How to give advice...and take it!

[nicole333]

Agreed.

Seconded. Or should that be thirded? :wink2:

I will say that at times I have seen some derogatory words used, aimed at posters, that I have not liked reading. I think for those with low self-esteem, it must hit below the belt.

But it's not an every day, or even a regular occurrence and certainly not worthy of the upset it seems to cause, unless of course that self-esteem rears it's ugly head.

I get on much better with straight talkers, I cannot bear alll that 'oh those nails are lovely hun xxxxxxx' when you really want someone to tell you how you can improve practically and point out where you may have gone wrong, blah blah blah. You wouldn't expect a college tutor to just continually stroke your ego, in fear of upsetting you with their constructive criticism.

 

[Astarstyle]

Weather's good again today hey?

 

[PixieBeauty]

Evening all!

I just want to reiterate, I wasn't originally talking about the tone people use in responses, but instead I was asking that people be mindful when giving advice to check if their post was constructive, or probing, rather than just judgemental. I think a lot of people have added many more valid points as well-my favourite being to just leave emotion out of it, good idea!

I don't personally want people to be on eggshells round each other, as I really am a tough old boot but it can be surprising how sensitive some people are (and telling someone to toughen up once they've already been upset is counterproductive!)

Equally it falls to the readers to take advice constructively and read answers with positive regard.

As I said if well-established geeks can still have time & patience I think the rest of us can xx

 

[sarahlou06]

Gr8 nailz.... Have you seen the film white Chics?!!

I love it

 

[sarahlou06]

Can I just say after reading this thread I'm mega confused!!

 

[gr8nailz]

Gr8 nailz.... Have you seen the film white Chics?!!

I love it

Oldie but Goodie. :wink2:

 

[gr8nailz]

Evening all!

I just want to reiterate, I wasn't originally talking about the tone people use in responses, but instead I was asking that people be mindful when giving advice to check if their post was constructive, or probing, rather than just judgemental. I think a lot of people have added many more valid points as well-my favourite being to just leave emotion out of it, good idea!

I don't personally want people to be on eggshells round each other, as I really am a tough old boot but it can be surprising how sensitive some people are (and telling someone to toughen up once they've already been upset is counterproductive!)

Equally it falls to the readers to take advice constructively and read answers with positive regard.

As I said if well-established geeks can still have time & patience I think the rest of us can xx

Well put, Pixie. Your thread began with the best of intentions and, unfortunately, got temporarily derailed. But I hope that you saw by following the subsequent posts that we are on the same page.

We are here to contribute as well as garner what knowledge we can. In the meantime, we hope and pray that our well-intended responses are not misconstrued as malintended, contrite or bitchy.

Some get the idea behind Salon Geek. Some don't.

I get it.

 

[LorraineE]

Are you becoming an internet troll Lorraine? LOL.
( Before you take offence check wikipedia)
You are certainly whipping things up. I am with Chickafish on this one though, but thanks for posting such provocative messages it "gets the juices flowing" just a shame it hasn't become a lively debate rather than someone just trying to throw the spanner in the works.
Initially you seemed so enlightened so peace and light to you:hug:

Hope I dont get sent to the naughty step for this one it certainly isn't meant as a direct attack, more of a tongue in cheek remark

I know what troll means, don't under estimate my intelligence!

Please can I refer you to YOUR post "Threads just die once I have visited".

What a belly laugh. I got through a box of Kleenex rofl

 

[LorraineE]

Baggy, there was absolutely nothing in your post to warrant the response received.

This is a prime example of why so many SG members are becoming ghosts. I'm on here less and less because of bullsh*t like this. There is too much hyper-sensitivity.

If the OP had taken your advice, Baggy, and read your post with a smile on her face, nothing negative would have been inferred. However, it appears she read into it something completely different that what was actually there.

Sad. She's going to miss out on so much.

On here less and less, you're always on here. Cause you and some members are senior members, give advice and have a lot of experience and knowledge don't mean you have MORE rights!!!!

I ain't down with the bullying

I have my girl on here, home girl can ask mah questions for me, yah get me!

Later

 

[tanfastic]

I wonder if it might be time for someone to close this thread as it seems to be descending into playground mentality

 

[Baggybear]

It is a shame that a good thread with a subject that could lead to an interesting debate has been blighted by a troll.

Hopefully the thread can get back on track - if not it will end up closed.

 

[nicole333]

Before it does, I would like to apologise if my post at the top of the page came across in a negative way. I really shouldn't post when tired, as it never sounds right!

I should have just said, I can see both sides. Simples!

 

[pure]

I agree that we need a mod to close this thread now as there's some playground behaviour going on which really isn't worth wasting time on!!!

 

[Planky1]

I know what troll means, don't under estimate my intelligence!

Please can I refer you to YOUR post "Threads just die once I have visited".

What a belly laugh. I got through a box of Kleenex rofl

Sorry but how old are you? This is a response I would expect from my 10 year old niece. Seriously....
This is a forum for professionals, this type of response is nothing more than childish. You stated a few posts back that you were "going" but yet you are back just to respond in this manner. Read the thread back in it's entirety and have the decency to respond to Baggybear when she has asked you a genuine question, as you are the one who has turned this thread into a negative one with your childish responses, apparently caused by Baggybears post, yet 3 times now you have been back on here and have refused to acknowledge how her post upset you. You are only interested in stirring up trouble. That is trolling.

I'd personally be embarrassed to keep contributing in this manner, I think you seriously need to step back and re-read your responses before you say any more.

Why are you on this site in the first place? Do you want help and to learn from experienced and like minded people in the same industry as you, or are you here to just cause trouble? If the latter, then I think it would be wise to just leave the site before you are issued a warning or banned. If the first, then I suggest you do as I have said above and read back before you alienate yourself and no one wishes to help you in the future.

 

[Calminginfluenc]

I know what troll means, don't under estimate my intelligence!

Please can I refer you to YOUR post "Threads just die once I have visited".

What a belly laugh. I got through a box of Kleenex rofl

Can we just remember that members of the public have access to this and your comments let the industry down!!

Trolling is ruining the Internet!! I thought that because we are all professionals or aspire to be on here that we would be exempt from such childish behaviour!! Some people obviously have to much time on their hands!!

 

[tanfastic]

Can we use the red button please? I feel this needs to stop as Calminginfluence has stated, this is an open Forum and I would be mortified if my clients saw this or even worse, my mom :Scared:
Maybe my fantastic "Thread Kiling Skills" will cut in as I am the last one to post presently

 

[LorraineE]

Sorry but how old are you? This is a response I would expect from my 10 year old niece. Seriously....
This is a forum for professionals, this type of response is nothing more than childish. You stated a few posts back that you were "going" but yet you are back just to respond in this manner. Read the thread back in it's entirety and have the decency to respond to Baggybear when she has asked you a genuine question, as you are the one who has turned this thread into a negative one with your childish responses, apparently caused by Baggybears post, yet 3 times now you have been back on here and have refused to acknowledge how her post upset you. You are only interested in stirring up trouble. That is trolling.

I'd personally be embarrassed to keep contributing in this manner, I think you seriously need to step back and re-read your responses before you say any more.

Why are you on this site in the first place? Do you want help and to learn from experienced and like minded people in the same industry as you, or are you here to just cause trouble? If the latter, then I think it would be wise to just leave the site before you are issued a warning or banned. If the first, then I suggest you do as I have said above and read back before you alienate yourself and no one wishes to help you in the future.

If u or anyone wants a ban enforced that the decision is not in my hands

 

[tanfastic]

Before it does, I would like to apologise if my post at the top of the page came across in a negative way. I really shouldn't post when tired, as it never sounds right!

I should have just said, I can see both sides. Simples!

Oh no Nicole, you sounded fine, honest and straight talking. I seriously doubt that you have offended anyone.:Love:

 

[Calminginfluenc]

Maybe my fantastic "Thread Kiling Skills" will cut in as I am the last one to post presently

Almost! :wink2:

 

[tanfastic]

Almost! :wink2:

:smack: Take that for usurping me !!!!!

Only joking

Good to see we can still have a giggle, OMG I have to get going, Spray tans await