I feel like I am being used

[jurate]

Hey geeks,

I just want to get something off my chest and please feel free to tell me if you think that i am being stupid

Basically, me and this girl have both done eyelash extension course around the same time at the different venues and my things really went forward - i have since secured to salons, one of which is high end and have also been offered a position to assist my tutor back in college.

Well, things werent going well for this girl - she had actually glued my lashes to the point where my eyelid bruised and swell up. Twice. In two different sets. I was always trying to point her in the right direction, sharing my application techniques, tricks i have learned over here - in fact i have spent hours & hours & hours over heredoing my research & learning. I kept telling her about this place & all.

I have been doing her lashes, her sister's & her best friend lashes who were advertising them to other people as her work - which i dont mind. I have spent hours doing her friend's lashes while she watched to get her technique right. I have sent her many txt messages with advise. And now i am starting to feel used.

The thing is i dont mind sharing my knowledge about something i am passionate about. But it got to the point that she only ever texts/calls me when she needs info. Her latest text:
Hiya lady my glue is not good my lashes falling out what glue and remover on the web and price is the best? (Name) x

Theres no "how are you?" or "are you even alive?" there, nothing. Further more, i had actually given her all this info only on monday for her to forget! I gave her the brand names, the prices, all... i know that info from investing quite a bit to try things out and find what i believe in. I handed it to her and she didnt take it first time around.

The otherthing that bugs me is that she actually had stopped doinglashes but saw how my things are picking up and is advertising again. I am not worried about her competition, but its just the way she deals with things.

As a person she is lovely, i do like her (although some of the comments she made suggesting ME to poach MY clients from both salons and move to work with HER somewhere renting a place have actually made me think twice)

How do i politely say to her that from now on she has to look for info herself? Ihave suggested sg to her already,but she is not interested.

I am not being mean or greedy. Or am i?

Jurate xx

 

[Pinkbunny28]

Oh this is not nice. She clearly just isn't very good at doing lashes. She probably just doesn't have a natural flair for them and is struggling. Yes it is a little mean to ignore her but I think that really is your only option if you have tried everything else, and it seems you have! x

 

[lila22]

No your not but I think as you have helped her so much she now just expects it, maybe back off a little,don't text straight back and tell her your busy when she wants your time, she will keep asking if you keep helping x x

 

[dolled up]

Id of told her to jog on & find her own info ages ago! How can you let her pass your lashes of as hers? Thats false advertisement and if she has brusied you twice, whats she going to be like on the public? You are deffo being used & if it was me id cut all ties with her but thats just me. Hth xx

 

[jurate]

Thank you, pinkbunny i am ignoring her this last text. I did feel sorry for her in the beginning as she is a single mom of two. She is out of work atm as well and i do wish her the very best. But at the same time i cant stop that niggling (sp?) feeling that she is using me!

Jurate xx

 

[jurate]

Id of told her to jog on & find her own info ages ago! How can you let her pass your lashes of as hers? Thats false advertisement and if she has brusied you twice, whats she going to be like on the public? You are deffo being used & if it was me id cut all ties with her but thats just me. Hth xx

I wish i wasnt a softie that i am i did try before and i thought i succeeded, but she popped back into my life.

Jurate xx

 

[jacquelineanna]

Hey Juate, you have acquitted yourself by helping her over and above that which many others would have done.

Time to stop and I am glad you know that.

Every time she texts you in future you need to say something like this:

Hi xxxx

Lovely to hear from you and hope you are well.

Thanks for your text, I'm really busy right now so check out this site xxxxx and do a search for the answer.

Take care xx

Always send exactly the same text and just change the website that she needs to look at for the prices/products/or instead of the website put in the name and number of the lady who trained you.

She will eventually stop asking you but you need to do it every time.

Good luck lovely

xx

 

[jurate]

Hey Juate, you have acquitted yourself by helping her over and above that which many others would have done.

Time to stop and I am glad you know that.

Every time she texts you in future you need to say something like this:

Hi xxxx

Lovely to hear from you and hope you are well.

Thanks for your text, I'm really busy right now so check out this site xxxxx and do a search for the answer.

Take care xx

Always send exactly the same text and just change the website that she needs to look at for the prices/products/or instead of the website put in the name and number of the lady who trained you.

She will eventually stop asking you but you need to do it every time.

Good luck lovely

xx

Thank you Jacquelineanna i will hold off till tomorrow before i text her.
Strangest part is that the site address is going to be the one that she already gets her stuff from. She knows it. She has used it. I told her about it. I told her to contact our college as well. She didnt hear it before.
Maybe this time?

Jurate xx

 

[jacquelineanna]

Thank you Jacquelineanna i will hold off till tomorrow before i text her.
Strangest part is that the site address is going to be the one that she already gets her stuff from. She knows it. She has used it. I told her about it. I told her to contact our college as well. She didnt hear it before.
Maybe this time?

Jurate xx

Maybe this time or maybe not, but her time of picking your brains has come to an end.

There is a very good reason you were selected by two salons!

You have to work hard and research everything in this industry, if you want to sit down and ask someone else to give you all the answers you will be sitting down for a long time to come.

:hug:

 

[lila22]

Hope you get it sorted x x

 

[jurate]

Hope you get it sorted x x

Hopefully, lila i just need to grow some balls! :o

Jurate xx

 

[lila22]

Hopefully, lila i just need to grow some balls! :o

Jurate xx

Ahh you sound like your a nice person just sometimes people can take advantage not meaning too, Sure she will get fed up asking and getting no where, just be strong you will be fine x x

 

[marion]

Im afraid your nice nature has been taken advantage of. But you can't blame her. You allowed it to happen.
You have to learn from it and move on. I guess it happens to everyone in life, especially when we are young.
Just start ignoring a few texts, then when you do answer, say hi how are you? And talk about other stuff. Or start saying.. 'I'm not sure' or I dont really know'
Ps.. please don't even consider going into business with this friend

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek

 

[jurate]

Ahh you sound like your a nice person just sometimes people can take advantage not meaning too, Sure she will get fed up asking and getting no where, just be strong you will be fine x x

Im afraid your nice nature has been taken advantage of. But you can't blame her. You allowed it to happen.
You have to learn from it and move on. I guess it happens to everyone in life, especially when we are young.
Just start ignoring a few texts, then when you do answer, say hi how are you? And talk about other stuff. Or start saying.. 'I'm not sure' or I dont really know'
Ps.. please don't even consider going into business with this friend

Sent from my GT-I9300 using SalonGeek

Oooh i absolutely know what you mean :/ as i said, i dont mind helping, but i see that i have gotten myself into situation here.

And about going into business - god no, i would never do that! First of all, she doesnt have funds to open any venues, secondly, she wants my clients there for us both to do them and most importantly - i do not poach clients. I believe in karma

I know i am at fault here and there is this saying that we use back at home - give a man a finger & and it will bite your arm off. I wanted to help and as always got myself into sticky situation!

Lesson learned

I really appreciate everyone's replies and input.
Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk 2

 

[lila22]

Happy to help x x