Impartial advice please, was I wrong?

[tanfastic]

Hi there Geeks, this seems to be turning into a relationship therapy page and I need some advice here.. Longish thread but here goes

We moved in here 5 years ago , huge bit of land behind the bungalow with a private lane running around the back of the property to other bungalows. The front of our property is on to a busy road. Fields behind us and a woodland too. directly behind us a bit of land belongs to an old boy who uses it for amenity land no one is allowed to live on it permanently. We had a lot of trouble with him when we first came as he was like "Lane Police" everything we did was scrutinized and complained about. Every inch of our land was catalogued and if we put a new fence up a cm more than where it was before he would kick up and make us move it. We tried to keep him happy but I eventually blew up and had a huge row with him. Over the last few years his health has been failing and he doesn't come to his plot much but he has two grown up sons, one is in a rock band and god knows what the other does but every summer they have these 3 day marathon party events. Tents, vans, motorbikes loud music etc. Not every weekend but at least once a month sometimes more.

I have gone there before and seen one of the guys a few times to ask how late or how long etc. Explaining that my animals get spooked by loud noises at night especially when they are used to it sounding like quiet country side ( it is far enough from the road for hardly any sound to travel up to the hen houses) The one son has always been polite and tried to not P*ss me off.

Friday night was hot so I had the back door open and I could hear constant cheers ( like when someone scores a goal at football) shouting, loud music, screaming etc etc. My bigger dog has very strong guarding instincts and he was a pest barking and racing up the garden every 5 minutes. I had to shut the doors to keep him in and swelter. By midnight I had enough and stormed up there, asked for who is in charge, they were all so drunk I did shout at them and told him I was going to talk to his dad in the morning and that enough is enough. It isn't rural country side, there are neighbors to think of. He told me to get off the property so I did.(All weekend my dog has been limping as he twisted his leg racing about like guard dog from hell. I have had to keep him on painkillers.Silly boy)

I got home and the hubby had a go at me for upsetting them !!!! It really upset me.

Anyway the dad came to my front door today, told me I was trespassing on his property and why was I complaining, I told him that I had the decency to speak to them instead of calling the police ( I am sure there were drugs on the premises but don't want to tell the old boy as it would break his heart and he wouldn't believe me anyway.)He told me to call the police then so I said I would and that he was to get off my property as I had nothing I wanted to say to him and didn't want to hear another word from him. Upon leaving he says that there is just one thing he wants to say, apparently we are using an access to our property ( talking a load of rubbish trying to scare me?)without the proper permissions so he will have to do something about it. Threatening me on my property!!! I told him to leave immediately or I would call the police NOW as I will not be threatened on my own land.

Hubby was with the tree surgeons when this happened so I went to find him to tell him and again he has go at me for stirring things up. He says I should have left it and none of this would have happened.

Should I just have ignored the noise and aggravation on Friday?Am I just a grumpy old cow?

I think I was right but then I can be stubborn and can be a bit aggressive when pushed but shouldn't he have stuck up for me?

 

[Trinity]

I would be wearing certain parts of my Husbands anatomy as ear-rings if he had not backed me up in that situation :lol:

You are perfectly within your rights to complain about anti-social noise, in your position I would have called the police after going round and getting no joy from the drunks, so you were more patient than I would have been.

Yes I suspect the old boy is trying to scare you with access threats, if you bought the place your solicitor would have advised you of any access issues when doing your searches prior to purchase. And even if he's right and your solicitor has missed something, you can challenge the issue as you've been using the access for many years, and obviously the people before you did too. I believe after a certain length of time it becomes your right to do so.

Things like this can escalate into large scale, costly, lengthly fueds which you would like to avoid I'm sure. Maybe arrange to me the old boy somewhere neutral like the local pub garden one day and try to talk through you concerns, and his in fairness.

It may well be the sons are actually causing the problems, but you can't fight that battle, the Father needs to do that.

As for your Husband, maybe offer him a cold beer and gently remind him that you could do with his support rather than resistance :hug:

 

[tanfastic]

Thanks for replying I really appreciate it as all advice at the moment will be very welcome, I will certainly not be spending any money on his petty mindedness. I know that we have the rights to all of our entrances to the property. There are three gates to the back garden and they have all been in use for decades. Only one was moved further away from a blind corner and has been there for 4 years now. The only one I can think he might be talking about is the one directly opposite his gate which we only ever use when we have bark and wood chips delivered. I told him that I was not trying to be obstructive, I realise that we all like to have fun and we were all young once but it would be good manners to let your neighbors know when you are going to have a 36hr party. I tried to be polite at first untill he told me that I had been trespassing on his land then I saw red! His property is classified as Agricultural land as are all the others along that stretch, we have half and half. I am sure most farmers would complain if you had a party next to the Chicken Runs or the Milking Sheds.LOL. My poor little hens go off lay when they have a lot of loud noise at night. Fireworks always upset them terribly and these guys often have displays up there at the end of their events.

Because our village has very strong Gypsy Roots and a lot of settled traveller families, all the properties along here ( Big lumps of land) have clauses in the deeds that no caravans, tents or campsites are allowed. The only way I can stop it though is by taking him to civil court and then of course it is the expense and years of feuding especially since he can argue that it is only his own kids camping there. His boys will be inheriting the land so it will be a whole new kettle of fish then. If I was a bloke I'd have punched him. Sorry

Hubby hates confrontation but has quite a temper on him so if someone rubs him up the wrong way he will certainly stick up for himself. If this guy p**s him off he is ready to have a go, he knows what he is like and has told him in the past to F*ck off and mind his own business but this weekend and today he takes the other guys side and doesn't back me up. So frustrating. Well he will have to face him on his own, I will not back him up when the bloke starts up on us next time. Next party I will go out or stay at friends
that way it cant wind me up or make my dog hurt his leg again

 

[Tomme]

I feel for u hun, we have the reverse with our neighbours, saying we're too noisy and we don't look after the garden, the first too noisy came when I was 8 and had friends over in the afternoon (about 4pm) playing in the garden. My uncles 40th birthday(9years ago), my 21st, last week. If we have people round it's in te kitchen(he lives in his kitchen, and both are on the outside of the property's spas far away as we can be without being outside) we don't have outdoor party's often, maybe about 7 in the 16 years we have lived here, police called at quarter to 9 at night because of noise, they just laughed it off as it was only from a old portable tv so couldn't be loud.
Latest was our hedge isn't cut on our side, although all our hedges are done monthly. So to get at him I cut it tothe ground our side and it's still a mess as all the long bits are his side.

Nasty neighbours are a nightmare hun. Id do all you can within the law to annoy them.
Put ur bins by the boundary to their land, put some rotten eggs in there and break them ( you have to put up with the smell when u use it, but it will spoil their night of partying) get floodlights set up so it floods the fields also, get a sign to put up in the front saying no old twa*s here! Lol. Xoxo

 

[lila22]

hi Nikki, so sorry to hear your nightmare, he sounds horrible, i think i would of done the same, maybe your other half thinks if he gets involved there will be big trouble, My ex done this once, a neighbour (man) come to my door having a go about our car parked in the wrong place and my ex did not come and see me and back me up, he said he didnt hear us but we were shouting and i was shouting your a bully!!
It annoyed me he did not back me up so i no how you feel. x x x:hug:

 

[lila22]

Ps, call the police next time as if there on drugs could be scary x x

 

[tanfastic]

Thanks love, I only thought about it after. I was on my own at midnight with nothing to protect me, not even my mobile. The dogs were behind our fence so if they had turned nasty I would have been in a bind. Maybe that is why the bloke was so adamant that I leave immediately. Or they were hiding something. I always think the worst and all night my brain was going over and over all the sounds and voices trying to remember if I heard any animals ( Dog Fighting and Cockerell Fighting) That would break me to know that something like that was going on under my nose I have no idea what the cheering was about as there is no electric on the site so they couldn't have been watching football . It must have been some sort of entertainment ???

Ps, call the police next time as if there on drugs could be scary x x

 

[lila22]

Thanks love, I only thought about it after. I was on my own at midnight with nothing to protect me, not even my mobile. The dogs were behind our fence so if they had turned nasty I would have been in a bind. Maybe that is why the bloke was so adamant that I leave immediately. Or they were hiding something. I always think the worst and all night my brain was going over and over all the sounds and voices trying to remember if I heard any animals ( Dog Fighting and Cockerell Fighting) That would break me to know that something like that was going on under my nose I have no idea what the cheering was about as there is no electric on the site so they couldn't have been watching football . It must have been some sort of entertainment ???

They sound scary like hill billys, def must of been up to something x x x

 

[80's Girl]

I mentioned this website in another thread

http://www.gardenlaw.co.uk/phpBB2/index.php

It's a forum for people who have problems with their neighbours. It's a really good read with great advice. If you post on it you will sure to get some good sound advice - they know what your legal rights are.

Good luck!

 

[Jocie]

Hey girl you did nothing wrong! Your husband just sounds like a guy who likes to put his head in the sand.
There is nothing worse then neighbor problems. I like in an apartment and I hear all sorts of things. Just stick to your guns and call the cops I would and I have. Hold up and keep strong!

 

[*Lisa-Marie*]

Why should you have to put up with disrespectful idiots? I'm all for calling the police if I have tried to be polite and had it thrown back in my face! Especially as if my OH didn't stop me n tell me to calm down I would be over there screaming bloody murder at them lol don't put up with it, and with all due respect I would have told my OH to sack up!!!
Xx

 

[tanfastic]

Thanks Geeks, That has made me feel better and some good advice too. Really appreciate it. I have a bit of a hot temper and I have had some run ins with this guy before, my husband has too, also our next door neighbor and a few of our parish councillors are on other committees with this guy and pretty much dont attend when he is due to be there. He is one of those anal jobsworths that are crying out for a good :smack:. Ooops, dont mean to sound nasty.

No one stands up to him though as they dont like upsettig anyone, we move in and there goes the neighborhood.LOL Thank heavens he seldom comes around to his bit of dirt as I refuse to let someone bully, disrespect or intimidate me. Stupidly so, if someone tries to scare me I see red and attack first. In SA I had a guy put a revolver to my head trying to force me to do something I didn't want to. He must have been a wimpy criminal because I went loopy at him and he put the gun away and ran. Bad day for him reported him and we can all guess the ending to that story. So some bored old guy trying to wind everyone around him up has no chance of intimidating me.

Sadly though I do still want everyone to like me and I do feel bad when speaking disrespectfully to my elders as I was raised not to but he ought to know better