Out of the mouths of babes

[HWilliams]

On Sunday, Ant was in just a t-shirt while I was getting dressed (potty training). He was very quiet then yelled, "mummy, my tinky is awake" so I asked him to stop playing with it. A few moments passed, "mummy, tinky won't go to sleep"

Oh dear...

 

[VintageCat]

My son who's 2 1/2 the other day had tucked a silly sausage toy in his waist band and was saying it was his linky (winky) I duly told him off for being dirty imagine my horror when 5 mins later his dad is doing the exact same thing do they ever grow up

 

[Inspired]

I love these, they're so funny.

I was in the supermarket with my 2 year old daughter & she was shouting 'cheeses, cheeses' so I asked her if she wanted cheese. She said 'no mummy, I'm saying Jesus Christ like Daddy does'. OMG!!!!!!

 

[HWilliams]

Anthony tried to say connection but erection came out instead!

An exhaust pipe on a car is a consaust.

And while having his bedtime drink, he told me that he didnt have any bloody shortbread!

My little angel... Lol

Sent from my GT-I9000 using SalonGeek

 

[TracyS]

Kids are fabulously funny!

My nearly 2 year old was in the kitchen, very quiet the other day, I shouted of her to come into the livingroom, the replied I got back was "2 minutes mummy"! I nearly pee'd myself because it was just like hearing a recording of my own voice!

A few weeks ago we were in the MetroCentre and had taken time out to sit and have a coffee in Starbucks or somewhere of that ilk, it was pretty busy and she'd been really good so I was sitting facing her and said "Are you ok there Maisie", "yes mam" came the reply, "I'm knackered"!!! The very well to-do couple sitting next to me nearly spat their cappuccino's out!

Her older brother (who's 6), woke her up on xmas morning, he went into her room saying "Maisie, Santa's been", her response to him.... "oh joy, sleeps time now"! - completely nonplussed about being woken up at 8am!

Full of attitude and not 2 for another month! :lol:

 

[HWilliams]

Anthony tried to say connection but erection came out instead!

An exhaust pipe on a car is a consaust.

And while having his bedtime drink, he told me that he didnt have any bloody shortbread!

My little angel... Lol

Sent from my GT-I9000 using SalonGeek

Directions are erections, he corrected me this morning.



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[annie:)]

My son cant talk really yet but id bought my partner loads of underwear for xmas, suspenders the lot and as my parents are round toby just walks pulling the lot with him! Me and my mum laughed but my dad and fella were not amused haha xx

Sent from my X10i

 

[Astarstyle]

Just remembered a funny from a couple of years ago. Sat watching Star Wars for the first time with Jackson and said to him 'look, there's Chewbacca!' ...to which he replied 'What? Micheal Chewbacca?'

Well I laughed and cried at that one! :lol: x

 

[HWilliams]

Just remembered a funny from a couple of years ago. Sat watching Star Wars for the first time with Jackson and said to him 'look, there's Chewbacca!' ...to which he replied 'What? Micheal Chewbacca?'

Well I laughed and cried at that one! :lol: x

Brilliant!

 

[lucyboo]

The funniest was at breakfast a few weeks ago, I was just taking a mouthful of coffee when my 7 yr old lucy asked daddy what he was doing to mummy to make her scream this morning!  & on boxing day my 3 yr old George called my father in law a knob head!!!

 

[linziiddles]

my little boy is nearly 5 now, but has come out with some right corkers over the last few years, never fails to amuse me!!
he has a friend called rashad in his class who is an asian lad. very sweet little boy......see him and his mum walking to school one day and matty shouts 'MUMMY THERES MY FREIND RASHAD!!' I reply, 'yes baby i know. ' he then continues to shout ' he's black mum!' me 'matty don't be rude' he then says in a very LOUD whisper.....'DOES THAT MEAN HE'S DIRTY??' I could have died......

The other one was the last time i got in the bath with him.....haven't got in with him since. Mummy!!! Where is your willy??? i try to explain that ladies don't have willies but he cuts me off by shoutin..... DONT MOVE MUMMY I'LL FIND IT! You will squash it if you move!! Whilst continuing to pat the surface of the water in the bath looking for my missing willy............kids.......Can;t wait for the 1 year old to start!!

 

[missymish]

Some of these have had me in stitches.

My middle boy is 5 now and is a complete nutcase and comes out with crazy things on a daily basis.

His first word was the best we were at my nans house and she had 3 dogs at the time someone knocked at the door and the dogs went mental the dogs calmed down and all of a sudden at 9 months old he said "shut up" his first delightful words that was a sign of what was to come !

 

[Lovebeauty14]

Linziiddles thats so funny! ;-)

 

[annie:)]

I was having a shower the other day and my daughter ripped back the curtain I was having a shave down stairs normally nothing down there but on this occasion she said mummy I can't believe it you have got trees growing down there she then told me to turn round so I did and she said don't forget your bum mummy there is trees there to put the curtain back and left :o:o

Lol omg I shaved like my life depended on it lol x

Iv just read this to my fella n he went 'errr women have hairy bums aswel?!' I said 'no babe not all women'.

Il still be shaving when im 90 now haha xx

Sent from my X10i

 

[JuicyLucy]

We went to visit my sister in law who had recently had breast implants. My sister in law insisted on getting them out in front of all of us including my then 6 year old daughter who never said a word but her eyes were popping out of her head.

On the way home, my daughter asked me how Aunties boobies had grown so big. I told her that she'd had a special operation.

"Would you like to have big boobies that like one day?" I asked
"Oh no mummy" came the reply "I'd much rather have little baggy ones like yours"

Meant as a compliment, I think :lol:

 

[nicolaluise]

A funny one I remember from my sister being little is having her friend round for dinner one night, the friend was telling us about her upcoming communion, my sister asked why she was having a communion and the friend explained it was because she was catholic, my sister ahhed and said that she wouldn't need one as she's a Virgo lol!

 

[Crystal colleen]

Iv just read this to my fella n he went 'errr women have hairy bums aswel?!' I said 'no babe not all women'.

Il still be shaving when im 90 now haha xx

Sent from my X10i

Lmao well I'm not ashamed to say I have I've got pitch black hair so all my hair is black everywhere and it didn't help that I started shaving at 11 so obviously it grows back thicker lol I didn't even have to shave my bum but I did anyway so now I regret it lol xx

 

[kirsty14]

There is 10 years between me and my brother and I always remember when he was about 3.5 he stubbed his little toe on the door and came running through crying and said Kirsty my socks hurt! Aww was ap cute! Not so funny but still makes me laugh x

 

[linziiddles]

Linziiddles thats so funny! ;-)

yeah, hes brilliant.......

His first word was car, which was ok, but his second 'proper' word, was GAY!!!

I thought it was funny to begin with, but when he was sat in a trolley in tesco's, shouting at every single man, woman and child 'GAY GAY GAY GAY' its not quite so funny. I was mortified!!!

 

[Lovebeauty14]

yeah, hes brilliant.......

His first word was car, which was ok, but his second 'proper' word, was GAY!!!

I thought it was funny to begin with, but when he was sat in a trolley in tesco's, shouting at every single man, woman and child 'GAY GAY GAY GAY' its not quite so funny. I was mortified!!!

Pmsl! Mines 16 months and all he says is 'got'! Thank God it's nothing more embarrassing!