My oldest, my baby girl is growing up too fast!

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Biljana

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Sigh... :( I don't think I went through all these changes at 9, why must our kids grow up so fast and it seems to be happening earlier these days. Or is it just me wishing she stays my little girl just a bit longer? I am very happy that she came to ME, spending the day with her yesterday almost brought me to tears a few times. We had to go shopping for a training bra GASP I know! I closed the shop for a few hours and treated her to a mani/pedi and her first facial :) She asked so many questions about her body and life that it scared me but at the same time made me feel better knowing she feels comfortable to seek out my company and advice. I hope and keep my fingers crossed that I can always keep the lines of communication open and that she knows where to come when she needs it.
How are you ladies and gents dealing with your growing children/pre-tweens? What are your worst fears and how do you shake them off?
 

waffle4

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Sigh... :( I don't think I went through all these changes at 9, why must our kids grow up so fast and it seems to be happening earlier these days. Or is it just me wishing she stays my little girl just a bit longer? I am very happy that she came to ME, spending the day with her yesterday almost brought me to tears a few times. We had to go shopping for a training bra GASP I know! I closed the shop for a few hours and treated her to a mani/pedi and her first facial :) She asked so many questions about her body and life that it scared me but at the same time made me feel better knowing she feels comfortable to seek out my company and advice. I hope and keep my fingers crossed that I can always keep the lines of communication open and that she knows where to come when she needs it.
How are you ladies and gents dealing with your growing children/pre-tweens? What are your worst fears and how do you shake them off?
Sorry I'm confused , you start a thread upset that your 9 year old daughter is growing up too fast then say you gave her a mani, pedi and facial! Don't you think that's actually encouraging her to grow up a bit quick in itself? Adult treatments on a 9 year old?!
 

Biljana

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Sorry I'm confused , you start a thread upset that your 9 year old daughter is growing up too fast then say you gave her a mani, pedi and facial! Don't you think that's actually encouraging her to grow up a bit quick in itself? Adult treatments on a 9 year old?!
OOh but there was nothing adult about her treatments, the extent of her treatments covered basic hygene on how to take care of her nails and skin. My mom gave me my first facial cleanser,toner and moisturizer when I was 5, because proper hygene is important. She complained about a few pimples on her jaw, what would you have done? Motherly thing to do is to show her how to take care of her skin, no? How am I to blame that she is sprouting hair, getting hormonal breakouts and the such at her age? Should I just ignore it and hope that her school covers the birds n the bees subject? No thanks. I am just saddened by the fact that this is happening at her age, but I am taking a proactive approach rather than allowing her surroundings/media and others to give her the imformation that should come from me.
 

Biljana

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Besides, my clients book their pre teens with me for skin/nail care consultations all the time, including teen facials ( I show them simple steps of basic skin care that they should follow at home) It IS my job, why wouldn't I teach my own? Just because she is 9 doesn't make it unacceptable :( It is just sad, sad for me as a mom because I didn't go through this till I was more like 12.
 

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I personally think its great to talk to kids about the changes there body goes through early on, my ten year old started her periods last week, had to start wearing a bra at the start of the year , and when her periods started she was more laid back about it than me because she knew what was happening as we had talked about it many a time before, I've taught her about cleansing and toning and moisturising to keep her skin clean to avoid breakouts, she's still my baby and always will be and I tell her that, but I like to think that I don't leave her second guessing or learning things through playground talk, if she asks me something I tell her ! Xx
 

Christy.

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Please dont feel you need to justify treating your daughter.

I think its fab she felt she could come to you and ask questions about what's going on. She probably felt much better knowing and understanding why its happening, how to help and look after her skin, as well as having a good pamper session from her mam x

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Biljana

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I personally think its great to talk to kids about the changes there body goes through early on, my ten year old started her periods last week, had to start wearing a bra at the start of the year , and when her periods started she was more laid back about it than me because she knew what was happening as we had talked about it many a time before, I've taught her about cleansing and toning and moisturising to keep her skin clean to avoid breakouts, she's still my baby and always will be and I tell her that, but I like to think that I don't leave her second guessing or learning things through playground talk, if she asks me something I tell her ! Xx
That is exactly what I want to avoid! My children getting misinformed by their peers, I have made it very clear that there are no taboo subjects and Id rather have everything out in the open, no judgements of any kind. Hoping that one day they can grow up with their own developed identity and values, not what they picked up from the 'playground'
 

Biljana

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Please dont feel you need to justify treating your daughter.

I think its fab she felt she could come to you and ask questions about what's going on. She probably felt much better knowing and understanding why its happening, how to help and look after her skin, as well as having a good pamper session from her mam x

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It is quite amazing that people attack parents for their parenting techniques, even though every child/parent/situation is as unique as they are, and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for everyone.

I have 'pamper' sessions with her often as she is the oldest of the 3 and I feel she needs the most one-on-one attention from me. We do movies/shopping and hands and foot care, it's just now that we started the skin care as she voiced her concern.
 

sparkle_beauty

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I think it's great that you have a relationship with your daughter where she feels comfortable to come to you for advice I never had that with my mum.
I also wish someone had told me about skin care at a young age as I suffered terrible breakouts and was bullied at school for it.
I hope my son and daughter grow up knowing they can talk to me about anything.
 
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tonicj

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In my day 9 year olds were just that, doing what 9 year olds did back then and what a contrast it is to that very same age today. My goodness have kids changed! Probably a 9 year old today was equivalent to a 13/14 year old back then. Young kid's have so much more now. Even my own daughter, now 24 didn't have pamper treatments available to her. When I was 9 I wanted to be like my mum, dressing up, lipstick, heels but our mum's didn't have what young mum's have today, spray tans, nails etc. So I guess young girl's now are just wanting to be like their mum's, just like we did, only difference being there is so much more available to them now. So it's up to mum's how far they take it.
 

nails.donna

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When my daughter was younger we use to have pamper days, we still do and she is 23 next week, with 3 kids of her own!!!!! She now looks forward to a pamper so she can have 5 mins peace and quiet, I have 3 wonderful grandson who love having their toes painted they think it's great the middle one loves pink toes like mummy and Nanny (he is 2) I think it's great to spend one on one time with your kids no matter what age they are, I only had the one child but I have 2 step daughters that will come to me if they need any thing done or answered as they know I will give them an honest answer. And we often have days when the 4 of us get together and do face masks, main and pedi' s my step daughters are now 17 and 14 and we have been having pamper days for at least 5 years. I think it's great that we can pass our knowledge on to them and if doing it through our profession then why not!
 

georgieboo

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That is exactly what I want to avoid! My children getting misinformed by their peers, I have made it very clear that there are no taboo subjects and Id rather have everything out in the open, no judgements of any kind. Hoping that one day they can grow up with their own developed identity and values, not what they picked up from the 'playground'
My mum always said to me if your old enough to ask, your old enough to know and we have the most amazing relationship, when I was growing up there was nothing I was too embarrassed to ask my mum, even things my friends were to shy to ask their mums, they would come to me because they knew my mum was awesome and very honest with me.

It's excellent that you have this bond with your daughter, it will keep you close even through the horrible teenage years to come!!! Xxx

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dandelionpoppy

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When my daughter was growing up she stayed quite child-like until her mid-teens, despite starting her periods while at primary school. I wouldn't have allowed ear piercing etc, although earpiercing was the only one we clashed on.

It is a poignant moment when your daughter is poised to become a woman.

She now has 2 daughters, 4&6, who are the apples of my eye. I look after them 1 day a week, and do mani, pedi and back and foot massage on them. We never overstep school rules -no varnish on nails term-time - and they LOVE their pampering. Of course, I wouldn't overstep Mum's rules, ever.

I also "educate" them about skincare, nutrition (their Mum does a great job on this too!), and generally keeping healthy.

During the summer hols I treated them to a wash/cut/blowdry and "funky feet" pedi at a children's salon.

So, I have relaxed the rules......

BTW I used to be a Headteacher, so I have a lot of experience with children and parents.
 

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I got upsset on friday cos my nearly 15 yr old boy choose his work experience placement and it dawned on me that very very very soon he'll be either going to uni or college or getting a job ad wont need me so much or god forbid he'll get a girlfreind and thats it, mum tossed to the wayside.............

I know i'm being daft but i can't help feeling that I'd be lost without him and his brother............:cry:

I think I'm getting the onset of "Empty Nest" syndrome....but he's not even left home! lool :o
 

glairkemma

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Oh indeed they are. My baby girl was like that too. :)
 

gemmalou1981

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My daughter is 12 and the apple of my eye but also the reason for my grey hair, high blood pressure and sleepless nights. She started periods month after she turned 10, had to have proper bras at 10 and at 12 is a 30dd bra size. She was bullied so badly over it she had to leave school and be home schooled for nearly 3 months while I got her into another school. I had to have a child protection meeting and police involvement (and nearly locked up myself) after a 16 yr old boy took too much interest in her and attempted to blackmail her into sending indecent photos. She is so little but with the hormones of someone so much older so she can't control it when she gets hormonal and moody and turns my house into ww3!!! She looks so much older in anything she wears that I have to be careful on what I allow her to wear as she is still a child not even a teenager.
Kids are growing up so much quicker nowadays its frightening and as parents all we can do is guide them in the right way. All of her friends get their eyebrows done,nails done, make up etc. I have rules. Eyebrows done by me or another girl who I know is good, mascara and concealer if she must wear make up (not that she really does anymore) and (shock horror opening myself up to huge amounts of abuse) if she wants her nails done only I do them. Her friends go to the local nss or a local girl who charges £5. I would rather do her a set with no prep just put them on for occasions and holidays than have her sneak off and come back in a mess. Xx
 

Biljana

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I got upsset on friday cos my nearly 15 yr old boy choose his work experience placement and it dawned on me that very very very soon he'll be either going to uni or college or getting a job ad wont need me so much or god forbid he'll get a girlfreind and thats it, mum tossed to the wayside.............

I know i'm being daft but i can't help feeling that I'd be lost without him and his brother............:cry:

I think I'm getting the onset of "Empty Nest" syndrome....but he's not even left home! lool :o
It is scary :( My baby boy is only 2 but he is growing like a weed
 

Biljana

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My daughter is 12 and the apple of my eye but also the reason for my grey hair, high blood pressure and sleepless nights. She started periods month after she turned 10, had to have proper bras at 10 and at 12 is a 30dd bra size. She was bullied so badly over it she had to leave school and be home schooled for nearly 3 months while I got her into another school. I had to have a child protection meeting and police involvement (and nearly locked up myself) after a 16 yr old boy took too much interest in her and attempted to blackmail her into sending indecent photos. She is so little but with the hormones of someone so much older so she can't control it when she gets hormonal and moody and turns my house into ww3!!! She looks so much older in anything she wears that I have to be careful on what I allow her to wear as she is still a child not even a teenager.
Kids are growing up so much quicker nowadays its frightening and as parents all we can do is guide them in the right way. All of her friends get their eyebrows done,nails done, make up etc. I have rules. Eyebrows done by me or another girl who I know is good, mascara and concealer if she must wear make up (not that she really does anymore) and (shock horror opening myself up to huge amounts of abuse) if she wants her nails done only I do them. Her friends go to the local nss or a local girl who charges £5. I would rather do her a set with no prep just put them on for occasions and holidays than have her sneak off and come back in a mess. Xx
I do my best to keep her in age appropriate clothes and we do a lot of family activities in order to keep her busy, I figure if she does fun stuff with me or the family it may instil some values and good morals. One can hope, right?
 

gemmalou1981

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I do my best to keep her in age appropriate clothes and we do a lot of family activities in order to keep her busy, I figure if she does fun stuff with me or the family it may instil some values and good morals. One can hope, right?
All we an ever do is our best. :) xx
 

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