Kids at 26 - your opinion

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Hiya- I don't have kids but I thought I will tell my point

I love my lazy mornings, I love my walks, gym and a glass of wine. I like quiet evenings and spontaneous pub crawls with my hubby.

I like my occasional expensive little things, the fact that I am responsible for my hubby and myself only. No stress, no need to share my time, money or attention with anyone else but him. I love holidays, and weekends away and we do lots of them.

Kids would take away all I love, like and want. It's not my time and not my cup of tea.

I am writing this so that you see things from a different perspective.

There are plenty of beautiful women here who know how to love and how wonderful being a mother is. And I so admire them!!!! I haven't been brought up this way. I don't know other way. My mum loves me lots but she never been a full time mum- by full time I mean someone who was ready to have kids, spend time with them willing to bring them up herself.

She now admits that she had no clue how to be a mum- maybe it wasn't her time?

My point is- kids are not must have but choice. Choose wisely xxx
 
Thanks Lovebeauty, nice to hear some positive words :):) altho everyone on salongeek is always lovely!! Just cant wait for the day i get to tell my other half that hes gonna be a dad...hes just gonna be soooo over the moon (hes already warned me about tears lol) x
My little one, as we speak, is running around kicking his football and looking over at me for approval and looking really proud of himself! He keeps giving me hugs and kisses when I say 'Clever boy!' and running away laughing! It's so rewarding.

Just go with the flow and what you feel is right in your heart. I know that sounds sappy, but as Will.I.Am keeps saying on The Voice, go with your gut, you know yourself if it feels right. X
 
Sunshineinme, I love your reply, so honest and open. I'm currently pregnant with out first baby, I'm 33, my amazing husband is 42. We got together 7 yrs ago and prior to that had never considered kids etc. We got married 2 yrs ago and kind of still didn't give it much thought, I always felt a little uncomfortable though as people sort of expect you to have babies as soon as your honeymoon is over! Lol.
It wasn't until it actually happened that we were then prepared for it. I'm a proper clothes horse that loves nothing more than an afternoon around the shops, I too like to drink Champagne on a Wednesday night because I can, take aways and nights out were always top of my list BUT, and I'm amazed to say, when we found out our happy news I wasn't sad to see all of that change. I now know all the baby shops, have loved designing the nursery etc and can't wait to meet our baby.
I still think that more people should not be afraid to speak out like Sunshine has, I always was a little and just tended to brush off the "ooh, it'll be babies next" comments.
I don't think that there is any right or wrong as long as a child has love, stability and routine (so I'm told), the rest falls into place.
I worked through a make up agency and the work just stopped when I told them. I have, since Jan tried really, really hard to build up my nail business and I must say we have been skint. The baby is due on Monday and I'm still working until this Sat, moneywise I've had to.
Things do come together and people and family are very generous with 1st babies.
We are sorted and if I can make it to Sat I can then enjoy a short Mat leave. I work from my parents house so will have built in childcare lol!!!
If it feels right then do it, if in doubt then don't. I think that the only thing that really matters is that you and your partner are totally on the same page with it and if one is in doubt then hold off and talk about it. Communication is a must I suppose.
Best of luck though, coming from someone who had no maternal instinct at all I've found the whole experience to be thoroughly enjoyable and I now can't wait.
xxxx
 
Hey Sunshineinme :) I'm glad you've posted your opinion, you prove a very interesting point. Reason being is I was exactly like you about 2 years ago, just purely from a selfish point of view I guess, used to look at my friends and think 'God I'm glad I'm not in your position' as in I can come and go as I please, enjoy my hard-earned money as much as I like, be hungover if I like, disappear for a weekend if I want etc.... So many times my very best friend wouldn't come out on the tiles with me spur of the moment bcos she couldn't get a babysitter. I actually started to worry that I would get broody at all becaus

But I've changed my attitude because...well I don't really know but I've evolved as a person i guess. I've gone from being single and a bit of a wild child, and now I'm two years deep in a relationship with the most amazing guy, we're engaged, we have a home and great families and I just think its our time.

But I very much know what you are saying hun xx
 
I haven't actually read everyones replies but I know that for many people, money is a big factor when making the decision to have a baby. Money is actually not all that important. I was one of 5 children and my parents were not well off. All we actually need in life really is love, food and shelter. Most kids have way more stuff than they need. My first husband was one of 12 children; I'm sure no-one would think they could afford a family of that size! Personally, I had a baby at 30, another at 41 and another at 42. Someone on here tried to make me feel ashamed by saying her Mum was the same age as me and basically, what a hideous thought, but I think children are BLESSINGS whenever they come along.
 
Alot of interesting views here. I was a VERY young mum, pregnant at 16 mum at 17 and had my second at 20, im only 21 now. Neither were planned but they will never know otherwise! As far as im concerned there is no such thing as 'ready', they turn your world upside down and theres no way of knowing how you will adapt to it! My stepmum had her first baby at 42, and would say the same, age is irrelevant! As for money, ive been on benefits for most of their lives and survived, so glad to be finishing college in 8wks, gonna make my boys proud!! My point is, ive done it back to front kids before career but things are working out for me just fine! If you both really want a child then go with it, having jobs is a huuuge plus!
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Ive been with my partner for 19 years. We had our first child at 27, he turned 8 yesterday. We now have 3 boys aged 8, 6 and 4.

We both did the usual, school, University, got jobs then we hit mid/late 20's and some of our friends started having children and we both just knew the time was right. There honestly is never a "right time" to have children. Everyone says they are expensive, to be honest? no they are not. They are as expensive as you want them to be. I gave up my job, and Uni training place and have never worked since. We rely on one wage, have 2 houses and live happy. (My OH is not even on a high wage!) We dont get any financial help from anyone. Not even tax credits.
At the time, my OH said, we can either get married or have a baby. I chose baby straight away saying we can get married at ANY age. But children..there is a time limit ( history of early menopause in my family) and we both knew we wanted more than 2 children and all close together. We'd have more than 3 if my body would let me. But it wont :(
We're 36 now, and wouldnt change it. We both feel late 20's was right. We're still young enough to really enjoy being with them and not "old fogey" yet, but also old enough to have a sound financial background should anything happen to one of us.

Sure days go by where I'd give absolutely anything to go back to my pre-children days of Adult conversation, Adult company, Getting up and going to bed when we want. Going on holiday, going to the pub..but I wouldnt honestly change it for the world. (we live 300miles away from Family so really have bought our boys up with no help!)

We know far too many people that left having children until in their 30's and they are struggling to conceive and are having to use alternate methods (IVF and adoption) and its heartbreaking seeing their pain when we conceived all 3 on the first attempt (much to DH disappointment! lol). So again, Age is a Factor and does need to be taken in account. How would you feel having a baby in late 30's or early 40's? What about when they are still at school and you're retiring and want to go off travelling etc? You cant. (My inlaws are suffering this now. They are 60 and retired and have a 14yr old doing GCSE and cant drop everything and go away).

You do what is right for you. Theres never a good or right time to have children.
xx
 
Thanks everyone for ur great stories, im so pleased i started the thread :) im off birth control now anyways, so watch this space :) :) Any tips u all may have would be lovely too lol!! :) xx
 
Thanks everyone for ur great stories, im so pleased i started the thread :) im off birth control now anyways, so watch this space :) :) Any tips u all may have would be lovely too lol!! :) xx

Get to know your body and your cycle. I tracked my cycled for 3 months and could tell easily when I was ovulating. Its funny how normally you go through each month and dont think or are even aware whats going on in your body. But when I was closely monitoring it, and recorded EVERY little bit of info, from slight nigles to consistency of "my leaky bits" :lol: (sorry TMI), I soon pinpointed exactly when I ovulated. I guess hence why it only took one time for each child lol. I reserched loads on the internet too about ovulation. But overall, the most important thing is to not get obsessed or upset if you dont get pg straight away. I had a miscarriage the first time I got pg, and 3 weeks later was pg again! I took alot of stuff with apinch of salt and professionals agreed. Because I knew exactly when we "did it" (i secretly wrote that down too lol) I didnt have to wait the "recommended" 3 months to try again. They only tell you that so its easy to date your pg.

I definately had the scientist in me come out when we started trying. :lol:

Relax, Have fun, dont think too hard about it, dont stress, live and eat healthy and it'll happen soon enough :)
Best of luck to you, and cant wait to hear good news! xxx
 
Amazing advice Caz, thanku hun :D I've downloaded an app to help me work out dates, it also shows me what dates are most optimal for ovulation (14days after ur period is that right?) so im kinda getting the hang of it all lol. Trying not to think about it too much but its just so god damn exciting, cant wait 4 it to happen :) cant wait to post on here when i get good news too!xx
 
Is there ever a right time for anything? If you wait until you can afford to do things they rarely happen, you have to take the bull by the horns sometimes.

You sound sooo excited about it, how can it be wrong?

Wishing you lots of luck with the whole thing . . . . for me, having my kids is THE BEST thing we've ever done and my hubby agrees with that. They add a new dimension and it's true, life will never be the same once you have them. . . but in a good way, a very very good way. . . . I can't imagine life without them and wouldn't want to.

All the best xxx:hug::wink2:;):eek::!:
 
Thanks Blossom :) how lovely to hear how happy u and ur little family are! Yes i am very excited, excited to find out, excited to tell ppl, excited to make hubbys day when i tell him!! Cant wait for that lol ;-) xx
 
One piece of advice I would give is don't try too hard. I've had friends who tried for years and it put a huge strain in the relationship, one had everything, ovulation tests, doctors tests, every month waiting, they gave up and fell pregnant within 3 months :) I think your age is great, not too old, not too young. I had mine at 20 and 24, I watched my friends have nights out, holidays, careeers whilst I was at home with the babies, now I'm out having fab hols, and not worrying constantly about child care and can relax on holiday as they are old enough to swim or play with friends without me constantly panicking about them (my oldest is 17). Whenever you have them, there is nothing that can give you more joy and pride than your children, so planned or not, older or younger, it is an amazing (although hard work) time in your life :)
 
Only you can answer whether it's the right time or not.

I'm 28, oh is 34, we have a 4 yo and 19 months. Couldn't be happier. It's hard work, but very rewarding.
 
Omg I'm actually crying at this thread lol!!! It's like we've been gave a little sneak peek into starting a new life
Making me broody

I had my daughter 18 months ago and I was 23. We decided to go for it and try to have a baby in between my husband leavin the army and at the time he didn't have a new steer to set I to... We still felt it was the right time for us and we've made it work. Unless you are living on the breadline already you will adjust and learn to afford baby things. Being pregnant you soon realize your needs come secondary.
I wouldn't change having my daughter when we did . Life may have been in a bit of a tizz but it was right for us
Good luck anyway :)
 
Hey geeks, im almost 26 and engaged, we have been together 2yrs. My other half is 30 and we have recently been talking about having a baby. I know this thread will probably spark a lot of debate but when do u think is a good age to have kids? Is there ever a right time? Do u think u should be financially stable first or is that an unrealistic view?

So many people have said either "go for it, its the best thing you'll ever do" or "wait a few years and enjoy ur time together"

I know u should go with ur heart and gut, but i was just interested in what your opinions were :o) nothing like a bit of lunchtime debate lol xxx

Hi like you I was 26 an my OH was 30 when we decided to try for a child, although we had already been together for 10 years so had already spent the quality time bit together! I was really lucky getting pregnant, I had my coil removed on 16th of may and according to the doctor conceived on the 24th of may, so it was extremely quick! I agree with most of the other posters there is never a right or wrong time, it's when it's right for both of you, it's very rewarding but extremely hard work! You have to be ready to give up your life as it was before and be prepared to start a wonderful new one with your family! My family live abroad so I only had my OH to help with everything an that can be really hard especially when you both just need a break an there's no babysitters around! I have always said I only ever wanted 1 child and have been called selfish for this, but it's my choice I know we are not financially able to have any more an I don't want to rely on handouts, the way I see it is my daughter has all my attention, time and love and is the happiest little 2 year old ever! She is also the most clever 2 year old I know! Good luck with every thing x
 

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