Male intimate waxing - what is appropriate?

Lolly22

Active Member
So I'm new to this treatment and still only done a handful of clients.

I trained with Kim and have spoke to her about this but i was just curious to know how you lot would react to this.

I had a new client in recently and he had an erection the full time during the wax. He didnt address it, nor did I, and he lay with his eyes closed not saying a word. I found it made the wax difficult but done it anyway as I wasn't really sure what to say. Afterwards I told him I didn't find it appropriate to be like that the whole time and that if he were to come back I wouldnt expect that again. He then told me it couldn't be helped which I thought was rubbish, I think if you wanted it to go away enough it would.

Anyway I am curious to see what you guys would have said, would you book someone like this again? I am just interested to see what boundaries you guys set yourself?

Oh I also then found out later than the guy had gave me a fake first name, so in this case I won't be re booking this person.
 

jacquelineanna

Well-Known Member
Did he do or say anything inappropriate?
This can sometimes happen ... and they really don't want it to ... the fact he had his eyes closed the whole time supports this.
I have two clients like this.
I always address it by telling them not to worry about it too much. And then I ignore it.
Other guy clients assure me that it can be controlled... and others advise there is nothing lovely about having hair ripped out of one's scrotum so they don't understand how or why it happens.
If you have ever had a Hollywood wax you will perhaps appreciate how unpleasant it can be.
Re a fake name ... I've never had someone do this (to my knowledge) ... but I can understand that some men really don't want to be identified in any way re intimate waxing ... so long as you have the correct means to contact him I don't think it's a concern. In fact how do we know that anyone's name is what they tell us it is.
I rely on my intuition and all of my senses when I am dealing with male clients ... and I am never alone in the salon with them.
Having said all of that, if you don't want to treat him again that is your decision.
 

KrisKross

Well-Known Member
So if he was lying there with his eyes closed not saying a word, were you chatting to him or was the treatment carried out in complete silence? If so then it sounds like it was uncomfortable all round.

I'll follow this thread with interest as I'm training in male intimate next week.

The fake name might be enough for me not to rebook this person, although thinking about it, I have (female) clients who book via Facebook and use fake names because they are teachers or police so aren't on FB under their real names - did he fill out a consultation form with other contact details, address, etc?
 

VeryBusyBunny

Active Member
Is it possible that he used his middle name?
 

Lolly22

Active Member
He didn't do anything innapropriate no, like I said he just lay there. We were chatting before I turned him over to start doing a bit of waxing on his chest and the intimate wax itself. And that's when he closed his eyes and stopped chatting, so I just assumed he didn't want to chat and it did feel a very uncomfortable time. He was quite an awkward person aswell.

No I've decided not to book him again because it's something im not comfortable with and he had been to a few places before so I'm guessing he has maybe not been booked back in there either.

I was just curious to see what you guys thought. I didn't feel threatened in anyway, I just felt a bit uncomfortable with it and I don't think it's appropriate. I'm just not willing to wax someone when they are erect, it just doesn't sit well with me.

Regarding the name yes it is possible it was his middle name but Facebook kindly suggested I add him as a friend after I saved his number so I know not to book him and the names didn't match. It could be that he uses a different name for Facebook. I just found the whole situation weird and he didn't seem to want it for genuine reasons.
 

attitude

Well-Known Member
Erections happen. If you are not comfortable with that, you shouldn't be doing male waxing.
 

motherbird

Active Member
Well I may be on my own here but for what it's worth no, I don't think it's alright ! I think that it's great that people look at all the possibilities and reasons for giving incorrect name etc and give some leeway for erection remaining throughout but, we can explain away forever and sometimes it's just not ok. I think these could be clear warning signs that maybe all is not 'OK' when taken together and our instinct is there to safeguard us. Though we cannot always rationalise our instincts they are there for a reason.
I think there will be many many men out there who you will wax and feel completely comfortable with.
Do you work alone ? Are you mobile ? How do you advertise ?
I'm a female intimate waxer and always though I would have no issue with training for men but actually maybe it's just not for me, I accept that.
What did Kim say ??
 

Lolly22

Active Member
Erections happen. If you are not comfortable with that, you shouldn't be doing male waxing.
I know they happen and I'm ok with that but I just think if it were a genuine person they would address it. But to lie there and say nothing, it just didn't feel right to me. I just wanted people's opinion that's all.
 

Lolly22

Active Member
Well I may be on my own here but for what it's worth no, I don't think it's alright ! I think that it's great that people look at all the possibilities and reasons for giving incorrect name etc and give some leeway for erection remaining throughout but, we can explain away forever and sometimes it's just not ok. I think these could be clear warning signs that maybe all is not 'OK' when taken together and our instinct is there to safeguard us. Though we cannot always rationalise our instincts they are there for a reason.
I think there will be many many men out there who you will wax and feel completely comfortable with.
Do you work alone ? Are you mobile ? How do you advertise ?
I'm a female intimate waxer and always though I would have no issue with training for men but actually maybe it's just not for me, I accept that.
What did Kim say ??
I work in a salon but I'm in the basement on my own. This person found me through my website. Oh yeah I know I will wax many people and this won't happen, maybe the odd time but I think for it to remain throughout is a bit strange, and you have to go with your instincts.

Kim agreed that it was weird she said it's an uncomfortable experience when something like that happens and they don't acknowledge it so she said she wouldn't book him again if it were her.
 

squidgernetball

Ubergeek
I had a young man in for a massage who was very directive about what he wanted. He was enjoying it a little bit too much so at the end I said I felt our massage wasn't for him. He'd perhaps benefit from a more remedial massage, not the aromatherapy that we offer. I made it clear I wouldn't book him in again and gave him the number of a remedial masseuse. Gut feeling was that he was trying us out. Testing the water. There's a salon near us that offers happy endings so I don't know if he was confused or it was a bit of a game. You have to go with your gut x
 

Lolly22

Active Member
I had a young man in for a massage who was very directive about what he wanted. He was enjoying it a little bit too much so at the end I said I felt our massage wasn't for him. He'd perhaps benefit from a more remedial massage, not the aromatherapy that we offer. I made it clear I wouldn't book him in again and gave him the number of a remedial masseuse. Gut feeling was that he was trying us out. Testing the water. There's a salon near us that offers happy endings so I don't know if he was confused or it was a bit of a game. You have to go with your gut x
Yeah I agree with going with your gut. I just don't know, it didn't seem like he was lying there willing it to go away. It was like her was lying there enjoying it. I didn't feel right about it afterwards and ended up feeling like I had done wrong by actually carrying out the treatment. But the next time I think I'll just address the situation if they don't first and make it clear I won't be waxing them if they are like that.
 

motherbird

Active Member
It's very easy to question yourself at the time, but at the end of the day your safety is paramount. A few months down the line, with a bit of perspective, I think you look back and think yes I did the right thing, but whilst you are 'in' the situation you obviously worry that you've been harsh or over sensitive. At the end of the day nothing bad has happened, this gent can go somewhere else for his wax and you can continue with clients with whom you feel comfortable. All is good but trust your gut, something wasn't right for you this time and I think Squidgernetball has a very valid point about people trying you out. He may have been absolutely ok but by not rebooking you won't have to worry about next time.
 

Lolly22

Active Member
It's very easy to question yourself at the time, but at the end of the day your safety is paramount. A few months down the line, with a bit of perspective, I think you look back and think yes I did the right thing, but whilst you are 'in' the situation you obviously worry that you've been harsh or over sensitive. At the end of the day nothing bad has happened, this gent can go somewhere else for his wax and you can continue with clients with whom you feel comfortable. All is good but trust your gut, something wasn't right for you this time and I think Squidgernetball has a very valid point about people trying you out. He may have been absolutely ok but by not rebooking you won't have to worry about next time.
Yes I think you are right.

I was just curious to see what boundaries people set themselves and what they see as appropriate v innapropriate.

Thanks for all who participated
 

Cathi44

Bliss
I think if you're going to offer male waxing you have to be 100% confident in dealing with guys and everything that comes with them. I don't offer male waxing but I think it's the same as female intimate waxing..... it's up to the therapist to put the client at ease and make it a relaxed, non-embarrassing treatment. You also need to be firm & direct about what's going to happen during the treatment and what you expect from your client. And handle any awkward situations smoothly & confidently. That said, you always need to go with your gut feeling.... whether it's male or female, sometimes it just doesn't feel right. x
 

Lolly22

Active Member
I think if you're going to offer male waxing you have to be 100% confident in dealing with guys and everything that comes with them. I don't offer male waxing but I think it's the same as female intimate waxing..... it's up to the therapist to put the client at ease and make it a relaxed, non-embarrassing treatment. You also need to be firm & direct about what's going to happen during the treatment and what you expect from your client. And handle any awkward situations smoothly & confidently. That said, you always need to go with your gut feeling.... whether it's male or female, sometimes it just doesn't feel right. x
Yes I agree. I also think because I'm quite new I just didn't know how to deal with it. But you live and learn and I'll be more prepared the next time something like that happens and more prepared with what to say aswell.

I think somehow some people have taken from this that I shouldn't be doing guys if I wasn't prepared to put up with this. I just don't think it's appropriate and just didn't sit well with me, I know it does happen but for the full length of the treatment again just doesn't seem right to me.

I just purely wanted to know how people would react and what boundaries they set themselves.
 

WaxGirl

Well-Known Member
Yes I agree. I also think because I'm quite new I just didn't know how to deal with it. But you live and learn and I'll be more prepared the next time something like that happens and more prepared with what to say aswell.

I think somehow some people have taken from this that I shouldn't be doing guys if I wasn't prepared to put up with this. I just don't think it's appropriate and just didn't sit well with me, I know it does happen but for the full length of the treatment again just doesn't seem right to me.

I just purely wanted to know how people would react and what boundaries they set themselves.
Then you just follow that feeling, I agree with you its not acceptable,

and it would be useful to hear opinions from waxers on here who do men's intimate waxing on a regular basis

Loving Motherbirds input!!! - sensible balanced thinking
 

mjs

Member
I specialise in male waxing and have done for 6 years. This does happen but usually you can tell it's embarrassing for the client, some address it some don't. Usually after removing a few strips of wax it usually subsides on its own! I'm afraid some guys can't control it so he was probably telling the truth about that...but what I would have been more concerned about was that he had is eyes closed throughout the treatment. Only experience will give you more confidence and ability to read these fellas. In 6 years I've only 'banned' one guy and it wasn't because he had an erection it was because he was making stupid comments and he was getting on my nerves!!! One of my regular clients always had an erection throughout most of the treatment until one day, after a good few waxes he decided to text me and say how sorry he was that it kept happening, after I had assured him 'it happens don't worry about it' it never happened again! If you feel uncomfortable then don't book him again. Most men are lovely but always be in charge of the situation and trust your gut instincts.
 

JayM

Active Member
I had a young man in for a massage who was very directive about what he wanted. He was enjoying it a little bit too much so at the end I said I felt our massage wasn't for him. He'd perhaps benefit from a more remedial massage, not the aromatherapy that we offer. I made it clear I wouldn't book him in again and gave him the number of a remedial masseuse. Gut feeling was that he was trying us out. Testing the water. There's a salon near us that offers happy endings so I don't know if he was confused or it was a bit of a game. You have to go with your gut x

Omg! I'd die. How do you know a salon near by does happy endings? Should have sent him there x
 

JayM

Active Member
I think if your not comfortable then don't book him back in again. If you have a gut feeling about him and you wouldn't feel comfortable it's totally understandable. Maybe in time you may see more cases of this and not be as freaked out by it but I can understand why you are. X
 

squidgernetball

Ubergeek
Omg! I'd die. How do you know a salon near by does happy endings? Should have sent him there x
The salon near me has scantily clad women in thongs on their website. It's very clear the sort of massage you'll get.

When someone tries to control a situation like that, I felt he was taking it out of our hands. He said he'd been working out a lot - he clearly hadn't. When I asked where as my husband is a personal trainer, he stammered over the answer.

The first thing I say to clients is that we offer aromatherapy massage but he slipped through the net. I have lots of male clients and some are older and say slightly inappropriate things, usually from embarrassment but they're total gents, but he made me feel so uncomfortable I was itching to either hit him or leg it out of the room. I knew I had to say something to stop him returning.

We have to stay safe and it can often take us half a lifetime to trust our gut instinct. It's there for a reason x
 
Top