how do you say no!!

[emily22]

Hi,

As some of you probably know ive been studying nail extensions for a while now and am nearing the end of my course.

The thing is, my best mate has been my 'guinea pig' from the beginning and ive used her as a case study as well. She'd never had extensions before and is addicted now! The only prob is that she was paying me a small fee to go towards the cost of the products as it came to the point where she made the decision that she wanted acrylics on all the time etc.
It was good at one point as i knew she looking after the nails properly (after alot of lecturing from me!) and i could see how much id improved as the course went on by seeing that her nails actually stayed on to be infilled!!
I gave her some cuticle oil and all the homecare advice poss and once she finally took it all on board i could see the difference in the extensions when it came to infills.

Lately though i can tell she hasnt been bothering with the homecare routine; ive been round there many times and she's got her hands in the washing up bowl with no gloves! - She got a lecture from me everytime but when she was coming for infills i could see by the amount that needed doing that she wasnt following my advice. I know she has run out of cuticle oil - and she knows i have plenty to sell as i stock it for my manicures, but its like she expecting me to just give her some more. I cant do that as its money out of my business. I explained when i gave her some the first time that i had bought it for her as i wanted to see how well i was doing in the course by having a case study who i knew was following the home care. I told her that i normally sell it for x amount etc..

Also, there were a few times when she had broken a nail and i replaced / repaired it for her in between infill appointments. It seems now though that bcos i did it a few times for her that she expects it all the time now and doesnt pay anything towards it. By the time her infills are due she's pretty much had a full set before for free!
It got to the point where she was turning up every other day saying 'oh, i broke one doing this that and the other - could you do me a favour and sort it out for me'. I kept making excuses at one point saying i was too busy etc if she were due for infills at the end of the week, but by then she'd come for infills with two or three extensions left!! She also expects nail art everytime, and pays nothing for this, then, when you add up how many times ive had to replace a nail and then re-do the art its costing me a fortune.

I know she is not looking after them anymore as i never get probs with them coming off now apart from with the occasional case study who often admits to not having followed the home care or has done something extreme like caught one in a door etc!. I have learnt to see when probs are occuring because of me or more likely to be because of the client.

Im due to qualify in a few weeks and simply cant carry on doing my mates nails for pennies. I wouldnt mind but its like she's taking the mick now. I know she doesnt mean to and prob doesnt realise. But i dont know what to say without falling out with her.
Ive been avoiding her this last week and she came round the other day asking me to do her nails again! She currently doesnt have any on and i made a really crap excuse not to do them! I said i only have a little bit of powder, liquid etc left and need to use it on some other case studies that ive got infills to do on, and i need it for my final assessments (which ive already passed). She looked really peed off! She has started back at her cleaning job which she hasnt done since last summer so i know the extensions wont last her a week once she is putting them in all sorts with no gloves and banging them around on things (she is very heavy handed!)

When she asks me to do them i want to say to her is 'no, because it costs me a fortune to do them for you and you dont bother to look after them!!'

I know ive made a rod for my own back by letting her walk all over me but now im stuck!!
Im due to have a baby in 13 wks time as well so tbh, once ive finished college im looking forward to having a break from it all for a little while, its been a difficult pregnancy and im looking forward to putting my feet up - not to be replacing / repairing nails every other day for someone who cant be bothered to look after them!

 

[loubylou]

Its simple hun,
once you have qualified make up a price list and present this to your friend,
tell her that now you are qualified and running a business this is your price list as of now for everyone and would she like to book in for anything doing,
when she gives you the oh but I'm your mate you reply with,
good as a mate you will understand that this is a business that i am now running and no longer a practise session hth

 

[Mieke]

I would actually ask myself if she is indeed such a great friend if she doesn't even respect your work, your time and effort?
Keeping this in mind i can't imagin it to be that difficult to tell her what you think.
Telling this to her takes maybe 5 min. of courage but not doing it gives you days or even weeks of frustration.

 

[maguire]

You could also tell her in advance that once you are qualified you will no longer be able to do her nails at the reduced price but will have to pay the price you set out on your price list.

 

[sknight]

The above is great advice. I had this problem when I stupidly did a set for free for my sister in law and she was doing everything you said, expecting to have them re-balanced, replaced when broken and all sorts for free and on the spot. I decided to put a stop to it and toughen up on friends and family and designed a price list and the next time she asked I said with a smile "sure I will, I will just go get you a price list" and she didn't say anything. She may have been peeved but didn't have the cheek to say anything. Now I am very wary of people trying to play the family/friend card! Don't forget how much of your valuable time you are spending on your friend. You could try saying that you need to keep your appointments free for your paying clients lol

 

[emily22]

yeah, thanks u guys. You are all right - i know you are; ive just got to get the guts to say something! I dont want to lose her as a friends over this but that will happen if i dont say something. I tried telling her in a 'jokingly but serious' kind of way that she was a pain in the arse after she flicked another one off last time and she got quite snappy and said 'it shouldn't have come off!'. So i replied with 'they are not indestructable! If you bang them around then you will break them!'
She went very quiet and i made my excuses to go home before i got really annoyed! - not a good idea with how hormonal i am at the mo! lol!

 

[loubylou]

Just make up your price lists and hand her one all excited and say look i am a real business now,
hopefully she will take the hint, if not you will have to be firm hun,
you have to start as you mean to go on, you have a business and a child to think about hth

 

[redsadie]

Hun. I can sympathise because it's not easy when you have been doing things as practise and then you are qualified, but if she is really a good friend, you won't lose her, she should respect that you have worked hard for what you have achieved and accept it with good grace.

After all, you have introduced her to the wonders of beautiful nails and if she does have to pay proper prices (as she would have to in any nail salon) then she might think twice about how she treats them in the future.

Just my 2penneth

 

[fifitrix]

Just make up your price lists and hand her one all excited and say look i am a real business now,
hopefully she will take the hint, if not you will have to be firm hun,
you have to start as you mean to go on, you have a business and a child to think about hth

Louise is so right, I had this once with a client who started as a model for me, so I hear what you are saying. It got to the stage she was really annoying me because she just wasn't looking after her nails at all.

As my training continued(after I had qualified), I still found it hard to ask her for more money but after reading a thread on here along the same lines I thought right no more. The next time she came I handed her a pricelist and yet another aftercare leaflet!!!

Now, she is good as gold and looks after her nails while paying the full price, although I don't mind flinging a bit of nail art in now and again.

Stick to your guns hun, good luck xxx

 

[karenstars]

Hi, i understand your frustration because i'm sure nearly all of us went through this when we were learning. Personally i solved this problem by saying how much my products cost and that i can't keep doing freebies on people.....but because this person (my friend) was there for me as a model from the word go, and alot of other people didn't want a student (me) doing their nails i will always be grateful to her.....so now that i'm qualified i still do her nails and she pays me....but i do it at mates rates so i charge ten dollars less because in my heart i feel thats the right thing to do.

 

[geeg]

It is easy really and this question was asked and answered on the 'agony aunt' thread too. My answer then is the same as now.

FIRST, THANK her for helping you so much during your training. THEN Say, "I'm sure you will understand that I have worked hard to improve ... I am happy with my work and how it lasts for my clients ... and as from **** I will be charging full price and the same price to everyone who has their nails done by me. End of story. she can take it or leave it. Smile when you tell her the news.

Do not let things get ugly. Do not tick her off for abusing her nails and get in to all of that nonsense ... many clients do not look after your work ... get over it ... it is a fact of life. They just need to be told dispassionately that no home care = allot of money on repair work. How they look after their enhancements is up to them as long as they understand that they bear the cost of their neglect and take responsibility for it.

 

[donna'sdelights]

yeah, thanks u guys. You are all right - i know you are; ive just got to get the guts to say something! I dont want to lose her as a friends over this but that will happen if i dont say something. I tried telling her in a 'jokingly but serious' kind of way that she was a pain in the arse after she flicked another one off last time and she got quite snappy and said 'it shouldn't have come off!'. So i replied with 'they are not indestructable! If you bang them around then you will break them!'
She went very quiet and i made my excuses to go home before i got really annoyed! - not a good idea with how hormonal i am at the mo! lol!

I agree with all the above, I actually did a set for my mates sister the other day (terrible nail biter) and because I am still trainning I havent charged her in the past, but she said she'd give me some money this time I know she hasn't got much as she doesn't work and lives at home with her mum so when I finished she asked how much I said as much as you think they are worth, she said she would bring some cash round in a few days when her BF got paid.........

I havent seen her since.....(she obviously didn't think they were worth that much?!?!?!)
I wont be doing that again if she asks ( if she has the cheek ) i will tell her I will do them for £20 and when she has the cash she can come round.
My Nan on the other hand was going on hols and wanted them done before she went and I wasn't going to charge her (she's my nan) but she asked how much and i said £20 will be fine and she said are you sure?? as she has had them done in a salon be4 and knew they charge more.

Remember there is a difference between you asking for a model (your asking for their time and giving them a set of fab nails in return) and them asking you to do them (you spending your time doing them and getting (what in return) nothing a few pence?????) they are paying for your time and that is worth a proper payment fully qualified or not she is asking for your time. As has been said before if she doesn't understand this she isn't that good a friend

 

[sarahpoppy24]

Hiya you could say because of the legal side of things you have to put it through the books or your tax man, accountant etc will want to know where the hours are going and that stock is missing say the company realy checks up on thing like that and by not putting it through the books you will get in trouble all of the above is true anyway just exagerate it more :hug:

 

[number1kitty]

I had this with my own mum!

She came to my salon, had a manicure, pedicure and fake tan and in reception I told her what she owed me at 50% less than the usual cost! She turned around and said I will give you a fiver! I banned her from coming after that!

Dosnt matter who it is, friends or family I charge full wack! I do occasionaly when i have time do extra things or drag them in for product training etc, but you have to tell them your running a business and not a charity.

I tell them I have to charge X amounts when they ask for a treatment as I tell them I am using my time up that I could have a full paying client in anyway.

My mum now goes else where lol! Love to see her try the old fiver trick on a normal salon!

 

[emily22]

hiya,

thanks for all the advice; I am definately going to use the tax man excuse as technically its true anyway. If im claiming x amount as expenses but no income then it is going to raise questions! I might look at doing a special rate for my mate as she has been a great help from the start in the way that she has always come for my assessments and let me practice everything on her! I will always be grateful for that but i just feel that it is a bit cheeky for her to expect me to drop everything whenever she wants them doing or whenever she has broken one etc and it ends up costing me a fortune to do them for her.
I am going on maternity leave soon so wont be going straight out to do nail extensions once im qualified as ill be off work! However, i have enough product to get me started when i go back - may need to replace one or two bits but it shouldnt cost me a bomb! Id really like to save it for when i start doing them at full price as money is going to be tight for a little while. I havent even had a year in business yet and because ive been quite unwell since xmas i havent been earning much. I had to give up my part time job due to illness and my maternity allowance (if im entitled to it) wont be getting paid to me until at least a month after i start my leave if no longer than that as there is a backlog in all the claims! So, as you can imagine, im really having to watch the pennies at the mo, ive got my princes trust loan to pay back still each month and as well as that i need to keep some cash by for advertising etc when i do go back - all of that as well as living!!

 

[Top Tottie]

All more reason to start charging her!! You have got enough on your plate without worrying how your friend would take it!! You are in enough stress as it is, pregnancy etc... Perhaps she doesnt realise you would appreicate some contribution. You are not being mean you are being fair. Speak to her firm but fair!!! and if she starts moaning, just tell her to stop taking the P!!

Let us know how you get on!!!

take care hugs xxxx