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Scrubadub

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Location
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So I do dancing and every year on Easter weekend is the big main nationals that I go to every year. This year Easter is late and my partners nephews 1st birthday party is on this weekend.

I’ve already entered and paid to perform at nationals and quite frankly I don’t like kids so don’t want to go to the party.

My partner isn’t acting like he’s too bothered but I know that his sister is going to be super pissed about it when he tells her. I’ve told my partner to go to the party instead of coming to watch me to ease it a bit but I know he would want to come support me.

What would you do in this situation?

I hate family drama [emoji35] my family would never make a big deal out of this or check I’m free first
 
Well you can’t be in two places at the same time can you? :rolleyes:

I think the compromise that you go dancing, and your other half goes to the kids party is a good one really.
 
Well you can’t be in two places at the same time can you? [emoji57]

I think the compromise that you go dancing, and your other half goes to the kids party is a good one really.

No I know that! I just don’t want them to be s***** with me which they will be when they find out, oh well can’t be helped I suppose
 
No I know that! I just don’t want them to be s***** with me which they will be when they find out, oh well can’t be helped I suppose

Surely if they know you go dancing every year, they’ll understand? It’s just unfortunate that the two events coincide and if they hadn’t, then there’d be no question that you’d have accompanied your partner to the party, even if it meant just grinning and bearing it.
 
Surely if they know you go dancing every year, they’ll understand? It’s just unfortunate that the two events coincide and if they hadn’t, then there’d be no question that you’d have accompanied your partner to the party, even if it meant just grinning and bearing it.

Yeah, maybe, they are like super family orientated that’s the only reason why I’m a bit worried. I’m sure it will be fine, I would have gone if I wasn’t already busy
 
If they are concerned that everyone attends, they could move his party to another day, its not like the baby is going to know what's going on.

Explain you've already paid and go every year, offer to go over another time instead.
They might be snotty about it, but they'll get over it.

Go dancing, have a fabulous time, when you're old and grey you'll care to remember you went dancing at nationals, you won't care to remember you missed out on them to attend a childs birthday party. x
 
They might be ‘super family oriented’ but they can’t impose their lifestyle choices onto you.
They need to respect that you also have your own lifestyle choices and the nationals for dancing is your priority at the moment.

I think this is an excellent opportunity for you to stand your ground and a fair compromise to suggest your partner goes to the party and tell them that you look forward to seeing them all at the next family gathering instead.

(Although, if it was me, I’d be asking my partner to come with me instead to ensure his family understand that the partner is no longer obligated to ‘dance to their tune’ :p )
 
Definitely go dancing. First birthday parties are usually really about the parents as it's mostly too much for the child. It's not as if he will remember whether you came or not and if mum is a real friend, she might be a bit miffed but she'll understand.
 
Thanks everyone! I feel better about saying no now :)
 

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