Ok to 'thin shame' but not 'fat shame'?

[sarah1992]

This is a topic that frustrates me to no end, and I would like to know other peoples opinion on it too, and even just to rant if needs be!

Ok so the point is, it is perfectly ok to call someone 'skinny, a twig, a bag of bones and anorexic' but the minute someone is called 'fat' there is a bug commotion. As someone who has always been a size 6 due to natural build & medical problems (stomach) and very very often get called way too skinny or 'god do you ever eat?' Even asked by a counter assistant "are you anorexic by any chance?" Now, if I was overweight & she had said "do you over eat a lot by any chance? You look very fat" it would have been a whole different thing!

I would never dream of commenting on someones weight unless to say "you have a great figure" because itherwise it's an insult. I understand most don't mean it as an insult but it is very frustrating to hear things like "only a dog wants a bone & only real women have curves" and there isn't even a blink. Especially for someone who has trying to gain weight all my life I get very upset when someone comments on my weight as there really doesnt seem much more I can do about it.

What do you guys think of this?

 

[umvemve]

This is a topic that frustrates me to no end, and I would like to know other peoples opinion on it too, and even just to rant if needs be!

Ok so the point is, it is perfectly ok to call someone 'skinny, a twig, a bag of bones and anorexic' but the minute someone is called 'fat' there is a bug commotion. As someone who has always been a size 6 due to natural build & medical problems (stomach) and very very often get called way too skinny or 'god do you ever eat?' Even asked by a counter assistant "are you anorexic by any chance?" Now, if I was overweight & she had said "do you over eat a lot by any chance? You look very fat" it would have been a whole different thing!

I would never dream of commenting on someones weight unless to say "you have a great figure" because itherwise it's an insult. I understand most don't mean it as an insult but it is very frustrating to hear things like "only a dog wants a bone & only real women have curves" and there isn't even a blink. Especially for someone who has trying to gain weight all my life I get very upset when someone comments on my weight as there really doesnt seem much more I can do about it.

What do you guys think of this?

'skinny, a twig, a bag of bones and anorexic' - who said it is okay to say this? I have a friend with cerebral palsy, you should hear the things people ask/say to her! People are rude, full stop.

 

[sarah1992]

'skinny, a twig, a bag of bones and anorexic' - who said it is okay to say this? I have a friend with cerebral palsy, you should hear the things people ask/say to her! People are rude, full stop.

All things I have been called ,also by friends! I really cant get over how blunt people can be these days and fair enough everyone is entitled to their opinion but there is never any need to insult someone to get your opinion across, you coukd ruin their day/week/confidence with just one rude comment! Your poor friend, they wouldn't be saying the same if it was their family member or friend!

 

[xxAmyxx]

My opinion: Being 'skinny' is acceptable therefore people shouldn't take offense to it, it is how the majority of people want to be like. No one cares if people are skinny but if you're fat you are deemed as lazy etc. I have lost nearly 6 stone and the change in people's attitude towards me is shocking, before I have been laughed at etc! I'm jealous that people can't put on weight! It makes me mad lol

 

[virtues2011]

'skinny, a twig, a bag of bones and anorexic' - who said it is okay to say this? I have a friend with cerebral palsy, you should hear the things people ask/say to her! People are rude, full stop.

...absolutely. That probably is all that needs to be said!

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[sarah1992]

My opinion: Being 'skinny' is acceptable therefore people shouldn't take offense to it, it is how the majority of people want to be like. No one cares if people are skinny but if you're fat you are deemed as lazy etc. I have lost nearly 6 stone and the change in people's attitude towards me is shocking, before I have been laughed at etc! I'm jealous that people can't put on weight! It makes me mad lol

I completely understand what you are saying & well done for the weight loss thats really a huge achievement, its just different ends of the spectrum & I am jealous of people who can gain weight as strange as it sounds, people think when you are thin it must be because you are doing it to yourself!

 

[xxAmyxx]

I completely understand what you are saying & well done for the weight loss thats really a huge achievement, its just different ends of the spectrum & I am jealous of people who can gain weight as strange as it sounds, people think when you are thin it must be because you are doing it to yourself!

Thank you, I can understand from your point of view as well it's horrible when people comment on your appearance, but if I were you I would embrace it, if you can eat what you want, wear anything and look good etc people who usually insult are just jealous :Love:

 

[Kerryrw]

God it really grates on me when I see these Facebook picture quotes "real men like meat, only dogs like bone" Arg!!

I'm a size 6. Have always had trouble with my weight due to certain health reasons also and I've even dropped to a 4 in the past. It really gets to me that people think it's ok to use the phrase skinny and things without giving it a second thought. My sister in law is very overweight, no one calls her "fat" and I certainly wouldn't do it either.... But why do they then think it's ok to say things like "you need to eat more, your so skinny" and give me a look of disgust?

My father in law gave me grief that he thought I wasn't putting on enough weight when I was pregnant, my doctors and midwife said I was healthy and so was my baby. I'm just petite that's all. Leave me alone!!

Sorry that was my little rant lol. I know exactly how you feel xx

 

[Miss Pink23]

My opinion: Being 'skinny' is acceptable therefore people shouldn't take offense to it, it is how the majority of people want to be like. No one cares if people are skinny but if you're fat you are deemed as lazy etc. I have lost nearly 6 stone and the change in people's attitude towards me is shocking, before I have been laughed at etc! I'm jealous that people can't put on weight! It makes me mad lol

I completely agree, I too have lost just over 5 stone and love it when people call me skinny, but can understand that to some this is not what they want to hear.

The fact of the matter is: the media has made it socially unacceptable to be 'fat' and we all 'aim' to be skinny as a result. So to some, calling someone skinny /thin etc (not anorexic) is a compliment, without realising or even considering that they may not want to be thin /are struggling to gain weight /have a medical condition.

 

[sarah1992]

Thank you, I can understand from your point of view as well it's horrible when people comment on your appearance, but if I were you I would embrace it, if you can eat what you want, wear anything and look good etc people who usually insult are just jealous :Love:

Problem is, I dont think it really looks good on me, probably just because I over think it, but thanks!

 

[sarah1992]

Completely agree with you girls, it's definately been spurred on by the media. They are so hypocrytical , one week its "look at the size of colleen rooneys belly" next week its "nicole looking painfully thin" theres no winning (unless you are beyonce of course!)

When people call me skinny I never say thanks and just try change the subject so they see it's not a compliment to some people, if someone like you has lost a lot of weight then if someone was to call you skinny that would be taken as a compliment but personally I would just say "you look great!" And not mention any weight terms.

My doctor actually said to me "you are thin because you dont like to eat and you want to stay skinny" I was so offended as I was there telling him I wanted to gain weight!

 

[Nearlyme]

Am so glad I am not alone in this. I am a size 10 and yes I am a "REAL WOMAN" in that I have a vagina. To say I am not a REAL WOMAN because I am not a size 16 is about on par of me saying a 16 is fat.

As for these "real men dont want a bone" ecards. They are usually posted by woman who are very insecure and need to make themselves feel better. The only way they know how is to try and make slim girls feel bad.

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[sarah1992]

Am so glad I am not alone in this. I am a size 10 and yes I am a "REAL WOMAN" in that I have a vagina. To say I am not a REAL WOMAN because I am not a size 16 is about on par of me saying a 16 is fat.

As for these "real men dont want a bone" ecards. They are usually posted by woman who are very insecure and need to make themselves feel better. The only way they know how is to try and make slim girls feel bad.

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Totally agree, so many images posted as Marliyn Monroe size 16 and has real curves therefore is a real woman, a size 16 is different to what it used to be back then so to say someone is less of a woman for being thin is shocking. You would think women would support each other as weight is such a big issue but it doesn't seem to be the case at all. Glad I'm not the only one who gets so wound up!

 

[xxAmyxx]

They recently compared Marilyn Monroe's clothes to those now and she was around a size 8-10, so anyone that is a size 16 that thinks Marilyn Monroe was the same size are deluded x

 

[Nearlyme]

Totally agree, so many images posted as Marliyn Monroe size 16 and has real curves therefore is a real woman, a size 16 is different to what it used to be back then so to say someone is less of a woman for being thin is shocking. You would think women would support each other as weight is such a big issue but it doesn't seem to be the case at all. Glad I'm not the only one who gets so wound up!

Marilyn Munro had a 22 inch waist which is a uk size 4. A size 16 is 40 inches. She was a anomaly in that she had a tiny waist and big boobs and bum. That is curvey to me.

Also I got annoyed this week when my size 20 friend posted this.
"Yuck, size 10 girls in the changing rooms complaining they are fat, I will show you fat"
I really had to resist tge urge to say "we all have our body hang ups, I often have days I feel "fat" because I have pigged out for a couple of weeks so my jeand feel snug so I cut back, its not their fault that you are a size 20 so just worry about yourself not what dress size other people are wearing"

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[Crystal colleen]

I've been on both ends of the spectrum thin 6-8 and middle sized and then large and trust me you can't win either way around.

When I was thin it was twig,stick,you look ill etc when I was in the middle it was you've put on weigh,or you got a big ass or god you been eating well.Then there is large,your fat, Fu** me what you been eating,jeezus youve got fat etc blahh blahh blahh.I just couldn't win either way.

 

[virtues2011]

The strain on the NHS for illnesses that being overweight causes is colossal, the food manufactures don't help matters by double sizing sweets and chocolates. With the aid of computer games etc, we are becoming lazy and doing less exercise. This is proven.

Media plays a massive part in what is acceptable size wise. Most if not all celebrities are thin, then you have the girls and boys that suffer from anorexia and bulimia through the hype.Shocking illnesses. On the news recently mannequins are now to be a standard size 16 in some large department stores.

Some people prefer bigger partners some people prefer thinner partners. Some people prefer the same sex partners. Everyone is different.

As said at the start of this thread people are rude. End of.

As long as you are healthy and happy I wouldn't give a toss what others have to say about what they think is acceptable or not.

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[sarah1992]

Marilyn Munro had a 22 inch waist which is a uk size 4. A size 16 is 40 inches. She was a anomaly in that she had a tiny waist and big boobs and bum. That is curvey to me.

Also I got annoyed this week when my size 20 friend posted this.
"Yuck, size 10 girls in the changing rooms complaining they are fat, I will show you fat"
I really had to resist tge urge to say "we all have our body hang ups, I often have days I feel "fat" because I have pigged out for a couple of weeks so my jeand feel snug so I cut back, its not their fault that you are a size 20 so just worry about yourself not what dress size other people are wearing"

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Yes, Marilyn did have a great figure that is undeniable but people make her out to be a big hero because of it, kim kardashian has a great figure too and she is called fat & slated for it, nevermind the fact that shes just had a baby!

Oh I would love to say things like that so many times! I dont know one single person who is completely happy with their body so I think it shouldn't be regularly commented on, especially not by other women who are self consious.

 

[Tigan]

It took me 8 yrs to gain an ounce once and i was really trying, i was under alot of stress at the time, i ate well, really well in fact and i was so hurt because people actually thought i was trying to be that thin so much so they invited themselves for lunch, dinner (family, friends) to check on me and couldnt believe how much i tucked away, they knew i was trying to gain weight, but i felt sick all the time from worrying about divorce, my dad etc, i got no end of comments about how terrible i looked, as if i didn't already know, i reckon adrenaline was fast from worry and maybe that was why. It was years ago that happened but i was amazed how long it took, its just as hard as it is for someone to lose weight

 

[sarah1992]

I've been on both ends of the spectrum thin 6-8 and middle sized and then large and trust me you can't win either way around.

When I was thin it was twig,stick,you look ill etc when I was in the middle it was you've put on weigh,or you got a big ass or god you been eating well.Then there is large,your fat, Fu** me what you been eating,jeezus youve got fat etc blahh blahh blahh.I just couldn't win either way.

God, you have really had it from every end! Sorry to hear that, you think you're losing weight to feel great & be healthy but then that just gives someone a reason to analyse you!