My sons turning into a monster.

[pinkshell_nails]

Well, im having a bit of a dilema at the moment, as my son, whos 8, is turning into a monster. Ive actually scared myself today as, after putting up with his rudeness, bad manners, naughtyness, and back chatting, well i filpped. He went to a birthday party this afternoon, and i just had to drop him off and collect him later. Well i thought he would be ok, as he's usually ok for people he doesnt know, he certainly wouldnt be cheeky to them, or so i thought! He came home after the party and the mum told me how both her and her hubby had had to tell him off all afternoon, as he was being really rude to all the adults, and back chatting them all. It may seem really trivial to all you guys, but ive been trying to cope with his behaviour for months now, what with being called into school all the time, and i asked my son to tidy his room, and he was really really rude and back chatted me massively. All of you with kids knows what its like when you get pushed and pushed all day, and i went mad with him. I just flipped and screamed the house down, and i cant believe how upset i actually feel. I had to walk away from him as i thought i was going to explode. Now i really dont know what to do with regards to his behaviour, its stating to really get me down. Ive tried telling him off, sending him to bed, no computor, not letting him out to play etc etc, all to no avail. At this moment in time i really do feel sad about it all. Hes been sent to bed and hour early, adn ive told him hes not having privilages all this week unless he earns them. Hes even on report at school for goodness sake!
Well, thats my moan of the day, and if anyone has any magic potions or solutions to help with my sons behaviour, feel free to let me know!

 

[Lellipop]

I too have a little monster like you. I have recently changed his diet so no cola, sweets or junk food, He is also on omega 3 fish oil, And I have already seen a change in his behaviour. I would give it ago because I too was at the end of my tether

 

[angel fingers]

it might have been just what he needed, you going mad at him. it will probably show him just how much you are willing to take.maybe he will take more notice of you now.

 

[Rose143]

I too have a little monster like you. I have recently changed his diet so no cola, sweets or junk food, He is also on omega 3 fish oil, And I have already seen a change in his behaviour. I would give it ago because I too was at the end of my tether

I don't have children but to second what Lell is saying, my boyfriends little brother had to cut things out from his diet because of his behaviour, he was diagnosed with ADI, no colourants in his diet, no junk food and lots of fish and vitamins, he changed overnight, it was incredible. You could actually have a good conversation with him without him turning into a terror!!!! And he sat STILL!!!

 

[mandy_moo_64]

Your little boy sounds exactly like my 11year old stepson. I used to dread having him in my house when he came to see his dad cos he was such a nightmare, but a couple of years ago he was diagnosed with ADHD by a doctor. He's on Ritalin now, and my God, what a change we've seen in him! He only starts to slip back into his naughty ways when he's due his medication.

I would strongly advise you to see your doctor, but in the meantime, cut out all the foods that have lots of colourings in them ie) smarties, cola, diluted juice etc

I hope you can find some help, cos you must be going thru hell. Sending you lots of hugs

 

[nicjill]

I don't have kids of my own but my parents are foster carers so I've come across some little monsters! I was going to suggest altering his diet. If he's played up at a party, it could be sugar & colouring overload. A lot of the time it is attention seeking behaviour at that age so often the best form of punishment is to sit them on their own in a room, or away from yourself with no toys, etc. That's all I can suggest I'm afraid. HTHs

 

[NAIL FRENZY]

I had to change the diet for two of my children because of behaviour problems. Fizzy pop, tip tops, certain sweets and even chocolate just sent them into a complete nightmare. I then only brought the original ribena as it does'nt have the artificial sweeteners that some pops have and this really helped. I always took one thing away from them at a time, first the football, then the computer etc, otherwise you are left with nothing else to take. Sometimes I had to go upstairs and sit on the side of the bath for a while untill I had calmed down, then I went downstairs and spoke to them about their behaviour. I think because I was calm it helped to keep the situation calm. I always lavished loads of praise on them for good behaviour (OMG I'm starting to sound like that woman off tele! ).

I'm absolutely no expert but as I have been through this myself I know just how frustrating it can be when they just won't listen. All the above really helped with my kids behaviour so you never know it might work.

Let us know how you get on.

 

[kittenclaws]

hiya, if you have seen the posts about my son you will know i have had it all with him, the advice everyone has given is great, food colours and additives are a big no no, one of the worst things i found was hot dog sausages, blue sweets (although all coloured sweets are dodgy) you should go see the doctor, even if it is just for a listening ear,
also another idea if you have a garden, give him his own piece of garden, buy him some seeds, and let him have his own little haven, whare he can go to de stress himself, i thought it was a silly idea at first but it works, also if you give pocket money, turn it into wages, for example, if he gets £5 a week make a contract saying he gets 50p a day for good behaviour, thats £3.50, then if he has had a full good week he gets a bonus of £1.50, total £5.00, when he has earnt the money put it in a little pay packet for him with a little slip saying what he has done to get it, i have found this works wonders with my daughters
hope some of this helps

 

[GlitzyGirl]

My son used to be an absolute angel, until he started school. Then he started changing for the worst. But the worst came when he was about 8. He got to be a real monster, playing up for me, answering back and being rude to me. Luckily, he was never rude to other people he saw and generally behaved for other people. But at home he was a real nightmare. When he was about 10/11, I just had to complain to his teacher, just to get it off my chest really. Her answer to me was that, some children start to go through their teens at about 9/10 years of age, and that she really thought that was what was wrong with my son, as at school he was good as gold and quite as a mouse. Now, I am starting to think , that maybe she was right, as now that my son's 13, he's much better, not at all like teenagers I hear of. Even though he still sometimes answers back, in a more grown up way, he's generally well behaved. He's biggest problem is that he teases his 5 1/2 yr old sister a lot. Most of the time he's in his own room, doing his own thing. Maybe I've still got the worst to come, he is only just a teenager, but at the moment I am quite pleased with his general behaviour.

So. it might be that this is happening to your son as well, but you should still seek some help, if you're really worried, or try changing his diet. But, remember to always show him your love. He might just be doing it for attention. As we all know, if you ask them, they'll say they never get enough attention.

Good luck with him, and I am sure he'll turn out just fine.
Sorry to go on so long.
xx

 

[sugarbabe]

There does seem to be an awful lot of agreement on the diet side. I went to a nutritionist having suffered with depression and taking anti-depressants with no effect for over a year. Within 3 weeks of changing my diet I was a different person, with energy and enthusiasm for everything - I got my life back! I was so impressed that I took all my kids to get them checked over, and they had similar intolerances to certain foods. Changed diet = changed kids!

My eldest is dyslexic and dyspraxic and had huge difficulties concentrating, but with a diet cutting out all the stuff that didn't agree with him he suddenly found school easier, and started to sit still and concentrate. Fish oils are brilliant - we have the EyeQ ones.

My doctor was not particularly helpful, and would only say that if you cut out certain foods from your diet it makes family meal preparation difficult and your child won't 'fit in' at parties..... Don't know if she gave the same advice to diabetics and coeliacs!!!!! But I would prefer my children happy, calm and healthy than (in its most basic form) poisoned by additives, pesticides and synthetic crap!

I think diet is always a good starting point, then back it up with star charts for good behaviour with a decent treat - not necessarily expensive, but giving lots of your attention.

No kids are perfect and most of us could happily throttle them from time to time (well I know I could!) but you sound like a really caring mum and one day (not anytime soon, but one day) he will appreciate that fact.

Stick with it - you are doing the very best you can.

Just my humble opinion of course x

 

[welshrarebit]

Hiya


Did anyone see the programme on ITV the other week with 3 teenage boys - I think it was Trevor McDonald? The 3 boys were around 15 and there had been diagnosed with ADHD. They were so bad and distuptive that they had been excluded from main stream school.

They were taken to see a nutritionalist who analysed their diet - it was awful, full of sugar, junk foods etc.

He gave them a new diet to follow, all healthy fresh foods, things they didnt normally eat!

To be fair to the boys they were really willing to try this experiment! After 2 weeks the change in them was amazing! Their concentration levels were increased enormously, their conversational skills were greatly improved and they were able to be in a room and sit still. Even the boys were impressed with the "new them"!
Their parents were even educated into their eating habits because obviously their eating habits were down to the parents at the end of the day because of their ages. The boys said they wanted to carry on with their new diet because they liked the people they had become. They no longer needed the medication they were prescribed for their "ADHD"

So its worthwhile exploring the possibility of the foods that your son is having first and try eliminating the junk and sugars from his foods. You can ask your GP to refer you to a dietician for help and advice if your unsure of how to go about changing your son's diet.

Good Luck

Love

Debbie xxx

 

[dee]

i know how you feel, my son is only 4 but he is a nightmare, at school he is awful i changed his diet and it definatley helps, he only has to have a bit of chocolate and he's :evil: , it really changes him.
i have got some books which are good, theres the "little angels" one (from the programme on telly) and also there is "helping families with troubled children" and they are really helpful, they go through stuff like diet, sleeping, wetting the bed etc..
i found them to be really good , you can get them in amazon , hth love dee :hug:

 

[pinkshell_nails]

Hi guys,

Thanks for all the really helpful advice. I feel a little better today, maybe coz ive slept on it? I have tried giving my son the eyeQ and the omega 3 fish oil capsules but he really couldnt swallow them. So then i tried giving him the omega3 in the medicine but he wouldnt take it as it tasted awful! I tried it myself and it really was bad! So im going to try the chewy sweet type omega 3 as it contains all the ingredients but its in a chewy sweet type, like the bassetts vit c ? Well he was ok this morning, i did feel bad last nite as i sent him to bed at 7pm, and i let his little sister stay up, and he knows that if hes good he can stay up till 8pm tonight, if not then its bed early. This morning he was quite good, i said to him, its a new day and a new week, lets have a good one, and he said hes going to try, so i'll see when i collect him from school and read his report card for today! The wages thing is a really good idea, at the moment he doesnt get pocket money, as i tend to give my kids 50p here or £1 there, so im going to try that , and let him earn his money. I'll let you know how i get on! If only kids came with a manual.......!

 

[*JOANNE*]

I too have a little monster like you. I have recently changed his diet so no cola, sweets or junk food, He is also on omega 3 fish oil, And I have already seen a change in his behaviour. I would give it ago because I too was at the end of my tether

my 3 boys are on omega 3 fish oil too,
my ashley who was 8 in february was a quite little chap......oh no not now he isnt
at the moment he is very rude to me but i think this is a stage they go through my ten year old was like this....still is but not as bad.
the thing is i have done the shouting screaming thing but boys are funny things they need aproval and positiveness i found with mine yes grounding them from everything and smack bums, still it wouldnt work so now when they talk to me nicely i will have a laugh and joke and when they are horrid i put them in their rooms, and just tell them (in a pretend to nearly cry way) that i am really hurt and upset that i thought we were getting on.
you do have to stick to your guns with boys.
they now have pocket money which they start off with £10 per month each and when they are naughty £1 comes off each time.....i have even charged them for chewing school jumper sleeves.
so they really have 4 weeks to behave as best they can (cant expect boys too sit still though) then if they have enough money left they will be dead chuffed :hug:

 

[dee]

well i am glad you are going a bit better today , i arnt !!! james threw such a fit before nursery that i couldnt take him, he screamed, cried, threw things for 1 and a half hours :irked: , oh my god it is so hard trying to ignore tantrums for that long :Scared: , he has finally cried his self to sleep :biggrin: (thank god )

 

[Do-it-all Deb]

talking about TV programmes, there is a series currently (Bad Behaviour?) where a pyschologist (ex teacher) has a day long meeting with the parents of troublesome children and then tells them how to behave so that their kids will too! He NEVER meets the kids. What does that tell us about the parents............that our kids learn from us. So.......without getting too depressed and blaming ourselves...........you cannot swear or shout.........calmness and control at all times, even under severe provocation from your kids. His major tool is pocket money but it is given on a daily basis....£1 or less if you cannot afford that.........and then you take 1p away for every bit of bad behaviour, swearing etc. So each day you only give what that child has earnt after punishment at the end of the day. You cannot carry forward any bad behaviour from the previous day, so no matter how bad they may have been, every day starts afresh. One programme I saw was about a delinquent 13 year old....no longer in school, swearing like you've never heard and starting to hit his mum. After a few weeks he was like a different child.....still has problems but nowhere near as bad.

This really seemed to work, and I have no doubt that everything said about diet will also help. Good luck!

 

[Do-it-all Deb]

Following on from my earlier post, if anyone is interested, you can download a book written by Warwick Dyer for £4.80, or it is to be published later this year. This link takes you there I hope.
http://www.behaviourchange.com/warwick-dyers-ebook-download.htm

(by the way, I have just seen that he isn't a psychologist - but if it works who cares!)

 

[crystals]

my son is 5 does, well did the same shouting swearing at me even kicked me hated tacking him any wear, bad parenting hear used to give him sweets all the time to shut him up. so i said enough is enough cut him right down, put him on lots of fruit and wow what a difference. so much calmer will even sit and watch tv instead of annoying his older brothers. still has his moments but a much nicer boy at this moment in time. theres a lot to be said for all the rubbish thats in the ingrediants of our food today.

 

[absolutly fab!]

my eldest daughter was initial diagnosed with adhd, glad i didi not start her on ritalin...... as she is severly dzyslec! but an iq of 137! you are right to check theses things out!

Your little boy sounds exactly like my 11year old stepson. I used to dread having him in my house when he came to see his dad cos he was such a nightmare, but a couple of years ago he was diagnosed with ADHD by a doctor. He's on Ritalin now, and my God, what a change we've seen in him! He only starts to slip back into his naughty ways when he's due his medication.

I would strongly advise you to see your doctor, but in the meantime, cut out all the foods that have lots of colourings in them ie) smarties, cola, diluted juice etc

I hope you can find some help, cos you must be going thru hell. Sending you lots of hugs

 

[liza smith]

it is really amazing that we are just waking up to the "poisons" that r in our every day food.
i've always been diet contious, i've been veggie for 16 yrs, but started eating fish again 2 yrs ago when i wanted to cut down on the bad carbs in my diet.
i cant believe how long i beleived the "low-fat" lie!
take the fat out of something & they put sugar in.
i was once told by a doctor that it was a close call between salt & sugar as to which was the most harmfull to our health!
my nephew has been on concerta for 4-5 months now. this is a slightly newer version of ritalin, with apparently less side affects.
his behaviour is much more calm, they had already changed his diet a yr ago.
im addicted to these new programmes like little house of tiny terrors, im constantly moved by the difference that adjusting the behaviour of the parents makes