Missed miscarriage - anyone else?

[Lush-Lash]

Hi ladies, sorry for being depressing, just need somewhere to talk.

were all mostly girls together on here so I'm hoping (well not hoping as I'd not hope anyone had been through this) but im 'hoping' someone has been here before.

As some of you already know I had ivf treatment & it worked first time (10 years trying for a baby) lost both of my fallopian tubes previously due to 2 ectopic pregnancys & also had hydrosalpinx, also I've got pcos so quite a lot going on in the fertility department. Obviously with no tubes I have to have ivf to concieve.

So I got my positive result a few weeks ago, had a scan on Xmas eve showing gestational sac & yolk sac in the right place (early scan was to check everything was growing in the right place after previously having 2 ectopic pregnancys)

My next scan was new years eve, scan showed small sac, large yolk sac, small fetal pole & no cardiac activity. Was prepared by consultant for missed misscarraige & booked me in for another scan again today. (Been the longest week ever waiting)

Today's scan (im nearly or should be nearly 8 weeks pregnant now) showed everything still similar but slight growth on all accounts, only thing being quite different is a fetal heart beat today, only it's much slower than expected & I'm still measuring 9 days behind. we see flicker of heart on screen & it's majorly pulled at my heart strings thinking of the poor little thing in there

Nurse said book a scan for 8 days time but be prepared for the heart to stop beating during this time, feel so sad & angry.

I know it's harsh for anyone to go through losing a baby & I'm not saying I'm worse off or anything but its taken us far too long to finally get here & a LOT of blood sweat & tears going through ivf which was traumatic enough, but now im thinking all this for what?

We asked today what slim chance we have of things being ok, all she said was 'I'm so sorry guys'

so basically you haven't a cat in hells chance, go home!'

I'm trying to work with a brave face on, I should really have some time off but I can't not earn anything or the bills don't get paid, I don't need money worrys on top of all of this.

Ladies who have been unfortunate enough, how was you treated? Naturally, medical management or d&c?

I should add, I wont have a d&c as I'm full of scarring inside from my previous surgerys & I've got fitz Hugh Curtis syndrome already from scarring so I can't risk ashermans syndrome from d&c, ive enough issues down below & dont need anymore, dr understands my reasons for this, I know ashermans syndrome from a d&c is 1 in roughly 100 women, but fitz hugh curtis syndrome from scarring in pelvis is odds of 1 in 30,000 of getting it & I got it so I don't class rare things as rare anymore.

To be honest I'm really scared about all this.

thanks x

 

[missty25]

Can't offer any advice but just wanted to send you a virtual hug. x

 

[lydia c]

I am so so sorry to hear this , this happened to my sister back in may ! She went to her first and last midwife appointment , they tried to find a heartbeat nothing . She went for a scan and it was confirmed no heartbeat ! She was 14 weeks , they think it happened around 12 weeks , she had medication to start contractions and delivered a few days later , it was so hard for her and the rest of the family , but she got through it but she never found out the cause , all I can say to you is take the time you need to grieve , my sister got a ring with the foetus birthstone that way she never forgets x
It's awful and I am really sorry ,all the best and take care Xx

 

[McKendrick22]

Im sorry i don't have any advice to give but i didn't want to read and run. Im sorry to hear what a traumatic time your going through and hope things start to look up for you.
Vicki xx

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[lydia c]

You will be treated with dignity and respect by hospital staff , don't worry my sis said it isn't painful physically just emotionally , once again I am so sorry Xx

 

[angelcake]

I'm so sorry for the heartache you are going through.
I don't want to go into too much detail on here but I have had several missed miscarriages, the latest one being at 12 weeks. Each time I miscarried naturally and I'm glad that I chose to do it that way but everyone is different I suppose.
Feel free to PM me if you want to but someone might come along that can give better advice than I can x

 

[angelcake]

Ps, I did eventually have a positive outcome and now have a very lively 2 year old boy x

 

[gillian w]

I can only empathise having had two miscarriages myself and offer hope to you that my friend eventually had her lovely boy after 12 miscarriages at the age of 44.

 

[GlamourEyes11]

Oh Hun, I'm so sorry :'( I can't offer any advice. Just wanted to send you a virtual hug (wish I could give you a real one) I was so happy to read your news on a thread the other week as I know how hard it's been for you.
Big hugs hun, hope all is ok, will keep my fingers and toes crossed.

Xxxxxx

 

[Only-me]

I am so sorry to hear this sending you thoughts and hugs.. Didn't want to read n run
Please keep us posted x 💗

 

[tiatia22]

I'm so so sorry Lush lash, I had a d&c when no heart beat was found at about 10 wk . My heart goes out to you.x:hug:

 

[Crystal colleen]

Hi Hun to start much love and hugs for you at this sad time.

I have had 3 miscarriages and lost my boy at 23 weeks.

After my 3 miscarages I fell pregnant with my boy and everything was going fine until I hit 8 weeks and my waters started to trickle then that was ongoing I lost lots of blood and became very ill and then I got to 20 weeks and went into hospital as I was litterally on deaths door and they told me all my waters were pretty much gone and he and myself were in a lot of danger I kept going with him I didn't want to give up I asked hospital staff to transfer me to another hospital because they wouldn't try to keep him alive and they refused and on the 16th may 2005 he was born and passed away in my arms very sad time for me and I was 18.

I then had my daughter at 25 weeks a year later and thank god she survived but 6 months in hospital and lots of probs now.

The hospital have told me I have a 95% chance of it happening again so that was a big blow to me so I know how you feel I feel it's hopeless as I would love another 1 day.

I felt like a failure and still do at times.

Never give up hope coz miracles do happen obviously you have been through hell and back which must be so frustrating for you and upsetting.There is hope big hugs to you and your partner.xxx

 

[boobaloo]

So so sorry to hear your news just heartbreaking. I had a miscarriage at 10wks but I guess luckily it all happened naturally and then was examined and the fetus was removed. The hospital and staff were amazing as we're all of my friends and family. I cannot imagine how you are feeling after such a long battle sending hugs xx

 

[sukic]

I really feel for you. I had 3 miscarriages one after the other. First two I miscarried naturally, the last one I had medical management. I ended up haemorrhaging, so wouldn't recommend going down that route if you can help it. It's so heartbreaking. I'm so sorry you're going through this :'(

 

[Dani04]

So sorry to hear ur news :-(

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[misslady]

So sorry to hear that Lushlash. I had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks - baby stopped growing from 8 weeks. I started to bleed so went to the hospital, booked d&c but I passed everything naturally the same day. xx

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[KayaPapaya]

Sorry very sorry to hear this news lush-lash. X

 

[SerenityNailz]

I'm so sorry your going though this hun :-( especially after such a difficult journey to get pregnant.

I didn't have a missed miscarriage but I had a molar pregnancy at the start of 2011. I was 8 weeks along with sharp shooting pains (which I kept telling myself were implantation pains). I went for a scan at a and e and was told everything was fine but they scheduled a more in depth scan for two days later.

I just knew something wasn't right and when the sonographer turned the screen away and called in a consultant I knew it wasn't good. They then explained that it could either be a missed miscarriage or a molar pregnancy (I'd never heard of either before!) and I went for a d and c the following week.

Two weeks later I was told that it was a molar pregnancy and I went into a follow up program to ensure my tumour markers stayed down and that it didnt grow back as if it did I would need chemotherapy. Luckily my markers stayed down and I didn't need chemo.

I came out of follow up in September 2011 and was told that there may be genetic issues which caused the molar and that it may continue to happen in subsequent pregnancies.

Thankfully it doesnt appear to be genetic as I now have a little girl but my pregnancy was full of problems and I went into labour at 22 weeks and almost lost her too :-( - my heart goes out to you - stay strong sweetie x x x

 

[Hazemalone]

I had a missed misscarridge in Aug 2011. I didn't need a d&c luckily but to be honest I'm only really getting my head right now. I'm so sorry your in the position your in but try to stay relaxed and calm because there is always a chance especially with a heartbeat. Ill say a prayer for you Hun xxxx

 

[Tomme]

I'm no use on the subject but want to pass on a big hug to you as your partner. I really do wish you all the best to have what you deserve soon xoxo