How do you keep your posts appropriate?

[mercedes69]

I am asking this question because I haven't posted on this site much and before I get myself into trouble...I was wondering how you all kept things friendly. I'll tell you why...

I had a PM last night from a fellow Geek who was unhappy and upset about a reply I had posted :cry:. I in return was a bit upset and astonished someone felt this way. In no way was anything I had written intended to cause offence.
Now when I write something...before I click submit...I always, always read it through a couple of times to make sure it's ok. But...this is probably where the problem lies...when I read it through it is with my voice in my head and with the knowledge of my intentions and my personality traits ( you following me so far??? ).
So obviously what I consider a perfectly innocent post may to another person be offensive in some way.
When it was stated in the PM the reason why my post had caused upset, I went back and re-read it knowing what the problem was and...yes...I could see her point. But I would never have thought this unless it had been pointed out to me because I hadn't meant to cause any upset in the first place!

So eventually I get to my question again.... due to different personality traits...and the fact that the written word can be interpreted in various different ways by different people...how do you post a reply without causing upset/offence? (without keeping your replies to 3 words or less!) Or do you just hope if you have in any way...that the person in question will let you know so you can hopefully put it right?

This has no bearing on the person who PM'ed me, I am just glad she did :hug:
I just thought I would ask as I have seen a few times things have got heated and a little out of hand on previous threads and I wanted your thoughts on this...mainly because I plan to be around for a while and I don't want to get a bad reputation :smack:

On a positive note...if it wasn't for this site I wouldn't be going down the route I am now..( regarding nail tech training ) I find all your advice invaluable and helpful and it has changed my attitude totally...I wasn't going to follow the right path so to speak but I most definately am now.

Now I am going to re-read this post and hope to God I have got it right...and if I haven't...SORRY...:cry::lol:

xxxx

 

[izzidoll]

Don't worry....I've been there, done that, and got the T-shirt!!! ...and I am a better geek for it!

How do we avoid these situations?.....well as you say re read everything and think before we post.
Also I have found, being here a lot, helps me to pick up on peoples personalities and know when they are being tongue in cheek...or downright cheeky.:lol:...(you know who you are!!)

Clashes of personalities happen, that's life...it is how we deal with it that is important. Also to learn from every experience.

I am sure we will soon get to know you better, and you us if you are going to hang around !!

This is another reason it is good to fill out your profiles when you are new....as it does help us to get to know you better, quicker!!

 

[Bagpuss]

using the smilies helps


using the smiles helps :irked:


see what i mean....:hug:


you ever been with a group of people and make a remark about something for 1 person in the group to take it the wrong way...?...then you find yourself saying "ohh no i didn't mean it like that"...its the same thing really. Some people hear/read things different to others.

I also find humour works well....you can make your point then add some sort of punch line ... (where appropriate of course)

Well done to you and the other geek for resolving this the right way...via PM's....

 

[Hope]

I have to say Honey having read back through your threads that I don't see anything offensive in any of them :hug: You seem to be doing the right things, we can after all only read back through what we have written and then hope for the best!!

So much of it depends on how people are feeling at the time they read something. A few weeks ago someones comment towards me, really hurt and I stayed away for a week or so, but actually it wouldn't normally have bothered me, but I was feeling low already IYKWIM.

Try not to get yourself in knots about what you are writing :hug: I always just try to think about how I would feel if the words I had written were directed at me, and like Bagpuss said use those smileys

 

[dobermum]

So eventually I get to my question again.... due to different personality traits...and the fact that the written word can be interpreted in various different ways by different people...how do you post a reply without causing upset/offence?

I think the answer is ...you can't. Due to differing personalities, life experiences and the printed word people will always see or hear something different from other people.

It's like witnesses to a crime...some say the criminal was 6ft with dark hair and someone else will say 5 and a half foot with light brown hair.

You can please some of the people some of the time but not all of the people all of the time...I think that's how it goes:lol:

Chin up...if your post was offensive I am sure you would have had more than 1 PM.

Jane x

 

[jax]

Some people will always take offence at what you write no matter how you meant it or how it reads to you. Some geeks are very sensitive creatures:cry:, others are always on the lookout for a barney from anything you write, others dont like to hear certain things you might want to say:irked:. It applies to all of us including me. Its the joy of a forum!!! LOL you'll get the swing of it. Just don't let it stop you posting.

 

[littlegrohl]

I think the answer is ...you can't. Due to differing personalities, life experiences and the printed word people will always see or hear something different from other people.

Jane x

agreed 100%.. be yourself.. The person did the right thing in raising her concerns privately rather turning a thread into a ****fest... and i spose thats all you can hope for! Im sure i offend people sometimes, i offend myself daily.. but at the end of the day if your hearts in the right place and you use a dash of humour then you can usually be happy with yourself! :green:

If i had a dollar for everytime i put my foot in my mouth.. well i'd be swanning on my own private island!!

 

[1999judy]

I post the same way as I act in life.
Well mannered and good humoured and I hope so far I've never offended anyone here.
We don't disagree about products, techniques etc. we are debating and learning, that's the way I see it.
We all have days when we may feel a little touchy due to the crap life throws at us and when I feel this way I try not to show it in my posts or I don't post at all.
Life can be hard at times but this is, after all, a forum where likeminded people come to pick each others brains and sometimes have a little fun.

Theres a great community spirit here so try not to worry too much that your post was misunderstood :hug:
You've sorted it out with the geek in question, problem solved!
Happy posting.

 

[Gelly]

I have to say Honey having read back through your threads that I don't see anything offensive in any of them :hug: You seem to be doing the right things, we can after all only read back through what we have written and then hope for the best!!

So much of it depends on how people are feeling at the time they read something. A few weeks ago someones comment towards me, really hurt and I stayed away for a week or so, but actually it wouldn't normally have bothered me, but I was feeling low already IYKWIM.

Try not to get yourself in knots about what you are writing :hug: I always just try to think about how I would feel if the words I had written were directed at me, and like Bagpuss said use those smileys

Firstly, I too looked over your previous posts and didn't find anything that seemed offensive!?

Sorry if I have offended anyone by not recognising the possibly offensive post! :hug:

I agree with everything that has been said so far.

We must all be able to have our own personal voices within this community, otherwise the whole thing would be boring and pointless. I am personally here to learn from the views, experiences and ideas of other geeks....... and to share of course!

But as in life, we must be remain aware that we are all different people, with different views and humours, who need time to learn each others personalities in order for us to fully understand each others motives.
Some people do have 'off' days, others worry that some 'could be' offended - but are not actually offended themselves...... there is loads to think about I guess!

Well done for sorting it out and double well done for starting this thread.......
Happy Geeking :hug:

 

[ValencianNails]

As has already been said... using the smilies to add meaning to replies helps immensely :wink2:
Sometimes you might see words stressed in bold font, just to make sure that a particular word or phrase stands out, no differently to how you stress words in a vocal conversation.

Some of us read things differently to others, sometimes we might be tired when reading a thread and reply likewise, sometimes we might feel a bit p'd off when replying and our attitude comes across in our reply... it really is no different to how we behave in person except we don't have our facial expressions or our tones of voice to help us out when it's done with the written word.

Keep on doing what your doing, reading replies before hitting the submit button and you won't go far wrong

 

[mercedes69]

Thank you peeps...as per usual you have replied with some terrific points to take note of...

I am really glad and I really appreciate the Geek who PM'ed me about this. And I also agree with the point she made about my post...when I looked at it from her perspective, which was how it got me thinking how to Post/Thread sensibly and productively. There are new Geeks joining on a daily basis and it is like someone said...until we get to know each others personality it can sometimes be a little difficult on occasions.

So...if for any reason my amazingly witty sense of humour should get on your nerves in the future...give me a short sharp prod with a cuticle pusher...and I in return will beat the living daylights out of you with a dusting brush...:lol:

:Love: much love to all xx

 

[ruthsy]

Excellent post.

I wonder if that's why people lurk? Better to say nothing than say the weong thing!

I know I have avioded replying to some posts because I just can't find the right context.

 

[adelekeegan1]

Thank you peeps...as per usual you have replied with some terrific points to take note of...

I am really glad and I really appreciate the Geek who PM'ed me about this. And I also agree with the point she made about my post...when I looked at it from her perspective, which was how it got me thinking how to Post/Thread sensibly and productively. There are new Geeks joining on a daily basis and it is like someone said...until we get to know each others personality it can sometimes be a little difficult on occasions.

So...if for any reason my amazingly witty sense of humour should get on your nerves in the future...give me a short sharp prod with a cuticle pusher...and I in return will beat the living daylights out of you with a dusting brush...:lol:

:Love: much love to all xx

Right off to sharpen up my pushie and strengthen my dusting brush - see you at dawn !!!:green:

 

[Sassy Hassy]

It depends:wink2:! If it's someone I know well on here I can let rip with my warped sense of humour :lol:. If it's a newbie I tend to be rather more gentle:hug:. A good old smilie or two helps as well :Grope:

 

[Lellipop]

Just be yourself If someone is not being nasty or offensive and someone doesnt like their point then that is not the person postings fault.

 

[keeleydee]

its a shame we have to worry about this, unfortunately i think as with texting and emailing you can never hear the TONE of someones voice or see the facial expressions as u would if you were chatting face to face, i wouldnt worry to much, we all have a right to our own opinions and expressions, and as long as no one is being abusive or detremental, we are all grown ups .....

 

[ValencianNails]

its a shame we have to worry about this

I don't think it's something we should have to worry about as such, more something we all should be AWARE of :green:

 

[mercedes69]

Right off to sharpen up my pushie and strengthen my dusting brush - see you at dawn !!!:green:

pssstttt.... can anyone lend me a dusting brush...I don't have one and don't gimme no plastic rubbish from the ££££ shop.... I want top quality, something from the manicure stand at the chemists will do :green:

xx

 

[ValencianNails]

I want top quality, something from the manicure stand at the chemists will do :green:

xx

slight contradiction there sweetie LMFAO......... :lol::lol::lol:

I'll lend you my CND Brisa (plush brush) dusting brush

 

[mercedes69]

Oh Sandi please send me that CND plush brush...please...please...please...I want something to play with...I will be getting very anxious until I can get my hands on some goodies...:lick:

I had to mention the chemist as I was in there tonight getting some antibiotics for my son when I saw a full stand of manicure products...nail files, brushes, clippers etc...

xxx