Other half 'cheats' at my Xmas party, with my workmates

[LaurenSparkles]

Hi geeks.

I really need some opinions and advise.

This weekend was my works Xmas party. My other half gets on great with everyone from work. So towards the end of the evening he starts dancing with one of my work mates and It was totally innocent, however when everyone decided to go back to our hotel rooms my workmate and my bosses came into our room and were ******* about. I was sat on the bed and my bf started grabbing her **** and pressing his crotch against her front. He kept saying oh I love your **** and my boss was laughing saying that fat ****. It was funny at first but then he kept doing it. He then pulled her on the bed on top of him and kissed her. She then got off laughing and they all left. Now she is married and Is 30 years older than my bf and she thought he was messing around. However I no he wasn't as he was talking to her in the tone of voice he uses when he wants.you no what.
I asked him about it yesterday and he says he can't remember he was so drunk.

What would you do in this situation? I'm embarrassed, upset, hurt and dissapointed. We also have a romantic winter weekend in London
On Thursday. Should I go?

I don't want to xxx

 

[xxJackiexx]

To be blunt , I would get rip ASAP . He has behaved with a complete lack of respect for you . If you are in a relationship you do not go around grabbing bums,kissing or pressing your crotch up against other people . I wouldn't let the workmate/boss off scot free either they have also behaved with a lack of respect xx

 

[pinkfairy]

What?! Oh my word no wonder you're upset!
It's hard for anyone that wasn't there to say exactly what was going on but you know how that made you feel, whether he meant it to be a laugh or not and that's the big issue for me.
Have you spoken to your workmates about it, how she felt it was intended?

The fact that he says he was drunk and can't remember is no excuse. Has he do e anything like this before?

I'm sorry hun but if my other half was grabbing my colleagues bum then pulling her on top of him, etc. I would find it hard to see that as a joke..

Hope you're ok x

 

[ChelleConnor]

Get Rid...
I had a boyfriend do this to me to my best friend on new years eve. Kept grabbing her bum and pushing himself up against her. I dumped him the next day which worked well 'New Year New Start' and all that.
Its disrespectful to you and to be honest how I saw it is if hes doing it in front of you then how does he behave when your not around?!
Been drunk is NOT an excuse I dont care how paraletic you are, I would never behave like that!
Hope your ok and dont worry youll be fine! x

 

[tanfastic]

Get Rid...
I had a boyfriend do this to me to my best friend on new years eve. Kept grabbing her bum and pushing himself up against her. I dumped him the next day which worked well 'New Year New Start' and all that.
Its disrespectful to you and to be honest how I saw it is if hes doing it in front of you then how does he behave when your not around?!
Been drunk is NOT an excuse I dont care how paraletic you are, I would never behave like that!
Hope your ok and dont worry youll be fine! x

I agree, if he does this with you in the same room, what on earth does he get up to when you are not around and he is out with his mates getting drunk.

I am so sorry to hear that your fun evening ended up such a disappointment to you but I would not accept the " Drunk" excuse. How embarrassing for you and your work mates. Imagine having to face them all in the cold light of day.

You deserve so much better from the man you love, if he can not respect you now while he is still supposed to be putting his best foot forward trying to woo you, can you just begin to think how little respect there will be later when you are wearing his ring and he no longer needs to impress or court you?

I would not go to London with him, if he has paid for the trip pack his bags and send him off to go get drunk in London, If you have paid for the trip take a good friend/sister or mum with you and enjoy the time away. If you shared the expense it would probably be best to write it off or pop it on e-bay maybe someone would want to buy a last minute London Break.

Whatever you decide to do just try to remember that you only ever get what you think you are worth. If you don't love and respect yourself, no-one is going to give you the love and respect. Do Not accept being treated so shoddily.

Big Hug to you

 

[laurakate]

Hi geeks.

I really need some opinions and advise.

This weekend was my works Xmas party. My other half gets on great with everyone from work. So towards the end of the evening he starts dancing with one of my work mates and It was totally innocent, however when everyone decided to go back to our hotel rooms my workmate and my bosses came into our room and were ******* about. I was sat on the bed and my bf started grabbing her arse and pressing his crotch against her front. He kept saying oh I love your **** and my boss was laughing saying that fat ****. It was funny at first but then he kept doing it. He then pulled her on the bed on top of him and kissed her. She then got off laughing and they all left. Now she is married and Is 30 years older than my bf and she thought he was messing around. However I no he wasn't as he was talking to her in the tone of voice he uses when he wants.you no what.
I asked him about it yesterday and he says he can't remember he was so drunk.

What would you do in this situation? I'm embarrasses, upset, hurt and dissapointed. We also have a romantic winter weekend in London
On Thursday. Should I go?

I don't want to xxx

awful awful disrespectful behaviour on his part. get rid asap.

 

[ChelseaNails]

Argh, this is why i hate xmas parties, all they're for is to give colleagues the opportunity to get off with each other.

I would talk to him about how you feel, make him see it your way, that if you did that with a guy in front of him how would he feel? Etc

Unfortunately you will probably never be able to get over this feeling of betrayal and so even though you'll want to continue it will likely cause you problems for the rest of your relationship.

I'm so sorry, I hope whatever you decide you have a wonderful xmas with your family and those that love you. x

 

[Lolly22]

I agree with what tanfasic says, if this is what he behaves like when you are there to witness it what the hell does he do when you are not there I would be worried about that! I would get rid of him pronto, that is so disrespectful! If my boyfriend dared do that he would be getting a slap on the face and chucked out of the hotel room!

The fact he was drunk and can't remember might be true, but what else can't he remember doing when drunk. You need to have a long hard think about whether you can trust him now. I hope you do what's beat for you and you deserve someone much better! X

Ps. It also sounds like if you weren't there, those two would definitely be getting it on. I'm sorry honey but I would not go to London and I would get rid of him. The more I read your post the more I realise what an arsehole he sounds!

 

[chillysquibbles]

I would kick his ass out so quick he wouldn't know what hit him ! What a dick! Please don't let him get away with this it's like handing him a free pass saying feel free to walk all over me!

 

[shellz0308]

Aww Hun bless you.

My opinion would be to get rid of him. You saw what happened...if you ask for his side of the story he could pull wool over your eyes. Make a decision and stick with it.

Wish you all the best xxx

 

[nicole333]

He sounds like an immature little boy, who doesn't know how to handle his drink. It's embarrassing and I would get shot.

 

[Haylo_Therapies]

Quiet frankly, joking or not, this is utterly disgusting and totally disrespectful to you. I am sorry to hear you were in this situation. I imagine you felt very uncomfortable. You should return that feeling and tell him you will not go on the break with him (even if you plan to). Just scare him a little. Have him running after you! X



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[leannelily]

He done this in front of you???

What disgusting behaviour? How could you sit there & watch? I would have been ripping his ***** off!!

If i was you i would get rid, as hard as its going to be, you deserve more respect! Being drunk is NO excuse!!

What an ********! You need to have words with your boss too! If it were me i couldn't work with her anymore, i wouldnt be able to get the image out of my head!

Follow your heart, hope u'll be ok!
*hugs*

 

[Penny Vintage]

As everyone else has said, I would get rid. But not without a mouthful first! He needs to see how that made you feel, and that its wrong. You are much better than that, worth more and deserve to be with someone you can trust. I cant imagine how you must have felt watching that.. I think I'd tear him a new one ;-)

 

[Fionalex]

I think i'd have something to say to the other person involved as well!

 

[CHarvey]

And your still with him why?

 

[Ohmygorgeous]

In all honesty if it was me I'd have kicked off at the time and embarrassed them for the disrespectful pigs that they are!
I could never trust him on a night out on his own so I'd get rid.
Take a friend n have a girls weekend

 

[LieLash]

I think that fact that you have posted on here shows you already know the answer.

As women we are all self conscious, and because of this iv learnt the hard we that we need to be put on a pedi stool by our men and treated like queens. Anything less than the man is not the right one for you.
Can you honestly see a future with a man who behaves this way - I think not. His behaviour will lead to arguments, lack of trust and a lack of confidence in Yourself.
Only you know what to do but don't stand for anything less than a man who respects and loves you!!!!

 

[evangelinegrace]

Sounds like a loser to me, avoid!

 

[gr8nailz]

How much time have you invested in this relationship? If it's a relatively new relationship, I'd say kick him to the curb. However, if you've invested years, truly love this man and see a future, I'd say take a step back and take a deep breath.

Behavior like this is completely unacceptable, drunk or not. If he values you and what you have together, he won't EVER want this to happen again and risk losing you. If he's not an alcoholic, he'll stop drinking to excess to ensure that this behavior won't be repeated and risk losing you forever. If you love him, nothing is harmed by giving him another chance as long as you've laid down the ground rules. But he shouldn't get a second chance after that. Remember: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Either way, he needs to know where you stand....that you won't accept this from him ever again. In order for someone to respect you, you have to first respect yourself.

There is also the issue of your boss. Her behavior was completely unprofessional. You need to decide if and how to deal with that issue as well. It takes two to tango and she definitely danced.