lpq
Well-Known Member
I feel so pathetic and dont know what to do, i need to type it all out and probably shouldnt do this on the internet but i need advice. its a lot to type so i wont be suprised if no one reads it all! the problem is because ive put all my effort into my career (im about to open my first shop - my only positive) ive lost friends and only really have 2 left who have boyfriends and are always naturally with them, its the boys they have always been with where as i have had a few crap relationships so they dont really understand and think this is just another bout of bad luck for me.
I met him 2 years ago we got serious very quickly, soon he was telling me he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Ive built up my career the most in the past 2 years when i was with him and he supported me through it. He had a rubbish job, then moved on to another rubbish job but we got by. His main problem is he is a typical man in that he works with hard to get. If i was really nice or showed too much feeling he backed off or acted like a lad, thought he was it - i loved him so he didnt need to try. However when i was saying get lost then dont care etc he would be literally kissing my feet.
we had the usual arguments about him being lazy around the flat etc (we moved in together) but always resolved them.
He managed to find a good job, a really highly paid job, it meant he had to do a weeks course but i encouraged him. It then turned out that the job was a 1 hour 30min drive from where we stayed, and happened to be very close to where his dad stayed. so he started the job, and we realised he would have to stay with his dad monday - friday for the job. he got no phone signal where he stayed and at the jobs as they were in the middle of nowhere so i only got one phone call a night from the landline phone. the first week he was gone we really missed each other at the weekend couldnt wait to see each other, next week i was feeling a bit depressed, finding it difficult ended up moving back to my mum and dads and each week got a bit harder. when he got home at weekends it wasnt like he was happy to see me, it just felt like he hadnt left nothing had any effort in it. i understood he was tired but never wanted to do anything, just catch up on his sky+
we ended up having a massive argument about us, i felt unwanted when he was coming home we would just bicker about everything, it all came to a head and we really fell out, i said there was just no point. i went home and he went out to his dad. He called me to say sorry but i ignored it.
The next day we spoke and said we were both just finding it hard being apart and he told me he really wanted to make it work. we spoke normally for the rest of the week. i asked if he could take the friday off to help me in my shop, he told me he couldnt he was too busy.
He called me on the friday at 11.30 and said he had finished early (he starts at 9) i thought it was weird but just glad he could get away early, he said hed get a shower and come to meet me. He didnt arrive at my house till 4pm. He came in looking like he hadnt had a shave all week - he knows i cant stand that so i didnt kiss him. he then went on to brag about an amazing lunch he had - but had no time to shave? we bickered about it but got on with the day. the next day he invited his brother over to stay but never said anything to me, later he then asked me to go home so he could have a night with his brother. Im quite close with his brother and we all get on really well so couldnt understand, i was upset because we only have 2 days together and he was chucking me out the flat i once lived in with him. he later on the phone denied he had asked me to go and was being a real.. ahem.. we had another massive fall out.
the next day i felt bad like i was being selfish, i felt i was hiding my love for him because i was scared he would push me away like he always does, i asked him to come over for a talk. i opened up and told him how much i loved him etc etc. he agreed but then said "i need time to think". I was confused and started thinking. I had noticed he was hiding his phone all weekend, we dont look at each others phones but are not secretive with them, i noticed he would look at it when i left the room. so i asked him to check the time, he went bright red, hid his phone and looked and put it away to tell me the time. i noticed he had a new text and told him he had ignored the txt and his reply was "ill check it later" my stomach sank because i knew something had happened. he then left to visit his mum.
after he left i thought about it and just knew there was something going on that he was keeping from me, i needed to know. ive always said i have like a 6th sense for these things! the only thing i could think of to find out would be looking at his emails, i really would never normally do this but i just knew. I logged on and right enough he had been mailing a girl. most of his messages he sounded so desperate begging her to come over to his dads but she kept refusing but he kept asking! next she had sent him a topless photo him calling her sexy beautiful etc. i felt sick the final straw was the last email i read saying " i have friday off work please meet me" i almost passed out and got my phone to call him, i tried 9 times he ignored every call. i began thinking he wasnt at his mums at all and he didnt call me back, my mum saw me distressed i broke down in tears told her and she naturally was like ahh bad words bad words i got really angry that he still hadnt called back and stupidly went onto facebook and wrote "ive been cheated on so angry" i just needed support and instantly regretted it but then he called me. i asked him who she was etc and he just denied denied said he didnt know what i was talking about, i hung up. he txt me saying he was so sorry he was such an idiot. he then told me hed admitted to his family what he had done and was so sorry. his mum and brother both called to check i was okay, agreeing he was an idiot but dont beleive he physically went through with anything. i didnt care it was enough i was too angry. once long before i met him i started seeing a guy, i then got an email from a girl telling me she was his girlfriend and warning me he was a player. i was so glad to be told that before i got in too deep i remembered this and thought i should contact her to do the same favour, she ignored me. instead her boyfriend sent me a message saying thanks but she didnt cheat and neither did my boyfriend ( i count the emails and lies as cheating though) and that her and my boyfriend used to see each other before he met me.
the next few days he sent apolagetic txts but i was too angry, i couldnt be with him id never trust him again i was soo annoyed i just send angry txts back. eventually he sent me a txt saying "fine forget it" he then didnt contact me for 3 days, after 3 days of no contact i began to miss him and txt him "i miss you" he ignored me. 2 days later i was so pissed off i just broke down so upset, i called him and all he could say was i took it too far by contacting her/facebook he was too angry at me!!! as usual because i showed my weak feelings he felt he had the upper hand. he just said he was too annoyed and we ended the call. we didnt speak for another few days. this was last week.
This week 2 days ago he txt he just like how are you hows the shop normal chat. he asked me if i was ok, i said "as ok as i can be, are you ok?" he said "same" so then i txt him saying "after all this mess, i realise i really do love you and cant stop it" he didnt txt me back.
he didnt txt me all day the next day i was raging! i txt him the night saying that was it, i didnt want to be friends with him because it wasnt fair he just chose when he wanted to speak to me, he txt me saying he was going to call when he got home from work.
he called me said he had never got my txt and got both of them at once apolagised then had a big normaly convo again about my shop etc. he then interupted mid conversation about my shop and said "anyway im calling you because of your txt, well i dont feel the same way anymore, were just not going to work" i thought i was going to be sick so i just hung up. he called back i ignored it and he left a message saying he thought i would respect his honesty since i moaned at him ignoring me. he ended the message saying hed call me later.
hes never called again, i dont expect him too but im so distraught. i dont really think that in theory because hes away and il soon have the shop open we would hardly see each other but i cant help but feel so much for him, ive never been like this before. ive had other serious relationships but got over them a lot easier, it just doesnt feel right this time!!! ive not contacted him but i feel so alone.
if your still reading your an amazing person and hopefully can give some advice! thanks for reading.. x
I met him 2 years ago we got serious very quickly, soon he was telling me he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Ive built up my career the most in the past 2 years when i was with him and he supported me through it. He had a rubbish job, then moved on to another rubbish job but we got by. His main problem is he is a typical man in that he works with hard to get. If i was really nice or showed too much feeling he backed off or acted like a lad, thought he was it - i loved him so he didnt need to try. However when i was saying get lost then dont care etc he would be literally kissing my feet.
we had the usual arguments about him being lazy around the flat etc (we moved in together) but always resolved them.
He managed to find a good job, a really highly paid job, it meant he had to do a weeks course but i encouraged him. It then turned out that the job was a 1 hour 30min drive from where we stayed, and happened to be very close to where his dad stayed. so he started the job, and we realised he would have to stay with his dad monday - friday for the job. he got no phone signal where he stayed and at the jobs as they were in the middle of nowhere so i only got one phone call a night from the landline phone. the first week he was gone we really missed each other at the weekend couldnt wait to see each other, next week i was feeling a bit depressed, finding it difficult ended up moving back to my mum and dads and each week got a bit harder. when he got home at weekends it wasnt like he was happy to see me, it just felt like he hadnt left nothing had any effort in it. i understood he was tired but never wanted to do anything, just catch up on his sky+
we ended up having a massive argument about us, i felt unwanted when he was coming home we would just bicker about everything, it all came to a head and we really fell out, i said there was just no point. i went home and he went out to his dad. He called me to say sorry but i ignored it.
The next day we spoke and said we were both just finding it hard being apart and he told me he really wanted to make it work. we spoke normally for the rest of the week. i asked if he could take the friday off to help me in my shop, he told me he couldnt he was too busy.
He called me on the friday at 11.30 and said he had finished early (he starts at 9) i thought it was weird but just glad he could get away early, he said hed get a shower and come to meet me. He didnt arrive at my house till 4pm. He came in looking like he hadnt had a shave all week - he knows i cant stand that so i didnt kiss him. he then went on to brag about an amazing lunch he had - but had no time to shave? we bickered about it but got on with the day. the next day he invited his brother over to stay but never said anything to me, later he then asked me to go home so he could have a night with his brother. Im quite close with his brother and we all get on really well so couldnt understand, i was upset because we only have 2 days together and he was chucking me out the flat i once lived in with him. he later on the phone denied he had asked me to go and was being a real.. ahem.. we had another massive fall out.
the next day i felt bad like i was being selfish, i felt i was hiding my love for him because i was scared he would push me away like he always does, i asked him to come over for a talk. i opened up and told him how much i loved him etc etc. he agreed but then said "i need time to think". I was confused and started thinking. I had noticed he was hiding his phone all weekend, we dont look at each others phones but are not secretive with them, i noticed he would look at it when i left the room. so i asked him to check the time, he went bright red, hid his phone and looked and put it away to tell me the time. i noticed he had a new text and told him he had ignored the txt and his reply was "ill check it later" my stomach sank because i knew something had happened. he then left to visit his mum.
after he left i thought about it and just knew there was something going on that he was keeping from me, i needed to know. ive always said i have like a 6th sense for these things! the only thing i could think of to find out would be looking at his emails, i really would never normally do this but i just knew. I logged on and right enough he had been mailing a girl. most of his messages he sounded so desperate begging her to come over to his dads but she kept refusing but he kept asking! next she had sent him a topless photo him calling her sexy beautiful etc. i felt sick the final straw was the last email i read saying " i have friday off work please meet me" i almost passed out and got my phone to call him, i tried 9 times he ignored every call. i began thinking he wasnt at his mums at all and he didnt call me back, my mum saw me distressed i broke down in tears told her and she naturally was like ahh bad words bad words i got really angry that he still hadnt called back and stupidly went onto facebook and wrote "ive been cheated on so angry" i just needed support and instantly regretted it but then he called me. i asked him who she was etc and he just denied denied said he didnt know what i was talking about, i hung up. he txt me saying he was so sorry he was such an idiot. he then told me hed admitted to his family what he had done and was so sorry. his mum and brother both called to check i was okay, agreeing he was an idiot but dont beleive he physically went through with anything. i didnt care it was enough i was too angry. once long before i met him i started seeing a guy, i then got an email from a girl telling me she was his girlfriend and warning me he was a player. i was so glad to be told that before i got in too deep i remembered this and thought i should contact her to do the same favour, she ignored me. instead her boyfriend sent me a message saying thanks but she didnt cheat and neither did my boyfriend ( i count the emails and lies as cheating though) and that her and my boyfriend used to see each other before he met me.
the next few days he sent apolagetic txts but i was too angry, i couldnt be with him id never trust him again i was soo annoyed i just send angry txts back. eventually he sent me a txt saying "fine forget it" he then didnt contact me for 3 days, after 3 days of no contact i began to miss him and txt him "i miss you" he ignored me. 2 days later i was so pissed off i just broke down so upset, i called him and all he could say was i took it too far by contacting her/facebook he was too angry at me!!! as usual because i showed my weak feelings he felt he had the upper hand. he just said he was too annoyed and we ended the call. we didnt speak for another few days. this was last week.
This week 2 days ago he txt he just like how are you hows the shop normal chat. he asked me if i was ok, i said "as ok as i can be, are you ok?" he said "same" so then i txt him saying "after all this mess, i realise i really do love you and cant stop it" he didnt txt me back.
he didnt txt me all day the next day i was raging! i txt him the night saying that was it, i didnt want to be friends with him because it wasnt fair he just chose when he wanted to speak to me, he txt me saying he was going to call when he got home from work.
he called me said he had never got my txt and got both of them at once apolagised then had a big normaly convo again about my shop etc. he then interupted mid conversation about my shop and said "anyway im calling you because of your txt, well i dont feel the same way anymore, were just not going to work" i thought i was going to be sick so i just hung up. he called back i ignored it and he left a message saying he thought i would respect his honesty since i moaned at him ignoring me. he ended the message saying hed call me later.
hes never called again, i dont expect him too but im so distraught. i dont really think that in theory because hes away and il soon have the shop open we would hardly see each other but i cant help but feel so much for him, ive never been like this before. ive had other serious relationships but got over them a lot easier, it just doesnt feel right this time!!! ive not contacted him but i feel so alone.
if your still reading your an amazing person and hopefully can give some advice! thanks for reading.. x
