Husband's 40th and I'm stressing!

[redsadie]

I just don't know what to get him!

He's not a party person, has a few select friends, absolutely hates get togethers, dinners etc (unless it's just me and him and the kids (maybe )) We are lucky enough to buy pretty much what we want so he doesn't need anything. It's not like when I was a kid and only ever got stuff for Christmas and birthdays.

He was brought up to have what he wanted when he wanted as his family didn't (and still don't ) celebrate Christmas or birthdays (he got out when he was 16), so he doesn't set much store by the fact it's his birthday and still after 10 years of being together he says he's not bothered. I have bought him a subscription to a magazine for a hobby he's just taken up, but the equipment he needs for his hobby goes *woosh!* over my head and I couldn't (wouldn't) chose anything for it without him being there anyway.

Any clothes I like and buy for him always go back to the shop because 'they're not him' I think if he gave it a go he's look even sexier than he does (to me anyway) already

I guess I'm just asking for ideas for a very difficult to buy for almost 40 something husband. Is it just me feeling that I have to buy him something special because it's a milestone, am I worrying too much about what others may think when they ask me what I bought him for his birthday?

OMG I just read this back and it sounds really bad, he's a great, loving and sexy man, just not 'out there' or outgoing (totally opposite to me :green

Any ideas/suggestions very welcome. :hug:

Thanks guys. xx

 

[pips]

OMG my hubby and yours could be related!

We went out for a meal with his dad & step mum last week and all through the meal it was "dont like eating out, not the same as home cooked, could have had this at home, how much?"

I buy him trendy clothes and he slings them in the bottom of the wardrobe, says why does he need them when he can wear his trackys and t-shirt

When he hit 40 we got him a limo, just him, me, the kids and his dad & stepmum, we had a ride around then got dropped off at the bowling where we spent 4 hours then got picked back up again and had another 30 mins ride.

Its so stressfull when you pull out all the stops and they dont appreciate it.

Wish i could give you some pointers chick but he sounds as bad as my OH :lol: I do feel for you :hug:

 

[redsadie]

OMG my hubby and yours could be related!

We went out for a meal with his dad & step mum last week and all through the meal it was "dont like eating out, not the same as home cooked, could have had this at home, how much?"

I buy him trendy clothes and he slings them in the bottom of the wardrobe, says why does he need them when he can wear his trackys and t-shirt

When he hit 40 we got him a limo, just him, me, the kids and his dad & stepmum, we had a ride around then got dropped off at the bowling where we spent 4 hours then got picked back up again and had another 30 mins ride.

Its so stressfull when you pull out all the stops and they dont appreciate it.

Wish i could give you some pointers chick but he sounds as bad as my OH :lol: I do feel for you :hug:

Thanks chick :hug:

Sounds like they were seperated at birth! The limo sounds like a great idea and the kids would love that too! Only thing is I have left it rather late. His birthday is on Saturday

I'm going into town after work tomorrow, so I'll have a last look round. He might just end up with a fish supper on the seafront, lol!

xx

 

[pips]

You never know chick, get the book out tomorrow and ring round a few places, we only booked ours 3 days before as we was in the same boat and didnt know what to do.

Good luck :hug:

 

[hippy-chick]

speaking as some one who has turned 40 today, I think a bottle of champers and a nice tea out with the kids would do it, go out early then drink the champers when you get home and the kids are in bed.

A night away in a hotel is good too, but it means organising childcare, which has been a nightmare for us. Mr chick was supposed to arrange a romantic night's break, but his parents (our only babysitters) went and booked a holiday from Saturday to Saturday, so means we can't get away last weekend or this weekend, and they are busy next weekend.
My FIL asked why we couldn't go away midweek!!!!! I asked him had retirement fuddled his brain THAT MUCH! DOH!

So, I've taken the bull by the horns and booked a long weekend in Bath with my sisters and friends from Wales, so Mr chick doesn't get to go away, but gets to pay for my jaunt instead! LOL.

Sorry if I hijacked your thread, but thought it would be good to share from a 40 year old's perspective.

 

[redsadie]

Thanks Hippy-Chick :hug:

I've got 5 years before I hit 40 so plenty of time to think about what I'd like to do, lol!

I think I will take him and the kids out to dinner (not McDonald's as my 7 year old suggested!) and the champagne is a nice idea.

Oh, and I just found out upon getting to work this morning that due to a 'technical hitch' I won't be getting paid today but on Monday instead

Here's to a happy Friday :lol:

Sarah. xx

 

[busybee32]

Does he support a football team?
You could see about getting a signed shirt for the team he supports, if you contact that club direct they should be able to help you. My husbands fourtieth was last boxing day and I threw him a huge suprise party with his friends from back home. I gave him a pair of slippers in the morning as he had quite an expensive crimbo pressie, then at the party presented him with his signed shirt which he had no clue about.
That is maybe an idea hun. Not the party bit obviously
HTH:hug:
Jen

 

[pips]

Ive done a few 40th birthdays and spent a few days abroad. Barcelona been one of them.
Next year when its my 40th im hoping to do prague or amsterdam.

It may only be 2 nights away but you seem to pack alot in...sightseeing and drinking been the main 2 :lol:

 

[beautyseeker]

Now I am going to sound like a right old saddo, but I did'nt celebrate my 40th in any big way whatsoever, and neither did my hubs. We just treated it as a normal birthday, out for a nice lunch with our daughter and champers later on. :hug:

 

[xAnnaBannAx]

what about them vouchers you could buy? if you think he would be interested in doing some off roading...driving a ferrari...or something similar...theres loads of things like that you can get!

 

[Jaffacake]

how about a trip in a hot air balloon or something? can make it really romantic with champagne, you could book it and give him the voucher to use whenever it suits you both. I'd love to do this :green: dont suppose its cheap though!

 

[mikem]

He seems to have completely different beliefs and values to you around birthdays so my suggestion is to do what he wants.

So if he's not bothered about a present, it won't matter to him if he doesn't get one. If he doesn't want a party don't throw him one because he wouldn't enjoy it and if he doesn't like surprises (like me), don't even think of surprising him because he'll hate it.

From what you've said I would say there are a few things you can do that may work:

1. Whatever you do, plan it with him - maybe suggest that you do something not too get togethery with his close friends and if he agrees organise it.

2. he needs stuff for his hobby, so go with him and let him choose the stuff and get it for him. that way he gets exactly what he wants and you get him a present.

If you do the things he would like given the way he is about birthdays, he'll have a fab 40th to thank you for - it will just be different to what you would like for yours.

Hope that helps. It could be worse you know, we men have to buy for you women......nightmare

Mike

 

[mikem]

how about a trip in a hot air balloon or something? can make it really romantic with champagne, you could book it and give him the voucher to use whenever it suits you both. I'd love to do this :green: dont suppose its cheap though!

A group of ladies who shall remain nameless went on a balloon ride a couple of years back. One of them had a very bad panic attack and got the runs so the rest of them crowded around her and she 'went' in a plastic champagne flute

When we heard the story it was extremely amusing, but not as amusing as when we saw the photos - it was a very big balloon and there was a party of OAPs sharing the basket with them :lol::lol::lol:

Mike

 

[redsadie]

Thank you so much to everyone who has replied to my plea!

I decided to get him a few bits and pieces, silly things and a mini cake with 40 on it, I don't want to really play up the fact he's 40 (he had a crisi at 30 so don't wanna tip him over the edge, lol!) but I needed to put something in there!

Mike, thank you, you really hit the nail on the head.

He seems to have completely different beliefs and values to you around birthdays so my suggestion is to do what he wants.

So if he's not bothered about a present, it won't matter to him if he doesn't get one. If he doesn't want a party don't throw him one because he wouldn't enjoy it and if he doesn't like surprises (like me), don't even think of surprising him because he'll hate it.

From what you've said I would say there are a few things you can do that may work:

1. Whatever you do, plan it with him - maybe suggest that you do something not too get togethery with his close friends and if he agrees organise it.

2. he needs stuff for his hobby, so go with him and let him choose the stuff and get it for him. that way he gets exactly what he wants and you get him a present.

If you do the things he would like given the way he is about birthdays, he'll have a fab 40th to thank you for - it will just be different to what you would like for yours.

Hope that helps. It could be worse you know, we men have to buy for you women......nightmare

Mike

I have asked him if he would like us to go to our local carvery for a meal tomorrow lunchtime and he kind of said yes, I'll wait until tomorrow to see if we do actually go

My children are at a birthday party for 2 hours tomorrow afternoon, so maybe we'll get snuggly :Grope: while they're not here :green:

With regards to his hobby, he had a day off work today and went and bought a whole load of stuff for it, so I said I'd pay for it for him as a pressie from me to him.

Women a nightmare?!!!!

Buy us some nice (expensive) shoes - make sure you know our size, just check inside shoes we already have (you know there will be many pairs :green, then a nice Italian leather handbag, big enough to put a small dog in:green: and take us clothes shopping without moaning (or just give us your credit card ) and then for a nice meal (children optional).

Not much to keep us happy :lol:

Again, thankyou so much

xx

 

[mikem]

Buy us some nice (expensive) shoes - make sure you know our size, just check inside shoes we already have (you know there will be many pairs :green, then a nice Italian leather handbag, big enough to put a small dog in:green: and take us clothes shopping without moaning (or just give us your credit card ) and then for a nice meal (children optional).

Not much to keep us happy :lol:

I rest my case - nightmare We lunched in Flannels in Cardiff yesterday and the bag in the sale she liked was a snip at £400 :cry:

Glad it was of help and hope you have a fab birhday together.

Mike