Other half 'cheats' at my Xmas party, with my workmates

Chickafish

Well-Known Member
#21
The last time a girl even laid a finger on my husband, I took my earrings and shoes off and was ready to start boppin heads. Not sure how I'd react if I had to sit through what you did (wouldn't wanna know either), but I know the end result would be me rollin solo. It's one thing if another female disrespects me, but to have my other half in on it too?! Pffft! I know I don't need that. Drink or no drink, that's no excuse. If anything, the drinking probably reduced his ability to hold back his actions. Whatever you do is totally on you, but you should know you are worth more than what you saw in that room.
 
#22
Just to echo most others. Get rid. That behaviour is unacceptable x
 

gr8nailz

Well-Known Member
#23
You do make me laugh, Lee!

When I was young, I would've beat the boss's behind Puerto Rican style which means she would've ended up naked and bloody in the hotel parking lot. After that I would've burned all of my man's clothes out on the front lawn then defied him to close his eyes to sleep because I was gonna bash his head in with a bat as soon as he dared to dose off.

But I'm grown now. I'm grown. Maybe. Just a little.
 

Chickafish

Well-Known Member
#24
You do make me laugh, Lee!

When I was young, I would've beat the boss's behind Puerto Rican style which means she would've ended up naked and bloody in the hotel parking lot. After that I would've burned all of my man's clothes out on the front lawn then defied him to close his eyes to sleep because I was gonna bash his head in with a bat as soon as he dared to dose off.

But I'm grown now. I'm grown. Maybe. Just a little.
GURRRRRL! I don't play when it comes to stuff like that! I be bustin out some "don't mess with my man" tune in my head and off I go. :lol: She woulda got a beat down if no one's holdin me back, and all his jeans and pants would have the crotch cut off of them if he had anything to do with it!
 

#25
I would get rid of him. Seeing that done in front of me would make me constantly wonder, what is he doing behind my back? I personally wouldn't want to be in a relationship where that was constantly on my mind. Been there done that and I will never do that again.
 

#26
You do make me laugh, Lee!

When I was young, I would've beat the boss's behind Puerto Rican style which means she would've ended up naked and bloody in the hotel parking lot. After that I would've burned all of my man's clothes out on the front lawn then defied him to close his eyes to sleep because I was gonna bash his head in with a bat as soon as he dared to dose off.

But I'm grown now. I'm grown. Maybe. Just a little.
Excuse me but why blame the boss? Have I missed something.. Maybe she was uncomfortable telling the ops boyfriend where to go? By sitting by and doing nothing at the time the op more or less sent a message to the world that she thought it was acceptable behaviour. If it was me them he would have been in a taxi home. Whilst I apologied to everyone for his behaviour. The boss included! Is then have packed his bags and not wasted myself on a man who obviously has his "finger" in other "pies@!!
 

littlekate

Active Member
#27
OMG I can't believe you had to watch that, and why u didn't do anything?! If that was my boyfriend I would of flipped and I definitely wouldn't be with him anymore. You should absolutely never be treated like that by anyone! He should be worshipping the ground you walk on!! Get rid!
 

happyfeet

Well-Known Member
#28
Hi geeks.

I really need some opinions and advise.

This weekend was my works Xmas party. My other half gets on great with everyone from work. So towards the end of the evening he starts dancing with one of my work mates and It was totally innocent, however when everyone decided to go back to our hotel rooms my workmate and my bosses came into our room and were ******* about. I was sat on the bed and my bf started grabbing her arse and pressing his crotch against her front. He kept saying oh I love your **** and my boss was laughing saying that fat ****. It was funny at first but then he kept doing it. He then pulled her on the bed on top of him and kissed her. She then got off laughing and they all left. Now she is married and Is 30 years older than my bf and she thought he was messing around. However I no he wasn't as he was talking to her in the tone of voice he uses when he wants.you no what.
I asked him about it yesterday and he says he can't remember he was so drunk.

What would you do in this situation? I'm embarrasses, upset, hurt and dissapointed. We also have a romantic winter weekend in London
On Thursday. Should I go?

I don't want to xxx

Oh lovey I'm so sorry this has happened to you. No I wouldn't be going away with him on Thursday. I'd give myself some space to think about this, that's if I hadn't dumped him already. I can totally understand why you feel all of those things and probably so much more. What I think you now need to do, is take stock of the situation, decide if this guy is worth it. Only you know that. As for the lady involved, personally I'd leave her out of it. Should she have stopped it- yes I do believe she should have, but as I wasn't there, I don't know if she felt to uncomfortable to say anything, much like yourself I'd imagine. Not only has he put you in this situation, but he's done this in front of your colleagues, so even if you wanted to react, I'm wondering if your probably couldn't because of who you were with.

He has completely disrespected you even if it was just a 'joke'. No one should ever behave that way when they are in a relationship. I hope over the next few days lovey, you find some peace and decide what you want to do. A tough one for you I know, but don't let him treat you this way and get away with it. Relationships aren't just about hearts and flowers are they, they are about loyalty and respect. Something he needs to learn and learn fast, and if he doesn't ship him out.

Many hugs to you honey. :Love: and well done for keeping your dignity throughout and not ripping him a new one! xxxx
 
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tonicj

Guest
#29
Your partner has definitely crossed the line i'm afraid!! If you stay with him you will always remember this and you will come to dread social occasions. There MUST be consequences!!! I personally would take this as a warning! If this is a short-term relationship, then move on. If it's a long-term relationship it will be harder and more difficult for you, but you must believe that you are worth more than this. You must show him that if he doesn't show you respect, then you must have enough respect for yourself to do something about it. It sickens me to see so many people just putting up with things in relationships. I always believe that we teach people how to treat us. If people treat us wrong, it's because they can!!!!
 

FlawlessBeauty

Well-Known Member
#30
I agree with most of the other posters in that if that was me, i wouldn't be able to trust him anymore. If he did that in front of you, what does he do when he's drinking with his mates?

I'm so sorry for you. The time of year is awful and there is nothing worse than being in that "what do i do" position. How embarrassing for it to be during your work party too. Uggh, what a ****.

One of the important things for me, is how did he react in the cold light of day when you questioned him and brought up how upset you were?

If he was mortified at his behaviour, apologised profusely and declared his undying love and that he would spend the rest of his life making you trust him again, then if you think he's worth it i would consider giving him a second chance.

If he tried to brush over it with "oh i don't remember" and then acted like nothing happened and you should too, i would get rid of him. That would make me think that actually he does remember and he doesn't really care that he's hurt you.

Good luck with your decision hunnny xx
 

gr8nailz

Well-Known Member
#31
Excuse me but why blame the boss?
All joking aside...a REAL woman is always in control of herself.

And why wouldn't she be just as culpable as the OP's boyfriend? She participated in the behavior willingly and knew that her employee, the man's girlfriend, was in their immediate presence. That is just outright disrespectful.

There's also the issue of her being in a management position and there is a line she must toe being in that position. She crossed it. She shouldn't have gotten drunk with her staff in the first place.

If she's not a strong enough person to fend off the advances of a subordinate's drunken boyfriend, I certainly wouldn't want her as my boss. Who wants to work for a woman who's not strong enough to utter the simple word, "No."

Either way, she crossed a line and she is as culpable as the OP's boyfriend. If she didn't participate, there would have been no offense. Like I said, it takes two to tango.
 

#32
like everyone else here has said already, DUMP HIM¬!!!!!!!! QUITE SHOCKING BEHAVIOUR, i would never ever ever tolerate this sort of behavior, you are worth a lot more than that x
 

#33
All joking aside...a REAL woman is always in control of herself.

And why wouldn't she be just as culpable as the OP's boyfriend? She participated in the behavior willingly and knew that her employee, the man's girlfriend, was in their immediate presence. That is just outright disrespectful.

There's also the issue of her being in a management position and there is a line she must toe being in that position. She crossed it. She shouldn't have gotten drunk with her staff in the first place.

If she's not a strong enough person to fend off the advances of a subordinate's drunken boyfriend, I certainly wouldn't want her as my boss. Who wants to work for a woman who's not strong enough to utter the simple word, "No."

Either way, she crossed a line and she is as culpable as the OP's boyfriend. If she didn't participate, there would have been no offense. Like I said, it takes two to tango.
The origional poster said they the boss honestly thought he was just messing around and since she sat back and said nothing I think the boss probably thought that they were one of those easy going couples who found this sort if thing funny.
 

gr8nailz

Well-Known Member
#34
My last comment and I'll leave it alone.

The woman is still in a management position and there is a certain amount of decorum that is expected from someone of her status. There are lines that should NEVER be crossed.

Regardless of whether she thought that it was done jokingly or that her employee and her BF were "into" that type of thing, dry humping an employee's BF falls outside that line of acceptable behavior. PERIOD.
 

#35
My last comment and I'll leave it alone.

The woman is still in a management position and there is a certain amount of decorum that is expected from someone of her status. There are lines that should NEVER be crossed.

Regardless of whether she thought that it was done jokingly or that her employee and her BF were "into" that type of thing, dry humping an employee's BF falls outside that line of acceptable behavior. PERIOD.
He was "dry humping her"
I just don't understand why we always jump on the "well it must be the woman's fault" bandwagon. She wasn't the one humiliating the OP it was her Boyfriend whome ultimately this post is about. Seems OP has no qualms about her boss which is why she still works there and why she is writing about the doubts she has of her boyfriend not those she has of her boss
 
#36
OP, you have had an insight into the 'real' guy you are dating. Only you can decide if this incident is forgivable, and quite possibly you will. But by forgiving him this time you are giving him permission that his behaviour is acceptable...and that will only lead to further heartache for you in the long run because in his tiny little mind you've forgave him for this and listened to his excuses, so what else will he be able to talk you round on? Listen to someone who's been there before and should have known better :mad:
 

angelina221

Master Lash Tech
#37
If he was my partner, he'd be eating through a straw!
 

PixieBeauty

Active Member
#38
I really feel for you sweetheart, especially with Christmas & everything you have coming up I'll bet you'd love to gloss over it & go back to the way things were, before you knew what a scoundrel he was.

Sadly this guy is a real Ahole sweetie & you can't change that. I felt sick reading your post, for how you must be feeling.

I say make the most of the party season & go out & see what else is out there ;) xxx hugs
 

LaurenSparkles

Well-Known Member
#39
Thank you all so much for your support! I don't really have anyone to
Talk too as my mums on holiday.

We have been together 5 years, although we split up and totally moved on for 10 months as I lost the plot through depression.

I haven't spoke to him face to face as he is on night shift this week. He text me saying how sorry he is, he's distraught he's behaved this way. The usual ****. We have a mortgage together, the whole lot!

I'm so embarrassed I dread going to work at head office next where my boss will be! Luckily I'm not there for a couple of weeks.

My boss was totally naive and emailed saying oh I no he was only messing around. She's so lovely she wouldn't have realises he was trying it on.

I didn't say anything at the time cuz I was too tired, had a drink and was far too embarrassed. I hate confrontation and can't even tell him when he has done something stupid like left a wet towel on the floor :(

I need some balls! Xxx
 
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tonicj

Guest
#40
I really feel for you and feel that you may well be in a very dark place at the moment. You say you don't like confrontation, but by NOT confronting situations means that you may constantly live in denial and I would hate this for you. I really don't know your situation but I will say that if you don't get to the route of problems it means that 5 years from now things will be no different for you. I'm afraid a "sorry" text from your partner is not good enough. From your last comment I can tell you are a very sensitive and caring person, but that should never mean that you can be taken advantage off just because of your lovely nature. Your partner may well feel that sorry will be enough but I urge you to think of yourself now and do what is right for you. The more respect you have for yourself, the happier and stronger you will be. Please value yourself :hug:
 
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