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[Heather111]

My 20 month old daughter used to sleep brilliantly through the night until last week! She has now decided that she hates her cot and is absolutely petrified when I take her up to bed! She screams and screams until I give in and take her back downstairs. Then....5 minutes she's fast asleep on the sofa!!!! I've been leaving her about 10mins to get into a deep sleep and gently carrying her back upto her room and 'bang' as soon as I lay her down her eyes open she jumps up and starts screaming again!!!! Last night (or this morning) she woke at 1:30am....still downstairs at 4:30am! Tried 3 times during this period to put her in her cot but ended up back downstairs!

Please....has anybody been thru this? My husband said maybe it's time for a bed instead of the cot but she won't even get into our bed or the bed in the spare room......she's taken a liking to the leather sofa!!!!

Good job we don't have neighbours to keep awake!!

Anybody any ideas?????

 

[Pinkamanda]

Here are a few things I tried.

Make her cot a fun place to be. Does she have toys in it etc? We decorated our sons cot with different toys to play with.

We also chose a 'special bunny' who helped our son and would protect him at night. We kept repeating that fact.

We also tried laying with him soothing him as he fell asleep, moving gradually away from him as time went on

HTH, and Good Luck

 

[Pinkamanda]

Also, I know its hard, but maybe you should try putting her there and leaving her for a short while. If she doesnt seem to distressed and is using more of an attention cry then leave her. Half the problem could be that she knows that you will always take her out if she screams. I know its hard, i had to do it!

 

[Lellipop]

Hiya Heather,
I had awful trouble with my daughter (who is now 14). Just like your daughter she would scream as soon as you put her in her cot or bed. She had a bedtime routine bath, story etc but it continued. So at my wits end i decide to get tough. I would bath her, read a story, then tell her 5 minutes and i would be going down stairs and it was time for her to sleep. I would then go downstairs, as soon as the screaming started i would go up to her reassure her and leave the room again. I think the first week i must have gone upstairs 5-6 times a night, But perserved, she soon learn't that she wouldn't be leaving her room during the night and started to sleep straight through.
Hths

 

[Heather111]

Yes I've tried this. My friend said to leave her crying for as long as poss which we did but after about 10-15 mins she was crying so hard she was making herself sick!! Then when I took her out to comfort her I just felt cruel allowing her to cry for so long only to then pick her up. She has her favourite toys in the cot and she always goes with her pink favourite ted. I've tried staying in the room with her but she just shouts NO and points to the door.....almost like she is terrified of being in the room!

 

[Lellipop]

Yes I've tried this. My friend said to leave her crying for as long as poss which we did but after about 10-15 mins she was crying so hard she was making herself sick!! Then when I took her out to comfort her I just felt cruel allowing her to cry for so long only to then pick her up. She has her favourite toys in the cot and she always goes with her pink favourite ted. I've tried staying in the room with her but she just shouts NO and points to the door.....almost like she is terrified of being in the room!

I think you answered this yourself........ I just felt cruel allowing her to cry for so long only to then pick her up.

Never pick the baby up out of the cot, I know it sounds awful but they need to learn, Reassure by tucking her in and rubbing her back but don,t remove her from the cot.
Babies soon learn to cry for attention and this is what she is doing. I wouldn,t leave her for 10 to 15 minutes either, Go in after 5 mins settle her then leave it does work.

 

[Heather111]

Thanks Lesley I'll give it a go. There's no way she'll let me rub her back though. When I go in she is either stood or sat up with absolutely no sign of laying down! Does anyone thing a toddler bed might be the answer? That way I could always lay with her till she falls asleep.....

 

[luckybird21]

i no u prop think this sounds silly. my best m8 is a spiritualist, she sees dead people!!! my son wudn't sleep, she suggested moving his cot to a east direction,(thats head facing east) she also told me (and had never been in his room, it was when we first meet) to move the rocking chair out of the room, because 'they' are sitting there and frightening him. I moved the chair moved cot slightly and he slept perfectly! I kid u not she had never been in my house at that point! she does readings and stuff, she is totally brilliant, apparently it is a little girl called annie and coz he was so young she scared him, in fact once he started screamin, i thouht sum1 was tryin to kill him, he was huddled in the corner of the cot, pointing at the other end screaming mummy help. I was quite scared!!

Every thing is fine now, in fact i hear him talking to her! When i had a reading i found out that annie used to play with me, and she's about 4, I asked my mum all about it, and apparently i had a 'imaginary' friend called annie who i used to call hammy!

I no this all sounds crazy and ure ready to have me commited, but apparently children can see things we can't, and this cud be the case, spec if she sleeps ne where else but wakes when u put her in her room. i'd suggest good old feng shui, and if there are any chairs in the room then to move them.

also it couls be that she doesn't like to b alone, u can buy bears that snore, or make the noises of the womb, then if placed nearby she might think ure still there. also like others have said try the crying method, although it breaks ure heart! and toys in craddle to play with, also mybe a soft light and music.

Again i am not crazy (well not completly!)

 

[luckybird21]

oh and the toddler bed is a great idea, just buff up against the wall, and place cot mattress on the floor. sum times it is just coz they wanna be grown up, and not fell so caged in.

 

[Heather111]

Mmmm nice! Well it's probably me who isn't gonna sleep now!!!!!

 

[princessmowgli]

My youngest is 22 months & over the last 4 weeks or so has began to wake in the night crying really hard which is dead unusual as he goes down at 8, normally sleeps through & always has a lamp on. I have only got him out of his cot about half a dozen times over that period. What I have taken to doing is laying on the floor beside him, putting my hand through the bars so he knows I'm there. If I need to craddle him then I kneel up against the cot & hug him, whisper in his ear & give him kisses but I don't get him out. He's slept through for 3 nights now so back on track I hope!!!

What also works is to sit beside the cot but ignore him especially when I know he's attention crying. I know it sounds cruel but I've learnt by experience. When my eldest used to cry, I would just get her up & let her fall asleep on the sofa. It got so bad my friend ended up sitting round my place at her bedtime to stop me getting her up!!!!!!! Now she's almost 18 sleeps right through the night & half the day. Things somehow don't always get better.

Also I know the crying method works but you have to be disciplined. It's really hard to see your baby cry, holding their hands out to you, but simply go into the room to reasure them, tuck them in, offer a drink then leave. You may have to do it several times each night but eventually things will improve.

I do think it's a bit to soon for a toddler bed though. A mate of mine had the same problem only her baby did like their bed so they got rid of the cot & bought a toddler bed. She still doesn't sleep in it & every night ends up in their bed. They try different bedtime routines but are unable to commit to anything longer than 1 week so more fool them.

Hope this helps, let us know if things get any better or worse.

Sonia

 

[talented talons]

I agree with Sonia, i think it's too sooon for a bed. For one she will just get outof it and come down stairs or if you have a gate will then proceed to scream over the gate at you which will just distress you more.

i would do what some others have said. I had to do this wirth my little girl, as she became extremely manipulative, and believe me even at 6 months old this is very true.They learn quickly how to get what they want, and it sounds to me like she's got you where she wants you. I know at the time its the easier option to get her downstairs coz then you have peace, but do you really???

You then have the battle getting her back upstairs. I would personally get into the routine of putting her up after her bath or whatever, then leaving her screaming. Start at just 5 mins then go toher but dont pick her up, then gradually extend the time. it will be very difficult at first but you must persevere, other wise things will just get worse for you.

good luck, we are all routing for you. let us know how you get on.

 

[dee]

hi my son is 31/2 and we have only just managed to get him to fall asleep in his room, he was brilliant until he hit the 18 month mark and everything went capput, he used to be in bed at 7.30 everynight but then he started getting freaked out like he was having really bad nightmares, so we had to bring him down stairs, and it wasnt coz he didnt like his cot coz he has been in a bed since he was about 14 months old , so i put it down to him being frightened coz i know the difference when hes trying it on, i would try the staying in the room tactic, or go and buy her a really nice lamp,they do a nice dolphin one in argos where they swim round the lamp and it is all encased so she wont hurt herself if she touches it , oh and i took all the winnie stickers off the wall coz i am sure they didnt help either , hope this is of some use love dee