Heartbroken

[andrea27]

Dear Rhiannon,

firstly, you musn't blame yourself. You haven't done anything wrong.
Secondly, don't look at photos of you and him, that's torture. I know it hurts, I have been through 2 break-ups myself. (long relationships)
Your feelings are absolutely normal at the moment. You will feel down, but this will make you so much stronger.
I have been following your story, I know he broke up with you before so it's really important you are not in touch with him. Don't text him, don't answer his calls/messages, make yourself completely unavailable to him should he contact you.
He probably thinks he can play with you, breaking up with you whenever he feels like it. Well, this time don't let him. End it for good. Trust me, there are lots of nice men out there (even if you don't think that at the moment) and you will find someone nice one day.
Time will heal your pain. Keep busy, do things you enjoy and keep saying to yourself that you can go through this.
Good luck Rhiannon and stay strong. It's his loss at the end of the day.

 

[Rhiannon1408]

My whole life reminds me of him. I lay in bed and it reminds me of how he used to tell me I was beautiful in the mornings. I sit and do my hair in the mirror and it reminds me of him making me blow his manhood with my hair dryer. I look at my fake boobs and it reminds me of how amazing he was when he picked me up from the hospital and how he's the only man to have seen them. I sit on my sofa and it reminds me of all the times we cuddled up on it. I get underwear out my draws and it reminds me of how I bought every single set thinking of him. We had such a good time together and it's all I can think about.

I can't just not text/call him as he is giving me the £400 deposit I paid for our holiday back. And I couldn't bare to delete his number.

He told me on Friday that he had been feeling this since February but I've looked back at texts and there's no indication of anything changing, Ill attach some pics so you can see what I mean.

I'm just trying to get my head around why this has happened. I've been crying on and off all day x

 

[Rhiannon1408]

Texts from him throughout feb x

 

[fluffydreams]

Firstly, don't feel like you have done anything wrong!
The texts don't point to anything untoward so delete them. It will make things easier.

I know how you feel. My ex fiancee broke up with me but we had grown apart. However it still really hurt. i remember being in New Look not able to concentrate on any of the clothes or shoes because I was thinking about him and then bursting into tears and running home.

I spent a month drunk and in clubs flirting trying to get over him. It helped a bit but I spent hours crying and hurting and you need to allow yourself time to hurt and cry too.
Now, I know we weren't right and it was one of the best things to happen.
He calls me after 3 years begging for forgiveness.

At the time it is horrible but you will get through it babe. Get some chocolate, your friends and a good comedy xxx

 

[FlawlessBeauty]

I'm sorry you're hurting Rhiannon....xx
After reading this thread and remembering your previous relationship thread, i can't help but feel that he is stringing you along hun. I think he knows that you'll come running when he wants you and you have to know that it is not ok for him to treat you this way.

Stop torturing yourself over him. Don't text him, don't call him, put away his photos and mementos somewhere you can't easily get to. I know it's hard but i also know from experience you have to make a conscious effort to put him out of your mind right now and gradually it gets easier...i promise.

After breaking up with my ex, who i felt was the only man for me and the love of my life, i never thought i'd be with anyone else. A few months later i met my current bf and i was really happy i had my previous relationship to compare it to because actually he was nothing compared to this man. I never knew i could be this happy and this in love with someone.

In time, you will feel better and you will remember your relationship fondly for the good times...but you will meet someone new and fall head over heels for him and he will love you completely without reserve.

For now, do whatever makes you feel good. Have one slob day and then a hot bath, face mask, do your hair, make sure you do your make-up and nails and wear nice clothes, etc. Look good, feel good.

Love and hugs xx

 

[R D Beauty]

I had a problem of men saying one thing meaning another, I'm just not ready lone all the time. I bought rori raye google her I'm so much happier still single but know I will never be powerless again. She really makes a lot on sense. Explains how men's minds work and how to use feelings to communicate.

Ooh I'll google her! I would love to know how mens minds work! Rhiannon darling things will get better sweetie but it will take time big hugs xxxx

 

[SallyGirlJojo]

I broke up with my fiance about 4 weeks ago, as he did not want to come and move in with me. I find this book 'The Rules' really works for me. (The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, Dating Coaches. How to Tell if He's Just Not That Into You!) Can't say it works for everyone, but its a guide to dating and also building your self esteem for dating again. Probably not good for you right now, but maybe have a look when you feel up to it.

My favourite rule.. Rule #1, 'Be a creature unlike any other'

Hope you're ok x

 

[Rhiannon1408]

Arrrgh why am I doing this to myself?!

I'm over thinking everything and doubting everything he's ever said. He's told me he meant every word he text me and to stop trying to work it out and it's just how he feels x

 

[tonicj]

Hi,

Have just read the texts which SOUNDS like he really cared about you and couldn't help wondering is he already married or in a relationship with someone else all along???????????? Can't help thinking he is very confused about something!!!!:?:

 

[Rhiannon1408]

Hi,

Have just read the texts which SOUNDS like he really cared about you and couldn't help wondering is he already married or in a relationship with someone else all along???????????? Can't help thinking he is very confused about something!!!!:?:

No definitely not. I know all his family, he's only recently moved out of his parents, and his sister is my client.

He has been very stressed which is why I thought we had been going through a tough time recently as I thought he was confused x

 

[Steph86]

How u doing today? Xx

 

[Rhiannon1408]

How u doing today? Xx

Still not great, I had 3 hours sleep last night. Couldn't switch my thoughts off.

Went to Beauty UK with my friend and her boyfriend and I wasn't excited and didn't even want to look around. I just bought what I needed. She then dragged me round Birmingham town centre and I burst into tears in the middle of New Look.

He said he wishes he didn't feel the way he does x

 

[laurajd28]

Hi Rhiannon,

Just want to send you a big hug :hug:
I know exactly how your feeling, my boyfriend left me a week and a half ago, after 7yrs together He's blown the trust completely, so there's no way I can take him back. It wouldn't be the same and there would always be doubt in my mind.
It hurts like hell, and feels like the end of the world.
Like you, I'm not sleeping very well either, I've still been awake at 3am every night for the past few nights, can't eat properly, can't concentrate. I can relate to the boob job too, my ex came with me and is also the only person to have seen them! Can't imagine ever being with anyone else.
Definately hide your photos, as much as it hurt me to do so, I put all of mine in a box, and put them right at the bottom of my wardrobe where I can't easily get to them.
Keep busy too, I'm finding it's helping me by going to the gym a few times each week.

So glad I came across this thread, the advice from everyone is great, and makes so much sense!

Your not alone feeling like this and I really do believe everyone when they say that we'll get over it eventually! If it's meant to be, it will be xx

 

[marion]

Great advice here..
I can only add...

Please please please don't text or contact him... Be cool, he'll get curious and start to wonder if he made a mistake.. Please dont make contact with him..

Don't do it!! Just don't.. I've seen this mistake tons of times with friends and clients over the years.

 

[Ajay]

Bless you!

My OH of 5years came in from work one morning (he worked nights) and announced it wasn't working and I had to get out of his house! Out of the blue! Words cannot describe how I felt!!

But it gets better hun - Your friends will rally round, you'll find something to pour your energy into and one day you'll be chatting to some new guy (or comparing idiotic ex stories like I was!) and realise they're listening to you and really interested and actually kinda cute.... :wink2:

 

[Steph86]

Aww I wish I could wave a magic wand n show u a fast forward to 3 months time where u'll be ok.

I know its not everyones cup of tea, but I when it was over with my ex I went to see a pschic with my friends, gave me some much needed hope for the future.

As said above the gym can also be a good tiring distraction, either with friends or just ur ipod xx

 

[sarah_clancy]

Thinking of you!

We have all been there :-(

I echo what everyone says, things will get better.... Because you can't possibly feel any worse!

You think this man is the best thing ever, well look how he's just made you feel... BUT just imagine what else is out there for you to meet.

You deserve to be happy and to be treated like a princess.

I am a great believer in karma, and he will realise when it's too late!

x x x

 

[Rhiannon1408]

Aww I wish I could wave a magic wand n show u a fast forward to 3 months time where u'll be ok.

I know its not everyones cup of tea, but I when it was over with my ex I went to see a pschic with my friends, gave me some much needed hope for the future.

As said above the gym can also be a good tiring distraction, either with friends or just ur ipod xx

Funnily enough I had my palms and tarot cards read at Beauty uk yesterday. My card for love was strength, apparently I can be the rock of the relationship and I'm very easy to get on with. It also says that problems with my partner will be a thing of the past, and joint arrangements will go smoothly.

Everything it said about my past, present and my personality is spot on though. Freaky.

I know it sounds stupid and you're all going to disagree with me but I still think we can fix this relationship. I can only hope that something clicks and he realises what we have, and that it's worth fighting for x

 

[Nails<3]

Funnily enough I had my palms and tarot cards read at Beauty uk yesterday. My card for love was strength, apparently I can be the rock of the relationship and I'm very easy to get on with. It also says that problems with my partner will be a thing of the past, and joint arrangements will go smoothly.

Everything it said about my past, present and my personality is spot on though. Freaky.

I know it sounds stupid and you're all going to disagree with me but I still think we can fix this relationship. I can only hope that something clicks and he realises what we have, and that it's worth fighting for x

You don't sound stupid at all Hun, honestly when my ex split up with me it was the worst thing in my life at that time. I was so heartbroken and didn't know what to do with myself.

Me and my boyfriend are a match made in heaven and even though I hated him for the way he just left I knew we would be getting back together. We have such a strong relationship and at the time he was doing 16hour days, so I was nagging at him for not seeing him and the kids etc, I starting lagging on my business and he got annoyed with it,he had debt to worry about and loads of other Bits. Also he just thought the grass was greener on the other side which I told him it wasn't.

Men can't talk though and his only option was to just get up and leave Without discussing his feelings. Men let there problems get on top of them and don't know what to do. We sat down and talked all evening and worked it out and we are happier than ever. We always sit down and talk properly now,my business is busier than ever and most of all we are happier now. just give him time to work out in his head what he wants but don't wait around for him, I know it's easier said than done but just try and keep occupied. If its meant to be it will happen

I hope you can both work it out and I hope its just him being a man lol, if you give him a while to realise what he is missing out on he will come back but don't let him hurt you. You are a lovely sweet person and you only deserve the best. X x x x x

 

[Steph86]

Your not stupid, but if he takes too long (like most men) to realise, it will be his loss cz you will be over him.

Two of my friends in the last 2 months have been in the same position, upset wanting them back for weeks, then once they have done the hard part of moving forward, realising they are worth more, the guys want them back. And I am proud to say they have both told them to p off xx