minimum wage I'd drop the mobile to part-time for now, but he doesn't realise how difficult it is to get a job like that in this area. Even years ago when I was a full time mum he'd moan about me not wirking. so I foound a job that fitted around his hours, then he'd moan about me having to work, 'cos he had to stay at home with the kids when he'd earn much more than me if he did overtime!!! Any job I think about, he say's "I wouldn't get out of bed for that money" which makes me feel like the lowest of the low. We had our 16th anniversary last friday, I'm wondering if we'll have a 17th, as I'm at my limit.

Sorry to go on so long, but I'm feeling very low at the mo relationship wise, and confidence wise. Just had to share it. If I was brave I'd prob finish it with him, but he's always said he'd fight for the kids, & I don't earn much at the mo, so how could I get anywhere.

I WILL make a success of my nails business, I just have to be strong, and you guys help me to do that. Luv to you all !

 

[emmalouisa]

hi my other half tries and supports me in whatever i do. His been a bit moodie as i havent got many clients and ive spent alot of money on courses etc but ill prove it and show him my business will be blooming soon i hope anyway

At the moment its hard as i work 5 nights a week and his out allday plus we have a 3 year old daughter so i dont really see him plus im trying to do mobile beauty at weekends but im doing this as i dont want to be cleaning offices for the rest of my life and he understands that. But my office cleaning brings in quite alot of money so it will be hard to bring in enough money just doing mobile nails and beauty.

 

[Just Jo]

Hi Tina ...
Not gonna pass judgement ..... just wanted to say "been there done that" Its hard whatever you do ... We have one shot at this life and I intend to make the rest of mine my choice. If there are any then my mistakes (hopefully not lol) but my choice. I love my job (nails ) and want to be the best I can be ... it is so incredible and gratifying being totally independant for the first time ... my own bank account etc
I don't have all the answers but just wanted you to know I am rooting for you Don't let the ba*****s grind you down
Take care and {{{{{{}}}}}}
Jo xx

I hope this reads as it was intended

 

[geeg]

I have found this thread very insightful and many of you have shared really personal information which I think is amazing ... the trust and solidarity between Geeks.

I was telling my Simon about some of the husband's attitudes that you have mentioned and he said, "I bet they would offer more support if they new how much money their wives could be earning with some backing from them."

If you are excellent at the job of doing nails and excellent at customer service and have the nurturing attitude so necessary for your clients, you can make BIG money doing nails. Enough to suppport a family as a single parent easily. More than a qualified Nurse (which is sad but true).

Some of you know that I have helped a girl get on her feet out here in Spain after her divorce. By 'helped' I mean advice and contacts etc. She has now been here 2 years and in that time, has purchased a new car (Smart car fully loaded) and has just moved into her new 4 bedroom apartment that she has paid for with only a small mortgage. We are not talking HP. She owns these things. To her credit she is an excellent nail technician, a very hard grafter, I made her enter and coached her and she became the Spanish Nail Champion her first year 2003 (that helped PR wise) ... and she rents a small space in the best hairdressers in Moraira.

Just shows what can be done.

 

[Dawnie]

I have to say my partner is behind me 200% whatever I need to go forward comes first he knows I have a passion and he knows I will make a good living from it.............he stayed at home looking after my hearing dog so I could go to Spain with Geeg and fulfill my dream of becoming a CND master technitian just remembered I havnt thanked him properly for that one yet lol :o
I also met the girl in Spain that has worked so hard to get where she is today.............super girl and a great technitian I saw her work and it was fantastic she has proved it can be done I take my hat off to her

Dawnie xxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[mgloverfam]

If it wasn't for my husband, I wouldn't have gone to beauty school in the first place. My mom kicked me out of the house for dropping out of Business school, and my hubby just took me right down to the beauty school, and paid my whole tuition in full!! And at the time, we were only DATING!! He called it an "investment"...lol. To this day, he totally supports me, encourages me, and listens to all of my gripes and complaints when I've had a bad day. I love you Ken, thanks so much for everything!! For you gals experiencing some "resistance" from the other half, my advice would be to continue on, and do the best you can. Keep your goals in mind, and don't let anybody stop you.

 

[eroom]

I too have a very understanding husband, who after i had done my foundation course urged me to quit my job in admin and follow my dream.
He even asked me the other day if " as a birthday treat could he pay for my next course" . I have so much to thank him for.

 

[Soz]

Feel so much better...both in words of support from you guys and knowing that I'm not the only one.
Had a lovely msg from Sassy Hassy earlier and thought sod it...so tomorrow I'm going to print off my postcards and pricelist and and go and stick them in a few newsagents and noticeboards etc...nothing too adventurous but just make a start...as you say perhaps he'll change his mind when he sees some money roll in!!!

Think I've also learned that you have to take your support from where you can get it not necessarily from where you think you should get it...if that makes sense?!

thanks again guys and watch this space!!
xx

 

[Sassy Hassy]

GO GET 'EM GIRL - I'M ROOTING AND TOOTING FOR YOU! Really glad my pm was of help. Let me know how you get on, pm me if you need any more support.

 

[Teena_B]

Feel so much better...both in words of support from you guys and knowing that I'm not the only one.
Had a lovely msg from Sassy Hassy earlier and thought sod it...so tomorrow I'm going to print off my postcards and pricelist and and go and stick them in a few newsagents and noticeboards etc...nothing too adventurous but just make a start...as you say perhaps he'll change his mind when he sees some money roll in!!!

Think I've also learned that you have to take your support from where you can get it not necessarily from where you think you should get it...if that makes sense?!

thanks again guys and watch this space!!
xx

Ditto the above. I feel the warmth & support coming right through my screen! I'd also like to say thanks to those who PM'd me and who gave support here, I didn't reply 'cos I got all emotional! I feel much stronger thanks to you guys, it's amazing what a few words can do for your self esteem!

I'd say, Soz get them there postcards out, talk to people while you're doing it! I had my first nail art on last week, and people were approaching ME to ask about it!!! Being that I don't have much confidence at the mo, I had my cards on me but didn't hand them out! I WILL NEXT TIME! I also have a client through my sister who's my model. I do sis's nails for free, trying different ideas, she shows them off while she's doing her lollipop lady job (you wouldn't beleive how much advertising a lollipop lady can do!), she always carries my business cards!

We'll get there!

 

[gracy]

my wonderful hubby has been there everystep of the way, he is an angel in disguies that one lol
my daughter has now stepped on the ladder of learning nails now too, and i think she will be darn good, her first set put me to shame, anyway i think her boyfriend thinks its all a joke and " they are only nails" is his attitude, it is just an excuse cos he knows she will need someone to look after 3 little children while she learns and practises, so i wont let him win, I HAVE THE CHILDREN ! she has done her fdfc and has just started college, i am trying to get her to think into the future a little, the children will grow up quickly and by then she will hopefully have a career under her belt (and he has buggered orf) and she can crack on and enjoy it, do what learning and practising you can, think of a rosebud eventually you can open up into a beautiful full blown rose.

 

[Sara Satchell]

In my experience, alot of my family think my "nails thing" is a hobby - not many people actually take it seriously. My nan (she's 85) had a right go at me the other day when I told her I was packing in my weekend job to do more nails - she told me that getting your nails done was a only a trend, and would fizzle out - it was only seasonal for the summer!!! My husband was probably of the same mind when I first started, as was my Mum, etc etc. Now, my family are MUCH moer supportive - even my Nan!! Yesterday, my husband spent his whole lunch hour driving me over to NSI to get an urgent order!!

A complete turn around....Just prove 'em wrong!!